# Motivation

## Chapter Three

by Brian Randall

Naruto is the property of Masashi Kishimoto; these are his paints. The easel
is mine, but that is all. No disrespect is intended with the posting of this
story.

* * *

Shino found himself the first to arrive at the training ground for the morning
test. He had planned to come early, not knowing what the day would hold, but
thinking Shikamaru had most likely been correct. That thought in mind, he'd
spent the entire morning after waking preparing special kikaichu. It wasn't a
trick of their evolution, which would have been amazing, as much as he simply
slowed their development after the larval stage.

This caused them to be more sluggish, but have a lifespan of up to an entire
day after emerging, instead of the more typical lifespan of only a few hours.

Really, most of these bugs weren't going to be good for much but scattering,
waiting, and then reporting back later in the day.

Then again, that was all he needed them for. He turned his attention to the
remaining eggs that were in production, no longer suppressing their growth.
He'd need more alert kikaichu to practice, and there was only one more
probable site to leave kikaichu to scan. If they were the last ones to take
the test of some other sensei, then the bugs wouldn't have another team to
watch.

Naruto arrived next, nearly overshooting the training ground with an over-
enthusiastic bound before abruptly collapsing to Shino's feet with a desperate
gasp for breath. "Missed," he wheezed, "alarm," between pants, "hadda," still
trying to get enough air, "run."

Shino regarded his more energetic would-be teammate and adjusted his glasses.
From his position on the ground, Naruto gave a sheepish chuckle, already
mostly recovered. A minute after that, Kurenai strolled into the training
ground from a break in the trees -- Shino's kikaichu hadn't spread out enough
to catch her presence yet. Hmm. That balance of lifespan to energy might need
some consideration.

The kunoichi held a large cloth-wrapped box underneath one arm.

The orange-clad boy popped back to his feet, looking around curiously.
Pointing at the bundle, he asked, "What's that?"

"This is something for later," Kurenai deferred, shaking her head and patting
the box before setting it atop a training post.

"Oh, well, where's Shikamaru-kun?"

A stray kikaichu released a pheromone chain that alerted Shino's internal
kikaichu. "Here," he noted, pointing to a different break in the trees, as
Shikamaru entered the training ground from the forest.

"Yo," he said with a wave, his other hand tucked into his pocket. "Thought I'd
come in from the family land, since we were out this way. Am I late?"

Kurenai shook her head, giving the three a friendly smile. "You're all on time
-- and that's a great start! Okay, today, we're going to do a more in-depth
consideration of your skills and skill-range -- like we had yesterday, but
with some light combat exercises. Ready?"

"Yeah!" Naruto cheered eagerly, echoed by Shino's more reserved, "Yes," and
Shikamaru's tolerant, "Why not?"

Not seeing any reason to hold back, Shino demonstrated the full range of his
skills for Kurenai -- as did Shikamaru and Naruto. Shino created a kikaichu
clone, which was able to escape Shikamaru's shadow-bind. The shadow-bind
seemed to stop Naruto still -- provided Shikamaru got Naruto, not a bunshin.
And with enough bunshin, Naruto easily overwhelmed either of them.

The shorter boy nodded eagerly over the praise Kurenai gave him, and her
advice that finesse would carry him further than brute force. Not that
different from what Shikamaru and Shino had deduced themselves. Interestingly,
when Kurenai turned to address Shino and Shikamaru's own weak points, Naruto
pulled a notebook from one pocket and began scribbling furiously.

So far, his ability to articulate holes in Shino's own defense during practice
was fairly poor -- but he was more than willing to spare a bunshin or two to
demonstrate it. Was he trying to learn how to express his critiques better?

After Kurenai finished examining the genin, she explained that while she
approved, they would have to satisfy all three teachers' requirements to pass.
Her test ended up taking long enough that the three were treated to the sight
of Sasuke staggering into the clearing, a gasping Sakura heaving behind him,
and Ino stumbling from between the trees behind them to fall flat on her face
with a moan.

"Our sensei," Sasuke announced, shooting a dark look across the other trio,
"is trying to kill us." He looked down at his own outfit, completely covered
in mud, then glanced to Ino, no better off, and Sakura, absently pawing pine-
needles from her hair.

"We should be on our way to Asuma-sensei, then," Shikamaru noted, watching
Naruto look at Sakura with obvious worry.

Shino agreed, and then the three had to run one third of the way around Konoha
to their next meeting with a teacher. The next training ground was much like
the last, and their first introduction to the large, reserved looking man.

Now that he was aware of it, Shino glanced at Asuma's sash, seeing the color
and the symbol for 'fire' on it. Asuma raised an eyebrow at the trio as they
came to rest, Naruto recovering from the flat run most quickly. "Welcome," he
said, nodding at them. He finished the cigarette he was smoking and waved a
hand, the brand inexplicably vanishing.

Giving them all a discerning stare, he introduced himself, giving a short list
of his own traits -- as they had all practiced before.

They returned their own introductions, unchanged except for the omission of
Shino's ambition to some day join ANBU. That was something he trusted Naruto
and Shikamaru with; he hadn't told Kurenai, and he doubted he would tell
Kakashi, either.

After hearing them out, he lectured them at length about the code of Konoha --
especially the need to exemplify the virtues required for admission into the
academy. Naruto looked bored to the point of frustration, but kept his
complaints to an indistinct mutter while taking more notes. Asuma seemed
slightly amused by the behavior, and otherwise didn't remark on it.

After _that_ was a much _longer_ lecture about the Will of Fire. Asuma
expertly snared Naruto's flagging concentration by pointing out that in
Konoha's history, every Hokage to date had burned with the Will of Fire, as
should any true ninja of the hidden village.

Then came another surprisingly monotonous lecture about inner peace and
meditation, followed by a slightly more uplifting explanation of how it would
help them as ninja. Applications included resisting interrogation (with time,
Shino could have his kikaichu deaden his pain receptors -- and if required
kill him and devour his remains to prevent capture -- an unfortunate disaster
for any ninja who wanted to investigate _that_), awakening from sleep at
predetermined time (kikaichu could do that for him), increase awareness of the
surroundings (Shino monitored his kikaichu, continually reporting the various
pheromone feeds from around him, relaying all the information that his scouts
had gathered), and mental clarity.

Shino found enough time during the extensive idle discussions to produce
another generation of his longer-lived, slower kikaichu and cover the area --
though he suspected they would have nothing interesting to report. Very little
of what Asuma said was new to Shino, but he listened with half an ear and
nodded respectfully, amusing himself by inspecting individual kikaichu and
local insects for signs of mutation -- or any advantageous evolutions.

The genin were dismissed -- and told to get some lunch before meeting with the
last sensei for the day. Shikamaru's home was the designated fall-back
position, so they retreated there for lunch -- at the cost of another grocery
shopping 'mission'.

"So, we know that Bastard-sensei's going to give us hell," Naruto said, once
they'd made themselves comfortable, each seated atop a different training post
while while eating. "What are we going to do about it?"

"Endure," Shino answered.

Shikamaru grimaced, staring down at the tray on the ground, holding their
empty bowls and chopsticks. Crossing his arms over his chest, he said, "We can
expect him to be mean -- he's the 'bad-sensei', after all. Instead of giving
anything away, let's just play dumb -- see what his position is and what he
does."

Naruto gave a glum sigh, slumping slightly. "I wanted to kick his ass," he
grumbled.

"He will use that anger against you," Shino noted, adjusting his glasses
slightly.

"I can see this being a real pain," Shikamaru grumbled, uncrossing his arms
and lacing his fingers behind his head. "It's probably a lesson about real
ninja enduring, like Shino-kun thinks."

"I should try and keep my temper, then," Naruto said unhappily. "But he's
_such_ a _jerk_!"

"Then, try losing your temper anyway," Shino suggested.

Naruto looked confused, glancing to Shikamaru to see if he thought it was a
good idea.

"Maybe," Shikamaru allowed. "We could try and be smart -- get Naruto to henge
some of his bunshin as us, but I expect he'd punish us for being too clever.
Hmm. No, I don't really see a better solution than going in and seeing what he
wants."

"I don't think I'll ever forgive that guy if he makes it so we can't qualify,"
the orange-clad boy grumbled. "Back to the academy.... I don't want that!"

Shino frowned, considering what Naruto said.

Shikamaru made a thoughtful noise, then shook his head. "Don't let it go to
your head, but if they're doing all of this, I think they pretty much already
_have_ decided on us."

