# Outcast ## A Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuuutsu fanfiction ### by Brian Randall Disclaimer: The series begun with the light novel 'The Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi'/'Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuuutsu' is the creation of Nagaru Tanigawa. No disrespect is intended with the creation of this work. * * * After a relatively relaxing day of weekend with no greater responsibilities than playing with my younger sister and helping her with her homework, I woke up uncomfortably early on what should have been a restful day. My mission was to meet with Suzumiya and the others for whatever club activity she'd designed. At breakfast, my mother raised an eyebrow at me wearing the school uniform. It wasn't that uncommon for students to wear their uniforms outside of school, and the alternatives.... My outdoor shoes were worn and scuffed enough, despite my better efforts. "What's this all about, then?" she asked, handing over my portion of rice. "I joined a club," I admitted, as my sister perked up. My mother smiled cautiously. "Well, have fun, but be careful," she admonished. "You've finished your homework?" "Of course," I replied. Most of it, anyway. There was time to finish the rest later that evening. After that, I hurried to the station, reaching the meeting point with a comfortable five minutes to spare-- "You are _late_!" Suzumiya declared, pointing at me imperiously as I slowed, realizing the others had beaten me there. "_Penalty_!" ...or so I had thought. I stared in mystified silence for a heartbeat, before raising my watch to my ear. Suzumiya raised her eyebrows as I listened to the careful tick, then shook my head. The train station had a giant clock before it, and _it_ seemed to suggest I was at the very least on time, as well. In any case, I had already made an inadvertent show of confirming that my watch hadn't started running slow. "How do you figure that?" I wondered, scratching the back of my head. "The last one to arrive is late," she said, as though that explained everything. Giving a sharp shake of her head, she pointed to a nearby cafe. "As your penalty, you'll have to cover breakfast for everyone!" she announced, smirking at me. I stared, dumbstruck, unable to keep a look of utter dismay from my face. Her smile faded to a glower of annoyance. "Well?" she prompted, irritated. "I don't even ha-- That-- I didn't bring that much with me," I stuttered, too shaken to properly consider what I'd started to say until it was too late. She blinked, staring me up and down and she warmed up another angry retort. She started to bark something out and abruptly choked it back, eyes widening as she looked unexpectedly rattled, her gaze caught on my shoes for a moment before looking up and to one side. "I-- Naturally I was joking!" she coughed, sputtering for a moment before forcing a laugh that didn't match her scowl. "Hah-- Uh, like I said a few days ago, it's the leader's responsibility to watch out for her subordinates! "That means it's all on me -- as I'd planned from the beginning, of course! There is still a penalty, but you'll find out what that is later! Being teased like this is just for making us wait!" She laughed uneasily again, prompting Asahina-san to give her a curious, confused look. "Um, a joke?" the upperclassman wondered. "I-- I don't get--" "So, today we're going to search for mysterious things!" Suzumiya nearly exploded, jumping in place and thrusting a fist into the air. "We all have to make sure to keep our energy up, right?" ...it didn't take a genius to realize she'd figured out how little money my family had to work with. So, as embarrassing as it was ... thank you, Suzumiya, for that much. "But, I don't--" Asahina-san started before Suzumiya interrupted her once more. "A joke! A prank! You're supposed to laugh, Mikuru-chan! Maybe I should tickle you to help you be amused? It's just a pointless distraction before we sit down and focus!" she insisted. "N-now come on!" "Eeh!" Asahina-san yelped, clearly still bewildered. "Um, I mean, hahaha!" I had no idea how to take things, but was at least spared greater humiliation for the moment, thanks to Suzumiya's unexpected distraction. I couldn't really remember the last time I'd eaten out, so let myself be led along by the others as Suzumiya marched into the cafe. I supposed it had to be when my aunt and uncle were in town. They always wanted to treat my mother and her family well. It had been a while, though, hadn't it? When it was time for our orders, Suzumiya stared at her menu with a look of concentration such that I half expected it to burst into flame. She insisted, "I'll order last. Yuki, why don't you go first? And be sure to get enough to eat!" Seated in a square formation around a table of the same shape, Suzumiya was to my left, and Nagato directly across from me. I only then belatedly noticed that she was wearing her uniform, too. Well, at least I wouldn't stick out too much. Both Suzumiya and Asahina-san were wearing casual skirts and blouses -- a yellow top and earth-tone skirt for Suzumiya, and a billowing light blue matching skirt and top for Asahina-san. Nagato quietly ordered a bowl of porridge, while Asahina-san hedged for a moment and then decided on French toast. I wasn't used to the menu, but already knew my answer. "I didn't know about this, so ate before arriving," I said with a shrug. "Would just coffee be alright?" "Not a problem!" the waitress chirped at me, nodding. Suzumiya looked as though she was about to protest, but bit back whatever she was going to say. "I'm not that hungry yet, so just coffee for me, as well," she decided. "Okay, then!" the waitress called, nodding before she hustled off to place our orders. "Um ... thanks for the coffee," I said quietly. "Oh, yes! Thank you for covering us," Asahina-san agreed sweetly. "That's very considerate of you, Suzumiya-san!" "Thank you," Nagato echoed very softly. "I...it's nothing," Suzumiya insisted, shaking her head sharply. "Like I said -- the leader's responsibility!" Then, even though I was dreading it, I asked, "What's my penalty?" "Worry about that later," Suzumiya grumbled, looking away. * * * After a subdued meal.... Well, it was really only half a meal, since Suzumiya and I only took coffee.... At any rate, once it was done and Suzumiya settled the check, we walked outside, where she pulled some lengths of red yarn from her shoulder-bag. With great flair, she tucked them into a fist with just half of the ends protruding. We drew them in order, both Nagato and I grabbing short lengths, and Asahina- san a longer length. "There we go," Suzumiya declared, showing Asahina-san a matching length. "Alright! Yuki, Kyon, you'll be the western team. You're to scout out to the west and see if you find anything mysterious! Mikuru-chan and I will scour the east! Try