# Kyon: Big Damn Hero

## The Resolution Arc I

### Chapter Fifty Seven: Subtle as a Sledgehammer

Disclaimer: The novel series of Suzumiya Haruhi that began with 'The
Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi' is the creation of Nagaru Tanigawa. No
disrespect is intended by the posting of this fanfiction, as I do not own the
characters or settings involved. I'm merely dabbling with another set of
paints. TVtropes (the website) is licensed under a Creative Commons
Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported License, and so is every part of this fic
that isn't the property of someone else. For example: Additional characters
are borrowed from Higurashi, which is the creation of Ryukishi07, and Half
Life 2, which is the property of Valve.

Notes: Count the tropes! Save, collect, trade for swell prizes!

* * *

"Chapter Eight: The Limits of Responsibility"

"Realistically, while you always need to do your best, there are moments when
the right thing to do is nothing. That doesn't mean 'idly stand by' -- you
have to be there for your friends -- but sometimes people can handle their own
problems, and it's best to let them do that."

"Practical Heroism and You: Awareness" -- Tadamichi Kyousuke

* * *

The Sumiyoshi-rengo, as a coalition of many smaller groups that had banded
together, was many things. It was smaller than the oppressive Yamaguchi-gumi.
It was more agile.

It was also suffering quite a bit in the region of Osaka, thanks to both the
NPA and the Yamaguchi-gumi being more aggressive. This would have been enough
of a problem if they hadn't lost face -- and manpower, equipment, weapons,
territory, and so on -- so badly recently.

Backing down would make them _look_ bad, and how could they expect to
intimidate anyone if the rumors were true, and their operations were easily
shut down by a high school student? Something was needed to recover from that
loss, before they ended up hurting themselves worse -- or causing members in
the lower and more distant ranks to wonder if they should defect to the
Yamaguchi-gumi!

Nakamura Ichiro knew that these were issues, but as it seemed a problem that
couldn't be solved easily, it had been dumped on his head to sort out. So he
had unenthusiastically taken all of the gathered reports, all the information
the Sumiyoshi-rengo had on the supposed 'Kowa-Keigo Kyon.' Things should have
been formally resolved with the Tsuruya-tachi when Fujiya Masao had formally
apologized.

He'd even explained to his superiors that was the case!

And somehow after that, one of his men had borrowed a weapon from another
branch and assaulted the Kowa-Keigo. After that, the NPA had gotten involved,
and the Sumiyoshi-rengo had lost billions of yen in potential profits.

Not for the first time, in the cramped office in the back of the pachinko
parlor that served as his headquarters until he finished his assignment, he
wondered why he had been set up. Certainly, they couldn't have expected him to
succeed! If even the esteemed Hiko had failed -- been captured, set up by the
Yamaguchi-gumi and then handed over to the police -- how was Nakamura Ichiro
to accomplish anything?

He didn't have a reputation nearly as solid as that man, after all. He was a
careful, methodical thinker ... and probably one who was being punished for a
lack of initiative by being given an impossible task. Sighing, he leaned back
in his creaking chair, swirling a glass of water in one hand and wondering how
he was going to get out of this one. Or _if_ he would, really.

Someone had to be blamed for the Sumiyoshi-rengo's recent failings, and why
wouldn't it be him, if everyone else were out of reach in the hands of the
police? Well, blaming Kowa-Keigo Kyon was a possibility, but _he_ was beyond
the Sumiyoshi-rengo's ability to punish, it seemed.

Certainly, they couldn't afford to maintain aggression with the Yamaguchi-gumi
much longer, could they?

He looked up as he heard a chuckle, and one of the street guards opened the
door without knocking, looking especially smug. "Boss," the man said, nodding
to the figures behind him. "We got a guest who wants to talk to you."

Ichiro blinked slowly, taking in the smaller forms standing behind the guards.
A pair of schoolgirls? One of them looked particularly average, except for her
flat expression; the other was taller, grinning with only the faintest hint of
nervousness in her expression. Something about her height and demeanor seemed
familiar, somehow....

"...and?" he prompted, looking back to the first guard.

"Says she's Kowa-Keigo Kyon's fiancee," the second said. "So -- do we want to
have some 'fun' with them? We already promised to show them a good time!"

Ichiro blinked slowly again. "Certainly," he drawled. "Drinks on the house --
a few hundred yen of free pachinko balls-- Whatever our guests would like!" He
very much doubted two random schoolgirls would show up, one of them making
that claim. And if they did, if he failed laughably, letting himself be taken
in by ordinary high-school students ... well, it was a bit of a long shot, but
if he was so pathetic that it wasn't _worth_ keeping in the current position
long enough to punish him....

On the other hand, if she was who she claimed, and that small girl was the one
he'd heard of fighting at the Kowa-Keigo's side-- If that were the case,
trying something as stupid as the guards were suggesting would end
nightmarishly badly. That in mind, he eyed the guards, who looked at him with
mild surprise. "Er," the first one started. "Boss--"

"Would you like something to drink, young ladies?" Ichiro asked, cutting the
guard off. "Where are my manners? These times strain civility, don't they?"

The heiress belted out a laugh-- Oh, right. He'd _heard_ of that. She was
probably the real thing!