Nodding at the boy who had made the logical leap first, Shino added, "The
question remains as to why they have decided not to tell us."

"Wait, they already want us?" Naruto asked, surprised and confused. "But--
Yeah, why _did_ they choose not to tell us?"

"I'm not sure yet," the shadow-user admitted, shaking his head. "They would
think it was a good reason, obviously, but I don't know everything they do, so
who's to say?"

"At this stage, we must gather more information before we can act," Shino
noted, frowning thoughtfully behind the collar of his jacket. His kikaichu
would give _some_ extra information, once he went to collect them after
training was over, but he doubted they would learn much of use. "I agree with
Shikamaru-kun; we should not reveal our hand. Instead, we should enter the
encounter and pretend we know nothing."

"Reveal our hand?" Naruto asked worriedly, before shaking his head and
scribbling in his notebook again. "Alright -- how do we do that?"

"Easiest way?" Shikamaru asked, raising his eyebrows. "It'll hurt."

"I can do it," Naruto said stubbornly. "I can take hits!"

Shino had a suspicion he wasn't going to like what was to come.... But then,
if he couldn't get used to taking a few hits himself every so often, he wasn't
likely to last long as a ninja. He wondered if he'd spent too many kikaichu
already, realizing the new generation wouldn't be ready until after their next
test had begun.

"Alright -- then we walk into it thinking Kakashi's just a jerk, not some
deranged genius with a plan to make us stronger in ways we won't understand at
the time," Shikamaru decided. "Go ahead, lose your temper -- make sure your
taijutsu's really sloppy and out of control, so he thinks its genuine. I
predict he'll beat the crap out of us -- like with Sasuke -- and then give us
some speech about how he's impressed with our drive, but we need a lot of
work."

"Yeah, okay, I can do that," Naruto agreed. "Hey -- Shikamaru-kun, Shino-kun,
give me the names of some good books to read about this stuff for my library
bunshin!"

"Alright," Shikamaru allowed, amused.

Shino allowed a nod of his own, and the three began slowly walking towards
their inevitable meeting with the 'bastard' sensei.

* * *

Shikamaru had one arm draped over Naruto's shoulder as they limped out of the
training ground together. Slightly behind them, Shino had one arm over
Naruto's shoulder as they likewise staggered back into town. Playing dumb
_hurt_.

Bastard-sensei was an absolute _monster_. They didn't even make it into the
clearing before Shino had turned to Shikamaru, starting to open his mouth in
warning and--

Explosive tags.

'A real ninja is always prepared for ambush!'

They regrouped, dazed and shaken, but only bruised. Shino's scout kikaichu
tried to find Kakashi, and were met with some wide-area fire jutsu -- which
had made the bug-user the first one to lose his temper, surprisingly. Shino's
temper burned hot -- and brief. After attempting taijutsu and getting two
cross-punches to the face, Shino had reluctantly started using his kikaichu-
clones -- and in response, Kakashi had started hitting harder, swiftly
draining the Aburame boy's chakra reserves and kikaichu.

For his part, any _number_ of Naruto's bunshin seemed to run at Kakashi from
all directions, and all were swiftly dispersed. Shikamaru didn't have a ranged
option, thanks to his allies, so tried his clan-jutsu.

That had been worthless. The second Shikamaru had felt Kakashi in his shadow's
grasp, his dark chakra completely surrounding the ninja ... Kakashi simply
used kawarimi to replace himself with Naruto. Infallibly, he would get the
_real_ Naruto, too, resulting in the shadow-bound boy getting beaten by at
least a dozen of his clones before they realized their error.

Shikamaru decided to just give up and sit down--

Explosive tags.

'No breaks on the battle-field!'

He tried some taijutsu of his own, and got thrown into Naruto a few times, and
bunshin dozens of others. For 'not being able to take a hit', dispersing them
through impact felt almost as painful as the real article -- and Shikamaru had
a good sample to form a scientific basis for that, now.

So, for a while, Shikamaru had tried more desperate, wilder punches and kicks,
hoping he could maybe--

Explosive tags.

'Sloppy work creates more openings!'

Shino went down first, collapsing to slide on the dirt face-first, his glasses
tumbling off. Shikamaru felt a real spark of fury then -- so he tried to play
even dumber, going for his kunai and using Naruto's bunshin as cover to quick
stab at Kakashi's weak point.

Kakashi was _mean_. No explosive tags, this time. Instead every would-be
lethal strike was instantly met with kawarimi -- leaving Shikamaru wondering
how many times Naruto would have to remember being shanked in the kidneys by
his teammate, thanks to his bunshin. There was no doubt Kakashi was choosing
bunshin to take the really damaging attacks -- and Naruto for almost anything
else.

What god-damned business did _kawarimi_ have being such a powerful _offensive_
jutsu, anyway? Sure, he could see how Naruto had taken Mizuki down with his
bunshin, now. Well, that was a chunin, and Kakashi was a jounin, so he kicked
their asses soundly with nothing more than taijutsu and a few E and D rank
jutsu, just because he _could_.

It only got _worse_ once he started regularly using henge to look like Naruto.

Shortly after that, Shikamaru went down, and then, as though it were a
formality -- Kakashi grabbed the real Naruto by his heel and swung the boy
overhead, slamming him to the ground between Shino and Shikamaru -- before
another wide-area jutsu that Shikamaru didn't even _see_ wiped out all of the
bunshin and left Naruto cross-eyed and mumbling.

Once Shino regained consciousness and Naruto recovered to the point where he
could swear again, Kakashi greeted them brightly:

"Good morning, my cute little students!"

Then he listed off his likes and interests -- all of them being pretty much,
"I don't feel like telling you," followed by _their_ likes -- and information
that they'd never told any of the others. Shino had been a sleep-walker when
he was younger, which was mildly surprising, but Shikamaru couldn't see the
relevance, other than to point out that Kakashi had dug information up on
them. Naruto had been caught peeping in area bathhouses to master his 'sexy'
jutsu not very long before graduating the academy, which was not very
surprising at all, despite Naruto's outrage. Finally, he told the other two
that Shikamaru was terrified of his mother.

Well, he could admit he hadn't gone to great pains to hide that.

Then said the most horrific thing that Shikamaru had ever heard:

"I know I won't need to ask _you_ three to find your killing intent, so now
that we've properly met and finished warming up -- let's see how you do in a
_real_ fight!"

He shuddered at the memory, grateful to be leaving the training ground behind
him, hoping the sun would at least dry the mud -- where had Bastard-sensei
found mud, anyway? Shikamaru was _positive_ there wasn't a river nearby, or
they would have tried washing. But mud? The teacher had probably used a water
jutsu they hadn't seen -- _just_ to throw them all in mud puddles.

"I think I might hate that man," the Naruto assisting Shino determined.

Shikamaru painfully twisted back to look at the pair, causing the Naruto with
him to grunt in pain -- but not disperse. Shino's glasses were back in place,
one lens scratched badly, and one supporting arm of the frame snapped off.

"Like...wise," Shino groaned, wincing as he hobbled along.

Swiveling his head forward hurt just as much as turning it in the first place.
"Where to?"

"Back to Kurenai-sensei's training ground," Naruto spit out, still propelling
Shikamaru ahead.

"Did he ... knock you ... unconscious?" Shino wondered.

"Came close a few times," Naruto grumbled. "But not today."

"Did you fight him the entire time?" Shikamaru wondered.

"Yeah," Naruto agreed. "You said to lose my temper."

Shikamaru was confident he had spent more time unconscious than awake ... but
Naruto had been creating hundreds of bunshin, almost constantly. It was an
_ocean_ of orange, surrounding their party at all times ... but never enough
to down Kakashi. How much relative time was that?

"Did you ... observe anything ... about him?" Shino rasped.

"He was holding back," Shino's assistant bunshin groused.

The Aburame boy loosed an annoyed grunt of his own, the three falling silent
until they reached the clearing their 'testing' had started in.

"And I'm pretty sure that I fought harder, not smarter," Naruto added.

Shikamaru gladly collapsed onto the lawn, realizing only after the fact that
steady streams of Kikaichu were climbing across his body. He thought about
complaining, but then decided that if Shino's bugs weren't worried about his
breathing, he should just let his teammate's partners do their job. Shino
stood on his own when the bunshin with him dispersed, seeming to recover
strength as his kikaichu returned.

Interesting.

A few minutes passed, while Shikamaru actually began to feel somewhat
recovered. After that, Shino gave a terse nod and led the way back one more
time -- all the way to where they had met Asuma. More kikaichu began filtering
back to the bug-user, while Shikamaru and Naruto sat on the ground.