to find something good!" "Understood," Nagato answered in her quiet monotone. "You got it," I mumbled, not much louder. We turned about and plodded away before Suzumiya could add anything else. How perceptive _was_ the quiet girl, anyway? Had she figured out what Suzumiya obviously had? Did she care? Then again -- for all I knew, she was in the same situation. Of course, wearing a school uniform instead of more casual clothes wasn't a strong indicator. Many high school students did it. Searching for some hint, I couldn't help trying to steal glances at her shoes. If they told me anything, it was that either she took much better care of them than I did, or our situations weren't that similar after all. So ... that part of blending in seemed to have failed. What should I have done about it? Stated things plainly? Tried to ask a few leading questions? I wasn't able to figure anything out quickly, but I knew for certain that I wasn't able to give Suzumiya's search the focus she'd demanded. Without any firmer route in mind, we detoured through a nearby park. When Nagato's silence became unnerving, I finally asked her, "Nagato-san, those books you read.... You like science-fiction?" "It is interesting," she answered quietly, without hesitation. I almost wasn't certain I heard her; her voice was barely louder than the breeze whispering through the trees surrounding us. Had she been waiting for me to speak? "I see! Do you read anything else?" "Yes." It was not the most lengthy answer I'd received. Feeling like I was faltering, trying to find some common ground, I offered, "I've really mostly only read history and school books, myself-- Uh, I'm a big fan of history books. Do you ... read many of those?" Tilting her head slightly to one side, her voice still barely louder than a whisper, she answered, "Many." "Do you ... have many favorites?" I tried. She shook her head slowly. "Best-seller list." Was that.... "Which library do you get your books from?" I asked. She blinked in response, slowing to a stop and tilting her head to one side curiously. "You ... buy your books?" I asked. She nodded in response, though as usual, the gesture was so tiny it was almost impossible to detect. "I-- I see! I like to read at the library when I can," I offered lamely. "There's ... one not far from here." There was another girl, in middle school, that I spent quite a bit of time there with, studying. Nagato stared at me, her expression betraying only the merest hints of curiosity. "Um, it's ... probably not what Suzumiya-san wants us to find, exactly, but if you've never seen one, I wouldn't mind showing you the way. It might be better than having to buy a new book--" I bit my tongue at that. Not in the metaphorical sense, but the literal one. Somehow, without saying anything at all, this girl could unnerve me, make blather things I'd usually try and be much more subtle about. Offering a lame chuckle, I ran one hand through my hair and amended, "If you want to check it out from the library first, or just read a few pages to see if it's worth buying, that may be convenient. Or perhaps if you're just looking for a quiet place to read and.... Is your family loud?" "I am alone," she answered quietly. What ... really? "No-- No parents or siblings?" I asked in surprise. "They reside elsewhere," she replied, her eyes closing for a moment before reopening. I was not handling things as well as I wished I was. "Well, let's ... see the library, then," I suggested weakly. She gave her tiny nod and followed me on feet like a ghosts', making no sound. Having her silently following me became unnerving by the time we reached the edge of the park. "You can walk at my side, Nagato-san," I offered. It would be better than me needing to look back every few steps to make sure she was still there. "You don't need to stay behind me." I paused as she regarded me with an unreadable expression. Thinking she might just be following because she wasn't certain where we were going, I gestured down the road. Without any further hesitation, she stepped to my side and regarded me expectantly. With that, she matched my speed perfectly, holding position without seeming effort. That struck me as far better. Somehow, being ahead of her made me feel uncomfortable ... not the least because even if Asahina-san hadn't realized what Suzumiya had, I didn't have any idea what Nagato's stance on things was. We reached the library shortly, and Nagato blinked several times, trying to absorb it all once we stepped through the doors. She hadn't been kidding, she really _had_ never seen one before! She wandered about lightly on her toes, like a spirit drawn to the printed world, abandoning her earthly cares to drift from shelf to shelf. I had to smile a little bit. For all that she seemed distant, it was clear that she was at home -- in her element here. As tempting as it was to join her and get lost in my favorite subject, I followed her for a bit before explaining softly, "You can check books out, here. They'll let you borrow them for a while, and once you return them you can get more. If you've never been, do you know about getting a library card?" She shook her head a tiny distance, already holding a pair of books. "No," she said in a voice that no one would ever complain about in a library. "Well ... I can show you how to get one set up," I offered. "We can fill out the paperwork and then you can come back once you've brought enough for the fee." Her eyes blinked, and I realized I'd made another slip. She probably had enough for the fee already. I'd gotten enough for a card for my birthday, once. That had been a real asset during my last year of middle school, but had lapsed months ago. If I'd _thought_ about it, I could have brought some of my dwindling Golden Week savings along with me. That would have been a worthwhile expense. Well, they say hindsight is perfect, more or less, don't they? When she said nothing, I led her to the forms and showed her how to fill them out. She hesitated halfway though, but instead of being uncertain or asking me for clarification -- not that she had any questions -- she simply took another blank form and presented it to me. "You want me to fill one out as well?" I asked, confused. She gave her tiny nod and stared at me expectantly. Well, why wouldn't I? Filling out the forms didn't mean I needed to turn them in. Once we finished with that and I showed her to the librarian's desk up front, she took my form before I could protest. "Both of these?" the matronly woman asked, glancing between us, smiling softly at a normal pair of uniformed students. "Yes," Nagato softly answered. "Ah, I'll-- I'll pay you back tomorrow," I said with a wince, ducking my head at Nagato's generosity. She shook her head in her almost unobservable denial and announced, "Literature club fund expense." ...I had no counter argument for that. "Very diligent!" the woman behind the counter remarked, smiling as she printed our cards out and handed them over, then took payment from Nagato and handed the change over. While belated, I managed to ask, "Is that okay? Especially if Suzumiya-san wants us to be in a different club?" Meeting my eyes, I thought I could detect the faintest hints of a smile in her gaze, though her facial expression didn't seem to change one whit. "It is fine," she said in a quiet whisper, extending the card she had gotten for me. "I.... Thank you, Nagato-san," I answered, bowing deeply and accepting it with both hands, the way a businessman might accept an exchanged card. Looking very faintly satisfied with herself, Nagato then wandered back to the bookshelves. After checking my watch to ensure we weren't going to be late -- I certainly didn't want to risk another penalty -- I decided to trail after and see what kinds of books might interest her. * * * Unexpectedly, Suzumiya and Asahina-san were the ones who were late. Nagato and I had arrived with about twenty minutes to spare to avoid penalties. I'd talked her out of checking out the maximum of ten books, down to a mere two, since we hadn't brought bags with us. When she approached, Asahina-san trailing behind her and smiling pleasantly, Suzumiya eyed our books doubtfully. I'd only gotten one, but my hope was that it would appease our club founder. "Well," Suzumiya said abruptly once she drew within speaking range, "you weren't late. So, what's with those?" She pointed at our books suspiciously. I held up my copy of Carl Sagan's, 'Communication With Extraterrestrial Intelligence.' Suzumiya's scowl faded a bit. "I don't think you quite understood what we were supposed to be looking for," she grumbled. "Sorry ... Nagato-san had never been to a library before, and without any better clues, I thought it might be good to get something that would help with our radio telescope project," I offered, shrugging before holding the book out. "Really," Suzumiya drawled, before straightening up. "Okay-- This was your doing, Kyon, not Yuki's. Am I right?" I wasn't looking forward to what was going to happen next, but after the kindness Nagato had shown me, I wasn't about to let her take the blame. "I just said as much, didn't I?" Suzumiya heaved a dramatic sigh, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Alright," she announced tiredly. "We obviously need a one-on-one discussion about the goal of this exercise. Mikuru-chan, Yuki, we're going to split up for lunch. Kyon, you're coming with me." "Ah?" Asahina-san started, blinking. "But, I...." She trailed off as Suzumiya grabbed my wrist with surprising strength and dragged me after her -- right into the same cafe we were at earlier. Nagato merely watched curiously, not even rising from her seat on the stone bench we'd been waiting at before the station. I tried to protest, "Suzumiya-san--" "Save it," she snapped tersely, leading me to a seat at another table, then crossing her arms over her chest and dropping into her own, directly across from me. "The library ... _really_, now, Kyon! You were supposed to search for something mysterious, not hide inside. What kind of alien's going to be poking around all those books?" She had a good point. I couldn't imagine that kind of alien myself, as much as I would have liked to. "It-- I tried to," I said, frowning. "You didn't--" "Hold that thought," she commanded as the waitress approached. Turning to her, in a softer voice, she said, "If it's not any trouble, we'll each have the katsu donburi and green tea, thanks," before returning her attention to me. "What's done is done, and you've gotten it anyway, so tell me about this book!" The waitress nodded, beaming me a smile and tucking a strand of her green hair behind her ear before retreating faster than I could protest. "Where to even begin," I mumbled. I couldn't afford that.... Hadn't Suzumiya figured that out, already? "At the beginning, unless you know a better place!" she answered unhesitatingly. "You think it's got useful clues in it?" "I'll let you judge," I sighed, not quite sure what else to do, but offering the book out again. She accepted the volume, leafing through a few pages eagerly. "This looks interesting!" she declared quickly. "Alright, I won't give you an additional penalty beyond this lecture, then," she finally determined. "This is ... not that bad. But I could have gone to the library to find this myself! So I expect you to read this very carefully, and learn as much as you can about how this will help us." Her food was brought to the table by our smiling waitress, who set a steaming bowl of donburi and a cup of tea before each of us without hesitation. Suzumiya scowled when I only stared at the cutlet over rice before me. "If it's a penalty, you don't get to choose your own order," she said in a warning tone, before I found anything to say. I supposed ... there was nothing else to do but accept it. "Thanks," I said quietly. "A...anyway," she continued, coughing, "I want you to read it carefully and take good notes-- I may even test you on it later! Understand?" Somehow, I couldn't be entirely surprised by that reaction. Well, it _was_ my offering for 'something amazing' on the mystery search. "Understood," I agreed. Nodding in satisfaction, she separated her wooden chopsticks and gestured for me to do the same. "Don't take forever," she admonished, though in a softer tone. "Yuki and Mikuru-chan will be waiting on us, after all." "Alright, then." I ... couldn't think of anything else to say in such an uneven situation. She seemed enthusiastic about the find, even if it had been something of a cop-out. Well, there was one possibility. "So, this book," I tried, while she sampled the first bite. "You think it will be useful?" "It better be," she said, raising her eyebrows. "You're going to be taking notes and learning from it, after all -- this is by the same person who helped found SETI! Naturally, we can't neglect investigating time travelers, spirits, or anything else worthwhile, but this is valuable insight!" "Alright, alright," I sighed, glad that the cloud of awkwardness hanging over us seemed to have lifted. "Did you find anything good?" I finally allowed myself to take a bite of the fare before me while waiting for her reply, since she'd already started on hers. It was ... really good, actually, and almost hot enough to burn my tongue. "Ah," she answered, perking up further. "Well, nothing _really_ amazing -- but there's a park where I found a spot to set up our radio telescope, once we get a dish! It could be a good place to hunt for spirits, too! Who knows, just yet?" "How are we going to move the dish around, anyway? Or properly aim it?" "One thing at a time," she said, her enthusiasm restored. Waggling a fingertip at me, she chided, "You may be doubtful, but as long as you