"Well?" Shikamaru finally asked.

"Kurenai-sensei's package contained food and medical supplies," he determined.
"While my kikaichu cannot relate specific conversations, it does not appear
that any team's experience differed significantly from ours."

"I just realized," Naruto said slowly. "If we had Kurenai-sensei first ...
then _every_ other team got to test with her after 'bad-sensei'."

Damn -- he was right. Shino nodded, grimacing. "Speaking of them -- we're late
to meet with the others," Shikamaru warned. "If anyone asks, why are we late?"

In one voice, tired and irritable, Shino and Naruto answered, "Sensei is a
bastard."

* * *

Hinata waited anxiously at Senzo's -- the evident meeting place for the rookie
nine, now. At least, both Kiba's team and Sasuke's team had been sent there by
their respective sensei. And, what a nightmarish experience that was! Naruto
hadn't been exaggerating -- Kakashi was _terrifying_!

Everyone so far had gone home and taken a shower before coming to Senzo's --
seemingly a requirement, really, with how messy Kakashi's 'testing' had
gotten. Surely ... Naruto's team wasn't _still_ testing with the cruel sensei,
were they?

When she scanned across the others -- all of them at least bruised or scuffed
from Kakashi's handling, except for the surprisingly resilient Choji -- she
thought she saw signs of anxiety in them, too.

Sure enough, the team she was waiting for staggered through the doorway,
prompting Sakura to gasp quietly, and Ino to spit her tea back into her cup in
surprise.

Shino appeared to have a blackening circle even larger than his dark glasses
forming around one eye, his lenses were scratched and hanging at a funny
angle, his coat was torn in several places, and he walked with a slight but
obvious limp. Shikamaru was worse, one cheek swollen, both eyes darkened, and
one wrist wrapped in a heavy bandage.

Between them, Naruto looked scuffed almost beyond recognition. His hair was
almost uniformly gray, instead of the usual gold, and his clothes were reduced
to little more than filthy tatters, as though someone had dragged him
repeatedly across a field. He'd washed his face and hands, and the looser dust
had been shaken out....

That only served to make the trail of dried blood from his nose more obvious,
though. She cringed at his other bruises, and Kiba yelped, "I thought he was
rough with _us_!"

"We got special treatment on account a' good behavior," Shikamaru replied,
frowning as he probed at his jaw with one hand. Groaning, he collapsed into a
seat and-- Yes! The seat next to Hinata was still open -- Naruto might take
the spot between her and Shikamaru!

Shino lurched towards the table, angling to sit down, and she fought back a
wave of disappointment before the boy suddenly stood back up, and she realized
he had actually almost _collapsed_. He struggled another step to the other
seat and--

Hinata felt the entire room warm by just under a thousand degrees as Naruto
sat down next to her, groaning gingerly. "I think he really liked us," he said
smartly, forcing a grin he couldn't possibly feel.

"Well -- did you pass?" Sasuke demanded impatiently.

"Yes," Shino answered. "It appears that for now, we are confirmed genin." He
paused. "Unless any of you were failed by a sensei."

Everyone quickly shook their heads -- though, Hinata was astounded she
survived Kakashi's ordeal, not much uplifted by his statement that he approved
of her drive. Especially since he said she still needed a lot of work after
that! Still, if they had endured worse....

"Then, we've made it," Choji said, obviously relieved. "Only ... now what?"

"Now," Kakashi said, appearing suddenly behind the large boy in a puff of
chakra residue and clapping one hand over Choji's shoulder, "we decide how
tomorrow goes! So-- Kiba, Choji, and Shino, my cute little students, you're
with me! Sasuke or his girlfriends can tell you where to meet!"

Humming jauntily, Kakashi trotted out of the restaurant without waiting for a
reply. The chopsticks in Sasuke's hands splintered. "Sensei is a bastard," he
spat.

Asuma walked in only a moment later, nodding at Senzo before stopping at the
table. "Naruto, Sasuke, Hinata, you'll be training with me tomorrow -- Hinata
can show you where our team meets up," he announced, before turning away
faster than they could reply. Naruto and Sasuke offered eerily similar grunts
in response, eying one-another warily.

Hinata tried to restrain her smile to merely a pleased curve, not the manic,
delighted grin she truly felt. She was going to be on a team with Naruto-kun
tomorrow! "It's by the small park in front of the Hokage tower!" she told
Naruto happily. "Beneath the ginkgo tree."

"And logically, that puts me with ... hating my life," Shikamaru sighed,
rubbing his temples.

"What do you mean?" Ino asked, frowning.

"I'm just ... going to savor the quiet for the moment," he grumbled in
response, flagging down a waitress and ordering something for himself, Naruto,
and Shino. "Shino-kun, I seriously would switch places with you if I could
tomorrow."

The Aburame boy adjusted his broken glasses slightly at that, giving a solemn
nod.

For a heartbeat, Naruto looked about to say something, but instead he shook
his head and pulled a notebook from within his tattered outfit, miraculously
unscathed, and began scanning across whatever was written there.

"Well, I'm done," Sasuke said, somewhat annoyed. He rose and left a handful of
ryo at his place, marching out the door.

"Where are we meeting up, Ino?" Kiba asked, frowning.

"That bridge by the park about a block from my family's shop," she answered
glumly. "I think you and Naruto put a trap-door in it once, a few years back?"

"Oh, yeah, that was a good prank," Kiba mused.

"Except for the part about just cutting a hole in the bridge instead of
putting in a trap-door," Naruto countered. "I _told_ you installing new stuff
would take too long."

"I'd complain more about you two, but Kakashi-sensei threw me into that river
yesterday," Ino grumbled.

"Bastard-sensei," Naruto, Shikamaru, and Shino corrected in one voice.

Ino blinked, then nodded, cheering slightly. "Yeah, okay -- Bastard-sensei."

"I like it -- rolls off the tongue," Kiba agreed. Choji nodded reluctantly
once the other boy elbowed him, nearly dislodging Akamaru.

Sakura sighed and hung her head. "I'm going to pretend you guys made me start
calling him that, if it comes up," she warned.

"If what comes up?" Kurenai asked, stepping in through the doorway with one
eyebrow raised.

"Er-- Nothing," Sakura said quickly, blushing. "Um, hi, Kurenai-sensei!"

"Hi!" she returned, just as cheerfully. "Well -- Sakura-chan, Ino-chan, and
Shikamaru-kun -- you'll be with me tomorrow! Shikamaru knows where we'll meet,
don't you?"

"Yep," Shikamaru answered, staring intently at his bowl of noodles as it was
served.

"Well! I hope we all have fun tomorrow!" She smiled at all of the students and
waved before walking away.

"I just realized!" Ino started, once Kurenai was gone. "I'm stuck on a team
with the queen of foreheads again!"

"Shut up, eyebrows!" Sakura snarled, glowering.

"Welcome to a preview of my tomorrow," Shikamaru sighed.

* * *

Naruto was surprised at how tired he was. He always recovered quickly, and
he'd thought his energy was inexhaustible ... but it somehow seemed that he'd
managed to find some new, deeper level of tired to achieve. Not ... _sleepy_
exactly, as much as his _head_ felt like it needed to rest. He wondered what
that meant, but then, it got lost somewhere in the ... very, very long battle
with Kakashi.

How long were they fighting? Not long after they'd finished their soup, and
Ino, Choji, Kiba, and Sakura had left, Naruto turned to face Shikamaru at a
question the genin leader had asked. "Library bunshin?" he repeated.

"Yeah -- what happened to them when Bastard-sensei used whatever it was to
disperse your bunshin all at once?" Shikamaru pressed.

That was a good question. It wasn't like he could feel his bunshin, though --
once they were out, that was pretty much it. He hadn't gotten memories _back_
from them, at least.... Well, there had been the pair that had gotten
dispersed for other reasons -- one was playing around trying to balance on a
clothesline before falling to an alley. Another had tried practicing one henge
too many and been jumped by ANBU for suspicious behavior.

Hopefully it wouldn't be traced back to him, at least.

"If they behaved," he said, "then the eighteen that are left should disperse
at exactly five."

Shikamaru quickly checked his pocket for a small timepiece. "So ... less than
a minute. Okay, let's see what happens."