keep an open mind to learn from books like this, you still have a chance!" "You know, Carl Sagan is skeptical of UFOs and alien visitations, too," I countered, recalling what I'd read elsewhere. "And yet, he wrote this!" Suzumiya declared, thumping the closed book on the table before her. "Don't close your mind to the possibilities, even if you _are_ a skeptic! Just because the dumber and less likely stories probably aren't real doesn't mean that none of them are! You have to learn from this to spot the more reliable signs and clues!" "Alright," I agreed, managing a small smile. Suzumiya favored me with a surprisingly dazzling smile of her own at that, her eyes glowing with enough energy I suspected those same aliens could probably sense it from wherever they might be hiding. "Good! Now hurry up -- once you're done, you'll race back to the meeting spot! I'll take care of things here, and our team won't be late to return again!" "You didn't tell Asahina-san or Nagato-san that there was a time limit!" I protested, even as I complied. My mother was not a terrible cook, but this was at least as good as her cooking, and probably better. "Last one to return is still late," she insisted, gulping down her tea. * * * There wasn't much point to Suzumiya sending me out to wait at our chosen location for rendezvous. Without being warned about the urgency to return, Asahina-san and Nagato took a bit to show up. While waiting, Suzumiya flipped impatiently through the book I checked out. Perhaps I should have grabbed Nakagami Neji's 'The Sea of Withered Trees' as well. Certainly, Nagato had made me start thinking that it would be good to branch out from just history books! Once the pair came into sight, rounding the corner, Suzumiya's sharp eyes spotted them and she popped instantly to her feet, thrusting the book back toward me. I realized I should have brought a bag. If there was anything to find, I'd want a convenient way to carry it, wouldn't I? Well, that was hindsight for you. "Late," Suzumiya barked, once they were in earshot, fixing them with a menacing grin. "For shame.... Well -- that means last choice for you, then!" Suzumiya wasted no time pulling the strings she had used earlier from her bag and putting them in her fist again -- this time letting me have the first draw. Once again, I got a short string. Suzumiya pulled a long string, next, giving it a curious look. "Mikuru-chan next," she decided, presenting the strings for the wide-eyed older girl. The pleasant-mannered upperclassman pulled a short string, matching mine, and Suzumiya made a face, showing Nagato the other matched string before collecting them and stowing them in her bag again. "Alright -- this time, Yuki and I will check north, and Kyon and Mikuru-chan will check south," she ordered. "We're going to be searching, so keep your eyes peeled, Yuki! And Kyon, no hiding indoors from your assignment, alright? No window-shopping, either! Signs of aliens, ghosts -- try and find _something_, understand?" "Okay!" Asahina-san agreed. Less enthusiastically, I nodded my own confirmation to Suzumiya's orders. I owed her at this point, didn't I? The pair of us walked down the road headed away from the station. "Did you have a good lunch, Asahina-san?" I asked, trying to start a conversation, or maybe just engage in small-talk. "Oh, yes -- Nagato-san and I found an okonomiyaki-ya," she agreed, favoring me with a pleasant smile. "It was good! I hadn't had it before!" "That's nice. I didn't know there was a place like that around here." "Ah, and how about you?" she asked, tilting her head to one side. "Did you have a good lunch?" "Um, we had katsu donburi," I answered honestly. "It was pretty good." "That seems like a nice cafe ... I wouldn't mind meeting there once in a while, but I'm glad Suzumiya was generous enough to cover it for us!" Asahina- san said with a giggle. I had to look away. If Asahina-san was saying what I thought ... then that was quite subtle. As we walked past a convenience store, I tried to change the subject. "I'm still a bit confused about something from earlier in the week, Asahina-san. Can I ask you about it?" "Oh, well, maybe," she allowed, her smile fading a bit. I suspected I already knew how she would answer, but when we paused to wait for a crosswalk, I asked, "What ... happened that day? With the photographs?" "Ah," Asahina-san said with a wince, looking away. "Um.... I should say something about that, shouldn't I?" "If you don't want to, you don't have to," I answered quickly, as the light changed and we moved forward together. This was not how I had imagined walking alone with Asahina-san to be. Though, I couldn't imagine doing much more than walking with such a refined, cultured young lady! I'm sure her family was very protective of her, so getting closer than we were already simply wasn't conceivable. I still had the hope that we could be friends. "I should say something, though," Asahina-san said slowly. "Even if ... I would be happier pretending ... that certain thing hadn't happened...." She suddenly darted forward a few steps to stand in front of me, then stopped and turned to face me. "But there is something I have to say anyway!" I froze, not quite expecting that. What could it be? "Kyon-kun, thank you for talking to Suzumiya-san, and also for being so reasonable!" she exclaimed, clasping her hands together before her. "She ... can be a bit scary, but as long as Kyon-kun is there, then I know it will be fine! Things won't get out of hand, and...." She trailed off, pink tingeing her cheeks. "Ah, what I mean to say is, I'm impressed and happy that you were able to talk to her so easily.... I don't, um, like fighting or arguments, but that didn't happen, so I feel that things will be okay! Suzumiya-san is ... interesting. R...really, with her energy, and your calm, this might even be fun!" That was a lot to take in. A few of the people wandering the streets gave us sidelong glances, and I had to nervously scratch the back of my neck at that flattery. "That's ... very kind of you," I finally managed. "Um, are you sure it's okay to just leave things like that?" "Suzumiya-san gave her word, and I don't think she will go back on that," Asahina-san returned earnestly. "So with Kyon-kun and Suzumiya-san, I believe it will be okay!" That was actually very reassuring to hear! "What about Nagato-san?" I wondered. "Ah, I don't...." Asahina-san's eyes darted away and her face colored. "Nagato-san is very quiet. It's...." She hedged a moment, then sighed, slumping slightly. I once again got the impression of a child who was trying to lie, but realized it was pointless and had just given up -- she seemed relieved a slight bit that she could be more honest as she said, "She's a little ... scary, because of how quiet she is." I couldn't tell her I thought otherwise. "I know," I agreed, surprising her, then