He nodded, realizing that for some reason, Hinata was still with them in the
restaurant. Hmm, he hadn't said a proper greeting to her yet, had he? He
turned towards her say--

An entire day spent in the library ... yeah, only one bunshin would probably
tough it out, but if he ever wanted to learn anything from the library, he'd
need to that one and pick something to read. Grabbing an arbitrary book
without any real idea of what he should look for, the first title he picked up
was 'The Classic of Tea' by--

Senzo's restaurant was still around him, but--

An entire day spent in the library ... probably, only one bunshin would be
able to stick the entire thing out. If he wanted anything useful from the
library, he was going to have to stay, though. They had books about learning
things in general, right? Since that was a weak point, he went to find some
assistance, quickly getting a volume of unfamiliar kanji. Well, crap. Okay,
he'd spend the entire day with that and a dictionary--

Shikamaru was still shaping some syllable of something, as--

He had a special purpose when he went into the library. He was the last
bunshin sent in, and really, the only one who had specific instructions on
what to read. It wasn't too hard to find a shelf with a relatively slim book
titled, 'The History of the Twelve Guardian Ninja'. That would at least let
him know what the heck it meant that Asuma-sensei used to be one of--

Shikamaru's gaze rose from his timepiece, the last sound of whatever he said
just finishing--

_Just_ going to the library was boring.... And reading about _go_ was boring.
Still, it seemed to be one of those generic 'smart people' things, so he'd
buckle down and make himself finish the book he'd set aside yesterday. Maybe
he could learn enough to provide a challenge to--

For whatever reason, he was looking up at the ceiling, Shino's face peering
down at him intently -- glasses fallen off, revealing his eyes.... That was
new. Had Naruto seen those before? There had to be a reason he was--

He really wasn't looking forward to spending the entire day reading. Partially
because reading was hard, and partially because it was _boring_. He finally
settled on what seemed like a good compromise, a young adult story with
helpful furigana to teach him those annoying difficult kanji. That wasn't so
bad, in the end--

Shikamaru was looking down at him from above, too, though his face was turned
away as he called for something--

And then the rest of the memories returned.

* * *

Hinata was horrified -- things had seemed to be going so well! She was sitting
next to Naruto, and for tomorrow, at least, would even get to be on a team
with him -- and then he suddenly got a strange look and tipped over in his
seat, straight back onto the floor. She was stunned, frozen and unsure what to
do when his two friends dropped to his side, trying to gauge his wellbeing
before Shikamaru turned and called for medical assistance.

Oh, kami -- was Naruto _dying_? She wasn't sure where Shino went, only that
he'd made room for her to kneel at Naruto's side and take his hand, patting
his wrist nervously. Was there anything she could do? She gathered her focus,
activating her kekkai genkai without a second thought, scanning Naruto's body
and chakra for any sign of disturbance.

She couldn't register any -- or anything else she recognized as a sign of poor
health. Her eyes lingered on the seal on his stomach, radiant with chakra, but
no, that was fairly normal for Naruto.

"H...Hinata-chan?" he croaked, seeming to come out of his fit, peering up at
her in astonishment.

Then his eyes shot wide and he sat up straight, suddenly sweeping her into a
hug. "Hinata-chan!" he cried more happily.

"What," Shikamaru managed before Naruto spotted him.

"Shikamaru-kun!"

Hinata was so happy, she didn't even _mind_ that Shikamaru was included in her
first hug with Naruto!

"Air," Shikamaru finally wheezed.

"Ah," Naruto realized suddenly, letting go of both of them. Hinata reflexively
checked Shikamaru's lung capacity and blood-oxygen levels, since her byakugan
was still active. By her calculations he could have endured at _least_ another
thirteen seconds of that hug!

"Oh, _man_ was that a bad idea!" Naruto chuckled, making her heart stop. "All
those bunshin at once!" Her heart restarted-- Okay, it wasn't her....

She looked around, startled to realize that everyone around them was staring
with something bordering shock.

For some reason, Shino had knocked over someone else's table, smashed apart a
chair, covered himself with someone else's food, and then decided to just lie
there. Part of her mind registered that a perfect line ran from where she had
been sitting, her current position, and Shino.

"O...oh, ah-- T...this is my fault, so please let me pay for the damages!" she
blurted out, as soon as the aged proprietor came in from the kitchen, looking
around in surprise.

She hurriedly apologized again, handing over nearly half of her weekly
allowance -- why had Shino broken that furniture, anyway? Well ... he probably
just panicked when he was worried about Naruto -- like she had. Still, she
couldn't let him pay for the damages; she felt somehow responsible.

Senzo didn't really seem to mind that much, but accepted the money, assuring
them that ninja of the leaf were always welcome regardless.

It wasn't until she was outside with the other three that she let herself take
a shaky breath and ask, "W...what was that?" To her enhanced sight, nothing
had changed. Naruto was the same as ever, still a radiant beacon of chakra.
Beyond that? He looked dizzy, and she could see his heart-rate was slightly
accelerated.

Naruto squirmed a bit, but then haltingly explained how kage bunshin worked --
and that he'd sent some to the library. "So," he concluded, "eighteen of them
managed to stick out the whole ten hours and then reported back at once, is
all."

Shikamaru blinked and did some quick math. "Naruto," he said with a frown,
glancing around the street, "that's-- That's a full week of time and then
some, reading."

"Yeah," he said slowly, frowning. "I think the problem was it hitting me all
at once -- though, when I was on the floor it suddenly felt like I'd actually
been _gone_ that long without even ... you know ... seeing any of you guys."
He chuckled weakly at that, scratching the back of his head in embarrassment
before fumbling for a notebook and hurriedly writing down a sequence of book
titles and page numbers. "Yeah -- aiming for twenty is probably way too many
-- I think I'll tone it down to four or five, and make sure they don't
disperse all at once."

Hinata was momentarily speechless, finally releasing her byakugan. Naruto ...
suddenly taking an interest in the library? A sudden inspiration hit her, and
she offered, "U...um, you know, i...if you're studying for something m...maybe
I could help?"

"Maybe!" Naruto agreed, laughing uncertainly.

"Maybe take a break for a bit," Shikamaru mused, raising an eyebrow. "Hell,
you just spent a week studying. Relax -- do whatever. But like you were told,
don't overdo it."

"I feel _really_ tired, but like it's all in my head," Naruto mused, frowning.
"Honestly, I think it felt longer when we fought Bastard-sensei."

"It may be wise to sleep," Shino noted. "There will be time for more study
later."

Hinata felt her hopes dashed once again.

"Yeah.... Yeah -- that sounds like a good idea," Naruto agreed, nodding. "You
can come by tomorrow before I send my library bunshin out, Hinata-chan!"

"O...oh, okay," she agreed hurriedly, feeling elated once more -- so much
excitement, being around Naruto! She thought her heart was about to burst!
"W...where do you live?"

"Well, follow me, I'll show you," he said, grinning. "Come on!"

Feeling like she was floating, she nodded eagerly, wondering where he got the
energy to run if he were so tired.

* * *

"Well," Shikamaru drawled dryly, watching Naruto lead Hinata as they trotted
away, "that was interesting."

"An observation," Shino remarked, frowning, looking down at his arm, where his
coat had been torn.

"What's that?" Shikamaru mused, thinking about Naruto's experiences. How long
until _he_ had enough chakra to make a kage bunshin?

"Hinata is capable of hitting harder than Bastard-sensei has elected to strike
me so far," Shino said, raising his gaze.

Shikamaru blinked, glancing around the street again. "Really?" he asked,
despite the fact that he doubted Shino would lie to him.

The other boy gave a solemn nod in response.

Shikamaru tugged at one earring thoughtfully. "She seems to really like
Naruto-kun, too."

"Obviously."

"Not to him, though. We'll have to share a good laugh at his expense once he
figures it out," Shikamaru noted.

"Agreed."

Hah -- he _knew_ Shino had a sense of humor in there somewhere. "Until then,
I'm willing to bet that she could teach Naruto-kun a thing or two about
taijutsu."

"A family style?" Shino asked doubtfully.

Oh, right. _Damn_. No wonder it seemed like such an obvious solution. "Hmm.
That won't really do, then."

"We are seeking a taijutsu instructor?" Shino asked.

"Kind of a side-project I've been considering," Shikamaru allowed with a
shrug. "Basically, just trying to figure out who Naruto can practice with when
we're doing training on our clan jutsu."

Shino nodded slowly at that. "Perhaps merely giving firmer direction with his
bunshin?" he suggested.

"Yeah -- that's probably a good start."

* * *

Anko had spent most of her day watching Kakashi train his students. She'd
really meant to follow Shikamaru around covertly -- see what her cute little
'Chibikage' was up to. Kakashi had evidently either decided not to watch out
for the kage bunshin she'd left watching his training grounds, or she had been
_that_ good at sneaking up on him.

She was confident it was the former.

That meant that she had to strain her chakra reserves to make an extra bunshin
to watch over Shikamaru, and then run all the way around Konoha to Asuma's
team to tell the bunshin _there_ not to move after all. Anko being Anko, that
meant that she naturally was ambushed by her own bunshin -- playfully, of
course, since she couldn't fight back without wasting all that chakra.

So she got to Kakashi's training ground in time to watch him fling two
kunoichi and the Uchiha heir around. The genin wouldn't spot it, but Kakashi
was playing safer than they thought; his own kage-bunshin were throwing water
jutsu beneath the young ninja before they hit hard packed earth. Mild pain and
some humiliation, instead of just raw pain?

Not what she was used to, but she supposed that even _one_ of the genin being
killed meant the project would be a failure, and the Hokage would be ...
displeased. To say the least.

The practical upshot of all of her efforts was the fact that as far she knew,
she was the only one among the teachers with a bunshin to catch the
Chibikage's team's extra scouting work. Now _that_ was impressive -- not that
there was anything for them to actually _find_....

She thought Kakashi should be proud of that; those three weren't content just
to try and see underneath the underneath -- they were trying to tear the
underneath's head off to peer down its throat.

Despite what she had told the other teachers, she really wasn't sure what to
make of the the other students, though. On the other hand ... if the
Chibikage's personal team were dead-set on trying to fix the teamwork flaws in
the rookie nine, well....

She was shaken from those thoughts when she reached her apartment, frowning to
realize the door was unlocked. A kunai impaled on her door pinned a note in
place -- Kakashi's handwriting, followed by a simplified, unreasonably happy
version of his own face in lieu of a signature. The message was a simple, "Can
I have my book back?"

Pursing her lips, she wrenched the kunai from her door and absentmindedly
pocketed the note.

Yeah ... she supposed she _did_ owe him the book back. She'd gotten a hell of
a lot more fun out of it than she'd originally expected.

"Alright," she said, swinging the door open. "I finished reading it, so you
can have it back. Now, what are you doing in my apartment?"

The legendary copy ninja was sitting on her sofa, flipping through a magazine
with one hand, while the other held a carafe of sake. "I don't have my lucky
lovely kunoichi summoning book?" he asked, tilting his head to one side
slightly, seemingly fixed on the magazine.

"Flattery will get you quite a bit," she replied, closing the door and
settling onto the couch next to him before pulling the book from her coat.
"Kinda makes me wish I had my own place in the mountains."

He nodded absently, neither looking or reaching for the book.

Annoyed, she tossed it onto the table. "You can't get sympathy from me if I
have no idea what you're beating yourself up over," she warned.

"It doesn't really shine ... but that doesn't make it less true," he mumbled
in response. "Not truly."

...that was different.

She had the strangest feeling that whatever he had said, it was one of the
most truthful things he'd ever said. Was Kakashi _drunk_? He was staring at a
very bland advertisement for a new soft-drink -- and Anko had a very hard time
imagining him caring about that.

She leaned close to him to sniff his breath curiously, but crossed some
invisible boundary that roused Kakashi from his distraction. His visible eye
flicked to her, and then away. "I was thinking of reading a bit," he said in
response to her nearness. "But I might be persuaded otherwise."

Not betraying her alarm, she gave him a dubious stare. It was one thing to
play cat-and-mouse with Kakashi -- but this sudden change in demeanor from
'tolerant indifference' to 'submissive acceptance'.... Something felt _wrong_
about it.

He didn't smell enough of alcohol for her to believe he was really impaired --
and he was a ninja, anyway. Like most, he probably had techniques to control
how much liquor affected him, or at the very least, he could probably sober
himself up in a few seconds.

So, what was he doing?

With a sudden flash of insight, she realized he had no one else to share his
problems with. Gai wouldn't _really_ understand -- though he'd genuinely _try_
to cheer Kakashi. Then again, even if he'd -- as much as he seemed capable --
reached out to her for help, she didn't know what to do any better than the
manic, taijutsu-obsessed jounin.

She didn't really feel like playing guessing games, so instead said, "I'm
going to take a shower. You know where my bed is." She paused at the entrance
to the hallway, looking over her shoulder. "I can't really say I know what's
going on with you. The best I can offer is to make you forget for a few
minutes. So ... you're welcome to join me."

* * *

When morning came around, Hinata found herself awake early. Since she found
herself with so much energy, she decided to just set out ahead of schedule. Of
course, Naruto hadn't really thought to give her a specific _time_ when she
should come by his place. Then again, she didn't want to come over _too_
early.

She settled on what seemed to be a compromise. If she went over before he was
ready, well, she could just offer to do something to make it up for him! That
thought in mind, she jogged quickly to the market district by Naruto's
apartment, scanning the stalls that were just opening and quickly rounding up
what she thought she would need.

After that another jog through the lifting mists, and she skidded to a halt at
the stairs leading up to his apartment, grocery bags in hand. She reached his
door and paused. If she _was_ too early, she wouldn't want to accidentally
wake him up when he needed his rest. He'd just had a difficult practice with
the terrifying Kakashi yesterday, after all!

Really, in the interest of being polite, she took out lock pick set she kept
tucked behind the leaf symbol of her hitai-ate -- though, she wore hers as a
collar. With her kekkai genkai active, the security on Naruto's apartment door
was trivial. Very carefully, she eased the door open, one ear towards the
apartment to listen.

She could distantly make out the sounds of very light snoring, and allowed a
satisfied smile to cross her face.

Good -- she wasn't going to risk being a bad guest!

After letting herself in and looking around, she studied the floor-plan. The
front room was divided into a kitchenette and a living area -- which was
almost completely devoid of furniture. A few wall-hangings provided some
decoration -- the leaf of Konoha, the spiral symbol that she didn't recognize
that Naruto wore on his arm, and a surprisingly elegant sample of calligraphy
reading 'happiness', signed by the Hokage.

Nodding to herself -- and reminding herself that she was a ninja -- she
stealthily approached the kitchen.

After busying herself with some chores that Naruto had most likely been
intending to do shortly himself anyway, she judged it clean enough to actually
prepare food. Now, time to get to work!

She had timed it so that between everything else she was doing to keep herself
occupied, the meal would be ready at the same time as Naruto's alarm clock was
set to go off. Of course, using her kekkai genkai to determine the time the
alarm was supposed to go had revealed quite a bit about Naruto's room --
still, she reminded herself, it was okay. She wasn't actually _going_ into his
room, or anything.

Just _looking_. To see when the alarm clock was going off.

And absolutely not peeking around at other things along the way.

What cute pajamas!

She wrenched her attention back to the stove, forcing those thoughts away.
After she'd dismissed her byakugan, the extra blood seemed to flow straight
out of her enhanced nerves and into her cheeks, and then just settled there.

Just under a minute before the alarm should have gone off, she heard a mumble
from Naruto's room. It was close enough -- she turned off the stove and crept
to the door to listen. He was whimpering a half-formed protest, and she just
barely made out the name of Iruka. She felt her heart constrict, and tears
well in her eyes. Poor Naruto -- suffering a nightmare....

She wished she could help, but it wouldn't be proper to go into his room --
she was an heiress to her clan. It was improper to the extreme! To say nothing
of the fact that he might not appreciate her presence there. And, anyway, the
alarm would go off in a moment and rouse him--

Except ... it couldn't, because she shut it off and sat carefully on the side
of his bed, cautiously touching his shoulder and whispering his name as she
gently tried to rouse him.

"...nnn--HA!" he started, eyes shooting wide open, and then closing, as he
heaved a deep breath, his hand reflexively grabbing hers. "Ung...." His other
arm rose and flopped across his eyes, his face twisting into a grimace.

For a heartbeat, he was still. Then he mumbled, "Whoza...huh?" Uncovering his
eyes, he blinked up at her quizzically, still holding her hand. "Hinata-chan?"
he asked in bemusement.

"Y...yes?" she stammered uncertainly. Oh, dear -- he wasn't liable to think
this was a dream, was he? How embarrassing that would be, if he tried to take
advantage of her--

"You're in my room?"

"Ah," she started. "Y...you were having a nightmare, I thought, and...." Well,
what was a good explanation for this? As if in answer, the oven-timer dinged,
and she haltingly offered, "I w...was making you ... breakfast?"