shaking my head, gesturing behind her, down the street. "But I don't think that anyone should be judged based on their exterior, if they can help it. There's always something behind that mask; not everyone can be perfectly open. And from what I've seen, Nagato-san is a good person, well worth knowing." "I...is that so?" Asahina-san asked cautiously, falling into step beside me as we continued walking. "I believe it," I said, nodding. "Okay," Asahina-san said with determination, fixing her cute features in a mask of resolve as she nodded. "Then I will be patient with her! I know I can trust you, and so...." Well.... That was flattering, but starting to drift toward dangerous territory. I really knew better -- I had to avoid getting _too_ close to someone as pleasant and refined as Asahina-san. All it would take is one person digging too deeply into.... Changing the subject, I asked, "What do you think about Suzumiya-san's plan to find ... time travelers and other things like that?" I was about to say 'aliens' again, but we'd been going over that topic rather a lot already. Asahina-san faltered a bit, and managed a weak smile. "I ... think if she sets her mind to it, she could probably find such people ... if they were real," she said hesitantly. "Um, but who's to say?" "Well, that's our mission for today." I shook my head and put my hands in my pockets, looking up at the sky. "While it would undoubtedly make her happy if I could come back to meet her with a time traveler, I wouldn't even know where to begin searching for them. What do you think? How would we watch for time travelers, Asahina-san?" For some reason, the question had made her very nervous. Perhaps she didn't like thinking about paranormal and supernatural things? "I-- I would think ... that a time traveler would look just like anyone else, if they could help it," she said uneasily. "Um ... if they were doing their jobs right ... wouldn't no one be able to tell them apart from the people around them?" I chuckled at that thought. It was an insightful answer, so perhaps not fightened after all. "I suppose," I admitted. "It might not be true for aliens, but time travelers should look just like us, right? For all I know, you could be one!" "Eh, hehe," Asahina-san eked out, forcing the laugh and looking even paler than before. Well, that was no good. "What's wrong?" I asked, as we stopped at another crosswalk. "I...it," Asahina-san started, looking troubled. "W...well, if...." I had a sudden insight, and offered what I hoped was a reassuring smile. "Ah-- You're thinking I would play a joke and tell Suzumiya-san that you really _are_ a time traveler?" I asked. "Eee!" she squeaked, prompting some of the others waiting with us to glance at her. "I-- I wouldn't want her to be told that!" she said, aghast. "Of course," I agreed. "You would rather she accepted you as you are, for who you are, not something silly like that. Am I right?" Asahina-san stared at me with widening eyes, pausing so long that the light changed. We both stood there, while I waited for her to recover herself, even when the small group of people waiting at the intersection with us crossed the street, and the lights changed again. "R...really," she said slowly, finally ducking her head and staring at her feet, "that's true. Almost more than anything I'd like to be friends with Suzumiya-san! If it was because of who I was and not ... being a time- traveler, then that would be even better!" "Then I promise I won't joke about that again," I swore solemnly. "I'm sorry, Asahina-san." "I-- Thank you, Kyon-kun," she said, shaking her head and offering me a smile almost on par with the one I'd gotten from Suzumiya earlier. She still seemed a bit troubled ... but more, earnestly happy about things. She giggled suddenly, shaking her head. "Suzumiya-san said we should be searching for something though, right? We'd probably best do as she instructed!" "Alright, then. What shall we look for?" "Ah.... I couldn't even say where to begin," she said apologetically, biting her lip in consternation as the light changed again and we started to cross the street. We'd gone far enough to reach another of the city's parks -- something I liked about the city -- so I suggested, "Why not walk in the park and keep an eye out for anything unusual for Suzumiya-san, then?" "That sounds fine by me!" Asahina-san agreed brightly. * * * Walking in the park with Asahina-san was a remarkably pleasant way to spend the afternoon, all things considered. This particular park happened to have a good number of flower beds, and I was impressed at how well versed she was in their names -- and the meanings of them if they were presented as gifts. As we walked back to the assigned meeting point, the afternoon sun was still high in the sky. We were early, but hopefully not too early. The same train station we'd been meeting at was just before us, and I could see no sign of Suzumiya or Nagato. Still walking next to Asahina-san, I complimented her, "You must study flowers quite a bit!" "I-- It's something I like," she said with a smile. "Um ... I was instructed, er.... I was given some basics before I came to Kitago, so I've kept my studies up, trying to learn more about, um, current botany!" "Plants?" Suzumiya asked suddenly, popping out of the crowd from seemingly nowhere, Nagato trailing behind her, still clutching the books she had picked up from the library. "Is that what you looked for?" "It's not like that," I said quickly, when Asahina-san hopped into the air a short distance in fright, landing unsteadily with wide eyes. Suzumiya's eyes locked onto me. "Really?" she drawled. "Well -- okay, it started out that way," I admitted, shrugging. "But I had a thought on that. What if alien life is different from what most people imagine?" "What, alien _plants_?" Suzumiya asked, furrowing her brow. "It could be!" I agreed. "Huh," Suzumiya allowed, her ire fading to a thoughtful look. "That's a thought! If we can imagine man-eating plants, then why not intelligent ones? Alright -- did you find anything?" "N...not really," Asahina-san admitted, wincing. Suzumiya grimaced. "I see," she sighed. "Well, neither did we. That'll have to do for now, since this was a preliminary search. Next time, we'll find more members, so we can cast a wider net!" I had to be impressed with her confidence that there was something to be found so easily. As tempting as it was to point out that something truly odd should have been found by that point, if it were there to be discovered so easily, I just made a thoughtful noise and allowed, "Maybe." At the time, I owed her too much to try and crash down on her enthusiasm. Aside from which, knowing about Suzumiya's energy, she'd probably insist that no one else had ever looked hard enough, and it really _was_ there. "Okay," Suzumiya said, shaking her head. "Mikuru-chan, Yuki, good