He blinked again, releasing her hand, then sat up and dragged a hand through
his hair, dislodging the cute sleeping cap. Oh ... oh dear. She hadn't gone
too far, had she?

"That's awesome!" he exclaimed suddenly, grinning. "Thanks, Hinata-chan!
You're amazing!"

* * *

Naruto felt bad for Hinata. She'd gone out of her way to come over and
surprise him -- and evidently she'd gotten up so early she just immediately
fallen asleep after waking him up to eat. Poor girl -- he'd always thought she
was kind of quiet and weird, but then she'd offered suddenly to help him
study....

After getting up, Naruto moved Hinata's prone form closer to the center of the
bed, so she wouldn't fall off. He stepped into the living room, squinting at
the floor. Then at the kitchen table. Then the kitchen itself.

He couldn't even make _cup ramen_ without somehow generating dirty dishes and
getting the kitchen messy. How the hell had Hinata managed to make all that
food without making _any_ mess?

Staring at it didn't make it go away ... so it wasn't an illusion. He _was_ a
bit hungry, but it felt rude to start without her. He decided to let her nap
while he took a shower.

In his remarkably clean bathroom.

When did that happen?

After he'd dressed in clean clothes he didn't remember washing, he stepped out
of the bathroom, not terribly surprised to see Hinata already up again,
blushing profusely as she pulled out the chairs at the kitchen table. "Did you
clean my entire house?" he wondered.

For some reason, she looked guilty when she nodded.

"That's really cool!" he told her, grinning. "I must have been out of it -- or
else you've got awesome ninja skills!"

"Y...you must have been very tired," she said almost instantly in response.

"Nah," he said, once she served him a plate. "If you can do that -- and cook
this good -- you're pretty awesome!"

The girl looked simultaneously elated, and as though she were trying to find
some way to refute the claim. For a moment, he thought she was going to
insist, somehow, that it wasn't good enough, but she finally squeaked out,
"T...thank you, Naruto-kun!"

Yeah, he thought he was starting to understand this girl.... She seemed
genuinely nice -- like she wanted to help people. He supposed she was just
really shy. Well ... he didn't really know what to do about that, but he could
try being her friend. Heck, they were going to be teammates anyway!

"Say, Hinata," he began, once he'd finished eating, while she was still
working on her own meal. "Come to think of it.... I guess it's a bit strange,
having you over like this."

She blinked, looking confused and strangely paler than usual.

"Er -- but then, that's my fault," he added quickly. "Yeah! Uh, we should be
friends, shouldn't we?"

"Yes!" she shouted without hesitation, eyes even wider. "Er-- Um! Yes," she
said, somewhat more calmly, trembling for some reason as she smiled.
"F...friends! S...so that this is not strange, r...right?"

"Hey, I'll let you come over to make breakfast for me any time!" he assured
her. He would, too -- the strange magic that transformed ... _things_ from the
market into genuinely edible _food_ was just alien to him. Cup ramen was the
only thing he felt competent to prepare, and that usually ended up messy
_anyway_. "Heck, shaking me out of that nightmare -- I should say thanks for
that, too!"

She looked ecstatic, and he felt pleased with himself, glad he'd finally
figured something out on his own. There -- Hinata had wanted to be friends
with him, and now they were. One step closer to a better team -- and then
being free of Kakashi's reign of terror. In fact, with Hinata around, he was
sure he'd be able to keep from snapping at Sasuke. That was pretty cool, too!

It was already shaping up to be a pretty good day. "So, tell me, Hinata-chan,
how do you get good at studying, anyway?"

"I-- Hmm?" Hinata responded, blinking several times, her cheeks strangely
pink. Maybe her breakfast was too warm. "Oh! Y...yes! Right! Um, t...to start
with, what are you studying?"

Come to think of it ... that was actually a pretty good question.

"I don't know ... but some day I want to be Hokage -- so anything that will
help me with that!"

* * *

With reluctance and some resignation, Shikamaru plodded towards his inevitable
doom. The coddling, soft-hearted teacher and the two most delicate kunoichi in
-- not just the rookie nine -- the entire genin class. He was going to be
surrounded in misery.

It was only when he arrived at the meeting place -- intentionally one minute
late -- that the true sadistic genius of the plan began to sink in.

Because, as he was going to suffer, so were Shino and Naruto. By Kakashi or
Uchiha, their collective sensei had decided to ensure that the road to
becoming a ninja was fraught with pain.

Kurenai and the girls turned to look at him as he strolled up to the group.
"Sorry I'm late," he drawled.

"That's fine," their teacher assured him, giving a friendly smile. "One minute
for training isn't too bad."

Ino and Sakura looked less than convinced, but said nothing about it, turning
their attention to the teacher.

"So, what are we doing today?" Ino wondered, scratching her head.

"Today we will be discussing conduct," she said.

Of course, Shikamaru realized sourly. No chance of learning something
genuinely useful.

"That'll help the next time B-- Kakashi decides to throw us around," Ino
remarked.

"That's Kakashi-_sensei_," Kurenai corrected.

"Er, how does this help us become better ninja?" Sakura wondered.

"Because there are certain codes of behavior we adhere to, and before you
advance as ninja, you must understand how to behave around your superiors,"
she clarified. Then she paused, holding her hands together thoughtfully,
before she smiled again. "Well, you can do more than just listen to me lecture
you. For practice, let's see how long you can maintain the leaf concentration
exercise while we talk!"

Oh, _hell_.

Shikamaru had spent long hours -- probably _days_ -- in the academy with
Naruto, Kiba, and Choji doing that stupid exercise. If Iruka hadn't--

Ooooh....

He had to give Kurenai points for subtlety. He'd been expecting the attack
against his spirit to come from an entirely different direction.

Huh. Maybe he could learn something from her, after all.

"Sure," he said, when Sakura and Ino looked dismayed.

Kurenai beamed a smile at him, then handed over a leaf. He pressed it against
his forehead without hesitation and sank to sit in a meditative posture,
tilting his head slightly back.

"Just like old times?" Sakura teased him, as she and Ino took their leaves and
sat nearby.

"He doesn't have a chance of beating you -- but with so much forehead, maybe
you should have _two_ leaves," Ino heckled.

"Bite me, eyebrows!" the pink-haired girl retorted in a growl.

"Oh, yeah," Shikamaru muttered, focusing his chakra on the leaf. "You guys are
doing _great_ at conduct -- say, do you remember who taught us this exercise?"

Both girls shot him surprised looks before falling completely silent, the
reminder defusing their argument before it could properly heat up.

"Much better," Kurenai said, when none of the students spoke for a full
minute. "Now -- there will be a test on this lecture once we're finished, but
keep those leaves in place!"

* * *

Asuma surveyed his charges, standing around him in a semicircle -- all of them
on time. Hinata and Naruto had arrived together, the girl blushing and
stammering -- unreasonably cheerful for someone who had endured Kakashi's
training only a day ago.

He nodded at that thoughtfully, mentally confirming who Hinata's 'certain
person' was. Kurenai's observation on that count had been spot-on --
unsurprisingly.

Sasuke had arrived very shortly after, looking completely indifferent to his
teammates and simply waiting expectantly for Asuma to speak.

Naruto and Hinata said nothing once the other boy came into visual range.

Even though it was time for the lesson to begin, he remained quiet. He had a
pack of cigarettes, but given time, like the present, he preferred to roll his
own. While his students watched him expectantly, he very slowly went through
the process, covertly studying their reactions.

Sasuke hid his impatience, waiting. Naruto quickly got bored of watching him
and looked around aimlessly, obviously fighting an urge to fidget. Hinata
altered between trying to steal glances at Naruto and watching Asuma
uncertainly.

Eventually, he finished rolling the brand and brought it to his lips, hiding
it from their sight as he used some simple chakra shaping to create a spark in
the tip. Come to think of it, with a sharingan and a byakugan among his
students, he probably only really hid it from Naruto.

No matter.

He waited until his cigarette was finished and Naruto appeared to finally be
on the verge of speaking before addressing them. "Today," he intoned solemnly,
"we shall learn to breathe."

Sasuke was unimpressed. Hinata seemed accepting. Naruto looked annoyed.

"Follow," he ordered, turning and leading the trio out of the park where they
met up, and to a calmer place. Not quite a park, just a secluded, undeveloped
corner of Konoha, along the bank of the river. At other times of the year, it
would be more scenic, but year round, it was quiet.

"Sit," he commanded.

His students did as instructed.

A fallen tree-branch provided a good stick, once he snapped off a few unneeded
twigs. "First, to breathe, you must maintain posture." He walked around them
in slow circles, prodding Naruto first in the upper arm. "Sit up straighter,"
he instructed. "Relax your shoulders."

Sasuke watched intently, adjusting his own sitting posture to match Naruto's,
and Hinata did the same.

"What does sitting have to do with breathing?" Naruto grumbled, adjusting
himself as per Asuma's demands.

"Everything," he answered, carefully explaining nothing before he went to
Hinata. "Too much tension," he informed her. "Relax your elbows and hands."

By the time he got to Sasuke, the boy's posture was almost right. "Chin
lower," he advised. "Relax your neck.

"Now," he instructed. "Close your eyes, and let your breath be the breath of
the world around you."

Before Naruto could ask, he explained, "The measure of your breath should be
constant. Focus on that more than anything else -- drive all distractions from
your mind and think only of your breathing. Regular breaths -- in for the
count of three, out for the count of four. The entirety of your awareness
should be on your breathing and nothing else."

"Then what?" Naruto protested.

"Then, stop thinking about that, too."

It only took about ten minutes for Naruto to verbalize the frustration he
could sense in all three of them. "Why is it so hard _not_ to think?" he
grumbled, seeming to be completely stymied by the concept.

"I would have thought _you_ would have a gift for that," Sasuke shot back,
unable to resist.

Naruto made an annoyed sound in response, but didn't otherwise rise to the
bait. Hinata gave Naruto a sympathetic look before eying Sasuke dubiously,
which he ignored.

Asuma rolled another cigarette and watched his charges obediently try to
meditate. Hinata was keeping her movement minimal, but was still betraying
tiny involuntary twitches -- and stealing constant peeks at Naruto. Sasuke's
eyes were closed, but for all of his taunting -- he was focusing almost
exclusively on Naruto. Likewise, the orange-clad boy had no real chance of
achieving any kind of inner peace while he kept trying to pay attention to
Sasuke without opening his eyes or being obvious about it.

He was confident that they'd spend the entire day trying -- and failing -- to
meditate.

That was fine, though. They needed to understand how far they had to go before
they could earnestly begin that journey -- and as far as he could determine,
these three were the ones who would need help focusing the most.

Time to test them. While seeking peace, they found everything that prevented
them from achieving it. "Hinata -- what is on your mind?" Asuma asked
suddenly, startling all three of his students into opening their eyes.

"Ah, um-- My father," she blurted out, seeming dismayed at herself for
speaking.

"And what is he doing?" Asuma asked.

"T...telling me I'm an unworthy heir," she mumbled, bowing her head and
looking away.

Naruto gave her a confounded look fit to rival his earlier ones.

Asuma nodded knowingly and sent them back into meditation without further
explanation. When he judged the interval of time was enough for them to at
least become distracted, he targeted Naruto next.

"Naruto -- what is on your mind?" he prompted.

"Mizuki," Naruto answered with a grimace, shaking his head. Unsurprising.

Though he suspected the answer anyway, Asuma pressed, "And what is he doing?"

"H...he's dying.... Begging me to stop stabbing him," Naruto answered, his
voice shaking. Hinata bit back a sympathetic gasp, completely abandoning all
pretenses of meditation. "G...guess that must have been one of the middle
bunshin to get there.... Not the last few hundred, though ... he couldn't talk
so much by then." A flash of irritation crossed Naruto's face and he bowed his
head, staring at the ground past his knees.

Asuma gave the same knowing nod, hiding an internal wince. Kurenai would be
best to field that one, probably. More worrisome was the undisguised
fascination Sasuke showed at the few words Naruto had allowed.

There was no doubt in anyone's mind what was coming next, so Asuma waited
until it would have been reasonable to stop for lunch before deciding that
Sasuke had become as 'settled' as he would for this exercise. He prompted
Sasuke, just as the others.

His response was a clipped, "My family."

"And what are they doing?"

"Nothing," he answered. "They're dead." Another total lack of surprise, there
-- the fate of his clan was known to everyone.

Asuma gave the same knowing nod in response. "Rise," he commanded the
students.

They watched him warily as they stood, stretching out stiff joints and looking
around for some clue of what would happen next. He turned on one heel and led
them up the bank to the street, and across the road to his favorite barbecue
restaurant. He especially liked the outdoor seating, so he could watch his
students while smoking -- without bothering anyone else too much.

"Are we going to be doing a lot of this as ninja?" Naruto asked somewhat
plaintively.

Asuma waved a hand as a waitress approached, indicating his regular order for
himself and students. Not that he'd actually had a meal with this particular
group of students, yet. "What is a ninja, Naruto?" he asked patiently.

"We're ninja," he answered, confused. "I mean.... Is this about the Will of
Fire and serving Konoha? The codes and stuff we have to always follow?"

"Before any of those things, a ninja is a person, Naruto."

The boy sighed at that, seeming to dismiss the answer as nonsense, instead
focusing on the table before him as the waitress returned, setting a dish of
teriyaki beef and stir-fried vegetables before each of them.

Asuma took one last draw from his current cigarette, preparing to launch into
a lengthy lecture. "You see, Naruto," he said, suddenly acting as a
companionable sensei, instead of behaving as an elder monk to his initiate,
"meditation is about understanding. Eventually, you'll be able to understand
the world around you in more clear and practical terms.

"To understand being a ninja better, you must understand yourself better. You
are a ninja. Before that, what are you?"

"A ... person?" he asked warily, glancing at Hinata to see if she had a
suggestion.

Sasuke began eating silently, though he at least looked contemplative.

"That is one answer," Asuma allowed. "To progress, you must learn to stop
thinking. There are two aspects of meditation, and they will strengthen your
mind if you can master them both."

"What are they?" Sasuke asked immediately.

"Serenity or tranquility -- the ability to maintain composure. Insight or
focus -- the ability to attain wisdom with internal clarity."

"B...but what does..." Hinata began before cutting off at being the target of
three gazes. "Um.... H...how do those questions you asked us fit into this?"

"Those are the thoughts that occupy your mind and prevent you from achieving
clarity," Asuma explained. "Things that you must overcome to improve your
ability to meditate -- and to be better ninja."

Sasuke grunted at that, pushing his empty plate away. Naruto gave a morose
sigh and produced his notebook, asking, "Are there any good books about
meditation you can suggest?" Sasuke gave Naruto a very strange look at that,
and for whatever reason, Hinata seemed slightly cheered.

Asuma kept his expression neutral, answering, "A great many."

Naruto frowned at that. "Well ... which are the best ones?" he pressed. "If I
have to figure out this inner-peace stuff to be a better ninja, what's the
fastest way to do that?"

Smiling softly, Asuma shook his head. "To master the no-mind state, you must
learn to ponder questions which cannot be answered."

"Huh?"

"Consider this, Naruto -- if a tree falls in the woods, and no one can hear
it, does it make a noise?"

"Yeah," he answered, nodding. "I'm pretty sure it does."

"Why?"

Naruto opened his mouth to answer, then thought better of it. After a long
minute of thought he complained, "I don't know -- it makes a noise when people
can hear it fall, so why wouldn't it just because no one is around?"

"Ah, you have answered the question," Asuma noted.

"That didn't seem very unanswerable," Sasuke mumbled.

"Sasuke, a wheel is a hoop -- yet it can bear all the weight of an axle no
matter how it turns. Where is the strength in the wheel?"

The Uchiha heir blinked, struggling to process the question -- looking for an
answer.

Hinata looked between the two of them, then down to her untouched food. Naruto
sighed and began to eat, shaking his head.

"And Hinata -- an empty vessel is made of simple clay. Where is the value in
it?"

"Yeah, Naruto got an easier question," Sasuke grumbled.

"Is that so?" Asuma asked, leaning closer to the Uchiha heir with an amused
smirk. "What's your answer, then?"

"The shape?" he guessed, his expression doubtful.

"I see ... and Hinata?"

"T...the value of the vessel is the ... empty space within it?" Hinata posed
haltingly, looking fearful of his response.

Asuma was nothing short of amazed -- she'd actually figured it out. He doubted
she'd really achieved a no-mind state to come that far, but that didn't
matter. She'd puzzled through it anyway, even while appearing distracted by
Naruto and Sasuke.

"Naruto, your answer is incorrect," Asuma noted.

"It doesn't make a sound?" Naruto asked, surprised.

"Also wrong!"

Sasuke released an irritated snort, crossing his arms over his chest and
looking away. "There's no correct answer, then," he judged.