work -- you're dismissed for the day." "And I'm not?" I asked, raising my eyebrows. "Nope," she answered immediately, unslinging her bag from her shoulder and tossing it at me. It hit me in the chest, heavier than it looked, and I just managed to grab the strap before dropping it. "Hey, be careful throwing things around like that," I said irritably. "You're fine," she said with a roll of her eyes, her attention turning to the others. "I'll see you two at school tomorrow -- for Kyon's penalty, he's carrying my bag for me. We're going to do one last check on the way home to see if we find anything worthwhile. With that, you are dismissed!" "Ah, uh-- Okay! Goodbye, Suzumiya-san, Kyon-kun-- Goodbye, um, Nagato-san!" Asahina-san yelped, as though afraid to stay longer once Suzumiya had given her release. Nagato quietly nodded, saying nothing. The two of them then headed away in different directions, leaving the pair of us alone. I sighed and shifted my grip on Suzumiya's bag, which I was suddenly glad wasn't terribly feminine in design. That would be embarrassing. "How long is this going to take?" I asked, thinking of dinner at home, and my unfinished homework. "Just come along," she said quietly, gesturing for me to follow. I bit back a sigh and fell into step behind her as she led the way. "Where are we going?" I wondered aloud. "Home," she said stiffly. What was wrong? Was she just upset that we hadn't found anything? I couldn't think of what to say or ask, and evidently carrying her bag was my penalty, so I could hardly protest. But I had a sense that there was something else she had singled me out for. I couldn't imagine what it was, but I could see the tension in her back just fine as she stalked through the streets toward, evidently, her home. The sun slowly shifted through the skies, and my feet started to hurt a little before her pace slowed. We had wandered from downtown and into a residential district, her pace slowing when we reached a school. East Middle School, in point of fact. Hadn't she mentioned that it was her old middle school? Before the gate, she finally came to a halt, staring through the bars at the field beyond. There was an aura of palpable melancholy about her as she took another step forward, close enough to grip one of the bars in her right hand. For all of her strength, she didn't even try and open the gate, which I was certain had to be locked-- It would have been easier to climb, if that were her goal. I did recall one of Taniguchi's unsolicited stories -- that Suzumiya had drawn a symbol on the lawn of the school at the start of middle school. "Let me tell you something," she said quietly. She didn't even look back to see if I was paying attention, but her intensity was enough I stood up straight anyway. "Now, listen close." Well, my attention is yours, Suzumiya-san.... "Do you know ... what it's like to feel unimportant?" It was a feeling I was very comfortable with, actually. Ignored is better than overly scrutinized, to me. I could only guess she felt very different. "This isn't about simply not being involved in some thing or another," she continued, her head bowing slightly. "It's the sensation that you, no matter what you do, don't actually _matter_, because there are so many other people that you can't possibly be significant in comparison to them." That was the kind of thing I tried not to dwell on, particularly. Such philosophical ramblings had a tendency to depress me, so I tried to focus on the more positive aspects of them. But I couldn't say anything before she finished her point, so I merely said, "Of course." Her head rose again, though from the back, I couldn't see her face. "This is why I _have_ to find something," she said quietly, her voice holding the slightest quaver. "When I finished elementary school, as a reward, my father took me to see the Tigers play." She paused, undoubtedly realizing that this was the kind of thing I wouldn't have gotten to do. Sighing softly, she pressed on. "When we got there, in the high bleachers, I was able to see the entire stadium. It was almost full ... and I could see the people.... So many people. They were packed in so densely it was hard to make sense of them. More than you could count, even by staring -- they were like grains of rice, wriggling around, waving pennants and baseball caps to cheer the Tigers on...." She took a deep breath. We did watch baseball games on Sundays, sometimes. If I had been home instead of out with her, I might have watched another one that day. I'd seen stadium shots occasionally, showing the crowds. It had never really had that effect on me, but I tried to imagine what it must have looked like to her. "When we got back home," she continued, her voice brisk, "I asked my father, 'how many people were there?' After all, I had thought that the entire population of Japan must have shown up!" I bit back a remark that I knew I hadn't been there. I knew that wasn't her point. "He told me, 'the stadium has a capacity of fifty five thousand people!' So that night, I did some math. The population the previous year was recorded as one hundred ten million, one hundred sixty two thousand!" The fact that she remembered the numbers that well told me how important this had to be to her. "That meant that the population of Japan was at least _two thousand_ times the number of people I saw that day! So that meant, when I thought about the people in my classroom -- who until that day I had thought were the most amazing, interesting people in the world -- how were they significant? How could _I_ be significant? "Against that number, and the even greater population of the Earth ... there had to be _truly_ amazing and significant people! And that's why.... That is why I have to find them!" It took some effort to process what she was saying. I had always known in an abstract sense that the number of people in the world was a vast number, but the way she put it ... I could see how humbling it would be. Drops in the bucket! Grains of sand on the beach! If I were younger, and more impressionable.... But, no. I couldn't perfectly see it from her point of view. I thought I could understand, a little, but given the chance, I'd happily be just another insignificant grain among the many. "After that," she continued more softly. "I felt like everything had become duller. My mother's cooking was bland ... the colors of the leaves seemed less intense. The people who I had thought were amazing and special were just like everyone else -- boring beyond belief. "And because of that, if _I_ can't be one of those special, amazing people out there ... I will never give up searching! And I don't want _you_ to give up searching, either! Understand?" She finally turned to face me, releasing the gate from where she had been gripping it. I could see her eyes glistening with unshed moisture, and had to look away. What ... was there to say to that? Words tumbled from my lips before I could call them back. "I see...." I knew, in an abstract sense what I should have said -- or better, _done_. But I knew what kind of grain of sand I was in that bucket. I knew where it would eventually lead, and what I might have to expect if I crossed bounds that I shouldn't have. I really could understand how it had shaken her ... but I wasn't able to find the right words. Before the silence grew too much, she took her bag from my hands and quietly said, "You're dismissed for today, too," and marched down the street. As the wind picked up from behind me, rushing down the street and ruffling the hair of the girl I watched walk away, more words I hadn't intended slipped from my mouth. "I wouldn't mind being less significant." My volume might have rivaled Nagato's at that point, and with the breeze I hoped she hadn't heard me. Her step faltered for the briefest moment, as though she were going to turn.... But in the end, it seemed it was just the wind after all, and she continued without pause, as inevitable as the flow of time, and unchangeable as the course of history. I felt like I should have tried to chase after her and offer ... something. I couldn't, though, and even though she was walking the same direction I had to go, I just watched until she was out of sight. "I'm sorry, Suzumiya-san," I said, even though it was too late, and too little. Even if it was only a tiny bit, I could feel her melancholy. Heaving a sigh, I wearily began my own trudge home. * * * After arriving home later than I wanted, and rushing to complete the homework I had delayed on, I found myself unable to sleep. With nothing better to do, I read the book -- Suzumiya's assignment to me. I got a few chapters in before exhaustion finally overtook me. Thanks to that, I was sluggish to wake. My younger sister was eager to help, and shook me in time with the ringing of my alarm. I sat up and finally shooed her off, once she was convinced I wasn't going to go back to sleep. The sense of weariness bore down from the time I wound my alarm clock back up, until I had climbed the energy-sapping hill -- and discovered something that snapped me out of my grogginess. Someone had left a note in my shoe locker. Not sure how else to handle it, the moment I overcame my shock at seeing it sitting neatly atop my indoor shoes, I stuffed it into my uniform blazer. After changing shoes, I immediately set out to the nearest bathroom and hid in a stall to read it. It was neatly written in a feminine hand, and politely asked if I would meet the sender in my own classroom. My heart-rate settled a bit, though I was still mystified. Who could have sent me this note? Suzumiya would simply _ask_ if she wanted my attention. Or not ask, and merely demand -- but she wouldn't resort to a letter. I couldn't imagine Nagato being behind this. While it might have been Asahina-san, it didn't seem to fit her, and I was certain that she, of all people, would have signed a message. I didn't know what to make of it, ultimately. I couldn't just ignore it, though. Not knowing how else to deal with it, I resolved to respond to it after class and speak with ... whoever directly. But what did they even want to talk to me about? Suzumiya was in the classroom when I finally entered, staring out the window when I entered. I supposed that spared me her sharp-eyed gaze somehow seeing through me and asking why I was bothered. Hopefully it was something harmless.... "We still need to find a fifth person," Suzumiya groused, not looking toward me, or even saying 'hello'. "Did you have someone in mind?" I wondered, having forgotten about that detail entirely. "It would be perfect if someone transfered in unexpectedly," she declared, nodding. "Within the next few days. Someone mysterious! Someone...." She pursed her lips and turned to look at me. "Who would _you_ want to join the club?" What kind of question was that? "From someone we know? Or someone we've never met before?" "Hmm, well, if you knew someone worth inviting, you'd have mentioned them already -- so the ideal person," she explained. "I hadn't thought of it," I admitted. "Someone who could get along with everyone and give us information on something we don't already have, I suppose." She shook her head. "Did you finish the book?" she asked, changing the subject before I could give it further thought. "No, just a few chapters," I admitted. "It's got some interesting, but complicated stuff in it." She was already staring out the window again. "Good," she said absently. "We can discuss it during the club meeting today." Was she just planning to wait for her 'mysterious transfer student' to suddenly arrive? I shook my head as Okabe-sensei entered the room. * * * Considering how I'd spent Sunday, the day was comfortably normal, until lunch. As usual, Suzumiya was off like a shot, zipping through the door like an ascending rocket in search of space. She had mentioned to me once that she was checking the school for unusual things, so presumably it was more of the same. As had become habit, Kunikida and Taniguchi took seats near mine, joining me for lunch as we opened our bentos. "So," Taniguchi began conversationally, looking moody and as though he were trying to be happy about it. I supposed the look might have been called 'resigned'? "You were dating Asahina-san on Sunday, huh?" I managed not to choke on my steamed vegetables, and just stared at him, unblinking. Kunikida's expression became curious, and he asked, "What leads you to that conclusion?" Taniguchi shrugged, hands spread in an exaggerated gesture. "What else can someone think when they see a person they call a friend dating none other than the second year's idol -- the adorable, the lovely, the amazing Asahina-san! You'd be hard pressed to find a more popular girl in the entire school!" Well, I had known she was good looking, well-mannered, and in many senses an ideal example of a girl-- The only person I could think of who came close was Asakura Ryouko, and I had to put Asahina-san above the class rep. Her manner was softer, and while both seemed traditional.... Of course, both of them were probably from upright, well-to-do families. "There's nothing to be jealous of on that front," I answered dryly, taking a moment to compose my response. "While Asahina-san may be an idol, and I have no complaints about her, we were merely walking together in Suzumiya-san's club. It was by coincidence that you saw us together. If you'd been elsewhere, you might have seen me walking with Nagato-san earlier, and Suzumiya-san later." Taniguchi's eyebrows rose. "Oh?" he wondered. "Say -- I don't suppose that means I could have a date with Asahina-san too, if I joined that club? It would be dealing with Suzumiya, but it could be worth it!" "Oh, my, that doesn't sound very proper," Asakura