"And for the third time ... wrong," Asuma declared, shaking his head. "There
are correct answers -- like Hinata's."

"Then what's the right answer!" Naruto demanded, setting down his chopsticks
and pushing his cleaned plate away.

"For a ninja, the answer is -- it does not matter. The tree has fallen."

Naruto made a sound of disgusted despair, dramatically dropping his head to
the table. "Meditation _sucks_," he whined.

"Good -- you are losing your illusions and preparing to approach
enlightenment."

"Fine," Sasuke said crisply. "If the strength of a wheel isn't the shape, what
is it?"

"The wheel is a community, Sasuke. It is a circle -- with nothing in the
center, it falls apart."

Sasuke's eyes narrowed, but he refused to rise to the bait and ask the obvious
question.

"The strength comes from the spokes -- small supports that cross the void and
connect opposing sides of the same circle," Asuma explained. "However, even in
the case of Hinata, who answered correctly, comes the issue of understanding.
Hinata, what is the significance of the vessel and its worth? How does it
pertain to you?"

"I...I'm worthless?" she asked.

Asuma bit back a sigh. How the hell had Hinata gotten through the academy with
such shaky confidence?

Sasuke rolled his eyes, but Naruto sat up, shaking his head and looking at
Hinata in confusion. "How can you think that?" he asked. "You were the only
one who figured out their question! That--" He bit something back and said, "I
couldn't figure mine out, so if you're worthless, doesn't that make me even
less?"

"Impressive, Naruto," Asuma said. "You are learning to destroy the selfish ego
and relinquish worldly bonds."

"Huh?"

"A joke," he assured the boy, rolling yet another cigarette. This one he
tucked behind his ear for later, instead of lighting. "No, Hinata -- you are
the vessel, and your worth is the potential you have to retain knowledge. All
men and women are made from the same worthless clay; our value comes from the
experiences we become filled with."

"Oh!" she exclaimed a slight smile coming to her lips.

"So, we're done and we can move on to the next part of our training, right?"
Naruto asked, almost desperately.

"Correct," he agreed. "Next, we shall return to the riverbank and meditate in
utter silence. Your question is this: What is the sound of one hand clapping?"

The orange-clad boy groaned, adjusting his hitai-ate with resignation after
Hinata pushed her plate away, finished.

"Follow," Asuma instructed after rising, slipping back to the role of senior
monk tending his acolytes.

* * *

The assembled rookie nine collected at Senzo's once more. Shino, Choji, and
Kiba looked significantly worse for wear, the rotund boy seeming to have taken
the least actual damage. Naruto winced in sympathy for Shino -- how many of
those coats was Kakashi going to ruin?

Bad enough that Naruto had to use his backup orange jacket....

"Well," Sasuke grumbled in a frustrated tone, "did anyone else have fun?"

"Training was mind-numbing," Shikamaru answered without hesitation, staring
bleakly forward.

"How bad could it be?" Kiba wondered. "Seriously -- we were with _Bastard-
sensei_. Try and come up with something worse than that!"

"Remember the leaf concentration exercise?" the shadow-user asked irritably.

"Aw, crap," Kiba sighed. "Well, what about Asuma-sensei, then? Was he at least
reasonable?"

"Hey, Kiba -- try to not think," Naruto called.

"Huh? What, acting like you?" he asked, smirking.

Rolling his eyes, Naruto waved the insult away, warning, "Sasuke already did
that gag -- and better than you."

"Damn, _nothing_ is going my way today!" Kiba whined.

"Yeah, yeah -- but seriously. Spend a minute and try to think of nothing at
all," Naruto said, unable to keep the frustration from his voice.

"Oh, yeah," Ino remarked, nodding knowingly. "Learning to blank you mind so
that your conscious thoughts are suppressed is pretty hard at first."

"Yeah! It's totally-- Wait, you know how to do that?" Naruto wondered, staring
at the blonde in amazement.

"Figures that blondie knows how to empty her head on command," Sakura jibed.

"That's nothing," Kiba retorted, before Ino could reply. "I'll do it --
watch!" Kiba closed his eyes and took a deep breath, Akamaru looking down at
him with a remarkably doubtful expression.

Sasuke didn't even wait a full minute to ask, "So, what are you thinking
about, Kiba?"

"Akamaru," he answered, opening his eyes. "Wow -- that actually _is_ really
hard!"

"It's easy once you get the trick of it," Ino assured them, smirking. "Maybe
I'll help you guys out ... but not when Sakura's around. Since _she's_ so
smart, she can figure it out herself."

"Well, forgive _me_ for not having a clan to give me those kinds of
advantages!" Sakura snarled.

"Who knows?" Ino asked with feigned innocence. "Maybe you have an undiscovered
kekkai genkai -- or will make some sort of previously unheard of forehead-
based jutsu!"

"Oh, that's _it_!" Sakura yelled, jumping to her feet.

Shikamaru squinted up at the lights in the restaurant, then suddenly threw
both arms out -- almost hitting Ino in the chest and Sakura in the hip,
announcing, "Kagemane no jutsu ... successful."

"Shikamaru," Sakura growled, held still by the other boy. "Once I get out of
this, I will _kill_ you!"

"Yeah, stop holding me back!" Ino snapped, both girls trembling, unable to
move.

"Or maybe you two can stop making a scene in a public restaurant?" he replied
in irritation. "Pardon me if I seem to recall an entire _day_ of training
about proper behavior while _you_ two were busy sniping at one-another.

"Important update, girls -- the teachers almost certainly _know_ you two hate
each other. You're not going to be on different teams until you get over it.
As your unwillingly elected leader, I'm afraid it's my responsibility to have
to actually _do_ stuff if you get us into trouble. Don't make me do work."

Sakura and Ino both grumbled at that. Naruto felt more than a little bad for
Sakura, but then ... _he_ got stuck on a team with Sasuke. Aside from which,
Shikamaru was a cool teammate! He was pretty sure that if Ino and Sakura
managed to stop fighting for a while, they'd probably realize that, too.

"Can it be assumed that you two will behave properly and not give our teacher
cause to question our teamwork?" Shino asked, rising from his chair.

Sakura growled wordlessly, while Ino grimaced and grudgingly allowed,
"_Fine_."

"Alternately, I will drain your chakra with my kikaichu." Shino paused, and
even scuffed, Naruto was impressed with how intimidating he looked, tilting
his head slightly and causing the dark lenses of his glasses to flash like
angry mirrors. "Training with Bastard-sensei has caused them to become quite
hungry."

"Okay!" Sakura cried. "Fine -- but she started it!"

"That sounded like argument," Shikamaru noted.

"Okay, okay!" Sakura mumbled petulantly. "Just let me go, already."

Shikamaru grunted, and didn't _seem_ to do anything, but the girls were able
to move again, Ino shifting her shoulders uncomfortably, and Sakura settling
into her seat.

"So!" Kakashi asked brightly, appearing in a puff of smoke once more. "Who's
this 'Bastard-sensei'? He sounds like a real motivator!"

Naruto bit his tongue.

"He makes me want to do things, alright," Kiba grumbled.

"Aw ... my cute little student misses me!" he exclaimed. Kiba sniffed
imperiously, but Kakashi ignored him, reaching out to pat a surprisingly eager
Akamaru. "Thank you, Akamaru, but I'm afraid tomorrow ... you'll have to be
with another teacher."

Akamaru allowed a curious, slightly confused whimper in response.

"Hinata!" Kakashi exclaimed brightly, almost causing the shy girl to spill her
teacup. "Tomorrow, your team will meet with me for training! Won't that be
fun?"

"U...understood," she replied, blinking. "B...but, 'my' team?"

"Yep! See you tomorrow, my cute students!" He vanished the same way he
arrived.

"I guess this gets us Asuma tomorrow," Shikamaru sighed. "I probably shouldn't
complain ... one more day to avoid Bastard-sensei."

"Indeed," Shino said, tiredly sinking back to his seat.

Shortly after that, Kurenai showed up to announce that Shino, Kiba, and Choji
would be going with her, confirming Shikamaru's guess.

"I wonder when they'll mix up the teams again?" Choji mused. "You probably
know, right Shikamaru?"

"I can _guess_," Shikamaru allowed. "And my guess would be that every three
days -- one full rotation through our sensei -- and then they'll mix us up
again." He paused. "Unless Ino and Sakura keep fighting, in which case,
they'll probably still be stuck together."

The girls groused at that, while Hinata shook her head doubtfully.

* * *