Ryouko chided us suddenly, unexpectedly joining the conversation. Taniguchi perked up slightly, distracted from me by the class rep's presence. "What's this club about that you're spending so much time alone with different girls, Kyon-kun?" she wondered, touching a fingertip to her lower lip, her expression creased with thoughtful concern. "Ah, you didn't see the fliers that she and Asahina-san were handing out, class rep Asakura?" Kunikida asked, smiling softly. "They were quite fantastic!" I elected to quietly eat my vegetables and not remark that I'd helped churn those fliers out. "It's not anything that goes against our regulations or policies, is it?" she wondered. Taniguchi snorted, shaking his head. "I doubt it," he answered around a mouthful of his rice. Swallowing, he continued, "Just pointless Suzumiya stuff -- looking for aliens, evidence of ghosts, saying she's running some agency to solve mysteries and so on." "I doubt that would be 'improper' in most senses," Kunikida agreed. "Fantastic, perhaps, but Kyon isn't one to do improper things from what I know of him!" I had to take some small consolation in that, and inclined my head to my classmate from middle school in gratitude for the compliment. "Hmm," Asakura Ryouko mused, looking suddenly very intently thoughtful. "Is that so?" Not wanting to bring attention to myself more than necessary, I merely shrugged. For reasons I could not understand at the time, Asakura Ryouko's lips twisted in a smile. While it entranced Taniguchi, and even Kunikida smiled back, it felt to me a bit _too_ happy. "I see," she said, giggling. "Well! I'll leave you alone to enjoy your lunch then, boys." "You can join us," Taniguchi said quickly, gesturing to the nearest empty seat. Asakura Ryouko shook her head a slight distance and answered, "I'll have to decline, but thank you for the offer anyway." With that, she walked away, while Taniguchi sighed, and Kunikida offered an amused shrug. * * * The club meeting that afternoon was subdued and relaxed. Pleasant company, all told. I didn't know where Suzumiya had found it, but she'd put an electric kettle in, and spent the first half of the club meeting teaching Asahina-san how to use it to make tea. The upperclassman surprised me by not actually knowing how to do it ... but I had to admit, there were some nuances to the process I didn't know myself. Once she learned how, the upperclassman eagerly parceled out hot tea to everyone in their own cups-- Suzumiya had assembled a collection of five, though there were only four of us. A somewhat unlucky number. I couldn't help but note that each of the cups was remarkably different, but couldn't complain about the one that I was given -- an older ceramic handmade vessel, in the wabi-sabi style. It wasn't an old piece, from what I could tell, just something she had dragged up from a box of old things somewhere in her home. I, for one, appreciated the aesthetic of 'imperfect beauty' that the style carried with it. Asahina-san sat down to join us at the clubroom's table after she'd prepared it, Suzumiya looking particularly proud of imparting the instruction to her. "Now, Mikuru-chan, what do you think about taking the responsibility within the club for making tea every day?" she asked. "Oh, I wouldn't mind!" the older girl answered without hesitation. After beaming a smile, she looked thoughtful, tilting her head back and gazing at the ceiling. "Though, I wonder if I'll be any good at it?" "I think it's nice," I answered quickly. Even if Suzumiya were responsible for most of the work, she had done quite well for her first attempt! "Then what are your thoughts on a uniform befitting such a station?" Suzumiya answered excitedly. "I've been thinking that it would be fun~! Actually, if I were to bring it in, I might wear it myself!" I couldn't help but raise my eyebrows at this. "What did you have in mind?" I wondered. "If not the school uniform, anyway." "A cute girl serving tea? What could be more appropriate than a stewardess?" Suzumiya fired back, as though waiting for my question. "Think about it! Even aliens on an interstellar voyage would have to pause at seeing someone as cute as Mikuru-chan in the outfit of a stewardess!" "I don't really know what that looks like," Asahina-san admitted, smiling. "Um, but I ... suppose that wouldn't be a problem?" "How can you not know?" Suzumiya asked in surprise. "It's a very glamorous role! Very well -- I'm almost done making the outfit, so tomorrow I'll bring it in and you can try it on!" "Eh?" Asahina-san squeaked, her smile fading a bit. "H...here?" "Of course!" Suzumiya said, nodding firmly. "It's fine -- it's just us, for now. We'll close the curtains and Kyon will guard the door!" She punctuated her remark with a warning glance at me. Well.... "Of course," I agreed. "But, Suzumiya-san, if you're going to be wearing it as well, why not model it first, so she can see what it is?" For the merest heartbeat, Suzumiya looked irritated at the suggestion, before she brightened. "You know, that sounds fine!" she said happily. "Why wouldn't I? Of course-- You're still going to have to stand outside and guard the door while I change, though!" That ... seemed more than fair. "Of course, you'll be getting a bit of a treat, and don't have to dress up," Suzumiya mused quietly. "Well, perhaps as a penalty you would have to wear it!" My expression alone conveyed my thoughts on that, but she merely smirked in response. "Okay, I'll be headed out early to finish that, then," she decided, nodding. "In the meantime, you brought that book with you, right, Kyon?" "Yes," I allowed. She nodded and held out a hand expectantly. "You said you read the first few chapters, so let me borrow it. Tomorrow, I'll test you to make sure you've been paying attention!" My thought was that she'd better not get me a penalty on my brand new library card, but I bit my tongue and handed the book over. She flipped it into the air and caught it by the spine casually before stuffing it into her bag and nodding happily. "And with that, you're dismissed!" she declared, nodding brightly before heading out the door with a spring in her step, humming to herself. It took me a moment to place the tune as Davie Bowie's 'Starman,' but I realized I shouldn't really be surprised. Asahina-san beamed me a smile. "Would you like some more tea, Kyon-kun?" I did have some time before clubs officially let out and I could meet ... whoever had sent me that note wanted until then anyway, so why not? "If you don't mind," I said agreeably, glancing over to where Nagato seemed to be nestled in her own aura of contentment, holding a book in one hand, and her cup of tea in the other. Wasn't that a perfect day at the club? Everyone working together reasonably, and getting to enjoy company like that? I wished that my school life could continue like that forever. * * *