"A real gentleman after all, eh?" she chortled. "Just water or tea is fine--
So nice to deal with someone polite!"

"We are a reasonable organization," he returned. "Please, go ahead and have a
seat -- make yourselves comfortable, if you're not interested in playing any
games."

"Uh," the second guard said slowly, looking befuddled. "B...boss, if this is
her, we're at _war_, aren't we? Shouldn't we--"

"Be reasonable when they come to parley, like the civilized ninkyo dantai that
we are?" Ichiro interrupted the not-very-bright guard, furrowing his brow.
"Now, now-- We're far too respectable to do something so foolish it would
cause the Yamaguchi-gumi to need to come into Osaka, the heart of our
territory, for revenge ... aren't we?"

"Uh-- Tea," the guard said quickly, nodding as he backed away. His companion
looked puzzled, but likewise nodded and backed away, the pair of them letting
the door shut.

Ichiro raised a hand to his face and sighed. "My apologies for their
behavior," he said, bowing his head. "Good help is hard to keep from being
thrown away in a pointless attack on your ... fiance." What a strange thing to
say!

The heiress chuckled again, seeming to relax as she surveyed the office. "I'm
glad you're being reasonable about this," she remarked.

"Well," Ichiro said slowly, "we seem to have a poor record when it comes to
encounters between our forces."

The heiress shrugged, her grin widening the tiniest bit. "Kyon-kun's pretty
good," she agreed, before dropping comfortably into one of the two seats
opposite Ichiro's desk. The other girl blinked, then quietly followed suit.

The guard returned hesitantly, bearing a tea service and still looking
confused. After squeezing around the smaller girl's chair, he set it on the
desk and retreated the way he came.

Ichiro poured tea into the waiting cups and then took one. "Now -- since you
came all this way ... what can I do for you?"

"I like you!" the heiress cheered, grabbing a cup and hefting it, then pausing
and glancing at her companion.

The shorter girl examined the cup, not reaching up to touch it, then gave a
tiny nod.

"You're being very helpful, so far!" she continued, sipping at her cup
politely before setting it back down. "However.... As bad as things are, while
Kyon-kun is pretty amazing, we really have other things to worry about. So --
I want to ask if it's possible to make this whole thing stop.

"Quietly, of course! Hmm, so, it's difficult, but our kumichou is content to
let things continue as they are. I don't want to go against him, but it's
troublesome for Kyon-kun if things continue like this."

"...troublesome?" Ichiro wondered aloud. They were sending _hit squads_ after
the boy, and his fiancee was treating it like a _nuisance_?

"Mmm, yeah! They interfere with study time and dating!" the heiress said, her
expression becoming very solemn. "He has to worry about his friends, too! Well
... I've probably given a lot away about how much we're not enjoying this
little 'war', but it would be very good if we could solve things, somehow!"

Ichiro nodded. Okay, sure. This whole thing was surreal. He was probably
actually still dreaming. Or maybe the stress had gotten to him, and he'd
snapped. "I'm mostly here as a scapegoat, myself," he said, returning the
girl's candor. "You know, make someone take responsibility for all the
failures we've had against you recently."

"Well, you have ceremonial powers, undoubtedly," Tsuruya said, shaking her
head. "Something to justify your position. Right?"

"That, I do," he agreed. "But I can't imagine I can do much to help here. If I
were to try and make a public apology, or otherwise say, 'We need to dismiss
this animosity,' then my superiors would undoubtedly denounce me-- Well, I
expect they're planning that _anyway_." He sighed morosely, raising his tea
and sipping at it -- and quickly putting it back down.

They really needed fresher tea!

"What if a third party were implicated as responsible for starting the
animosity?" the quiet girl posed.

Ichiro blinked, furrowing his brow. "You mean ... something like the NPA
trying to trick us into fighting one another?" he asked.

She gave a tiny nod, while the heiress raised her eyebrows.

"Well, that's a thought," he allowed, settling back into his chair. "It might
help a _little_, but there's still the question of us losing as much as we
have so far. And the NPA may be a common enemy, but this isn't particularly
their style."

"So ... what do you know about 'Saki-nyan?" Tsuruya wondered.

Ichiro took a moment to decipher the nickname, recalling, "Ah-- Yes, let's see
... a girl who was supposed to be important to the Kowa-Keigo in some way? A
lot of recent operations -- er, they were Hiko's, not mine -- were centered
around trying to kidnap her and use her for leverage. I'm not really sure why
she's so important, myself."

"Hmm.... But where did the idea of going after her come from?"

That was a good question. "I'm trying to remember," Ichiro said slowly. "Let's
see ... we worked with an independent group -- a shady bunch which, well ...
for us, is saying a bit. Anyway, the original deal was that they wanted our
assistance capturing her. In exchange, they would help us use her as leverage
against the Kowa-Keigo."

"Well, she's my friend, and I'd like that to stop," the heiress remarked,
mildly cross.

"I'd like us to stop wasting men trying to capture her," he agreed quickly.
"But ... what's your plan, then? Blame those people who wanted her captured
for causing this mess between us? Have a public meeting where I approach
someone from your group and we trade information, implicating them?"

"Yes," the quiet girl agreed. "You have been manipulated."

Rubbing his head, Ichiro pondered it. Some way or another, the Sumiyoshi-rengo
had to pass the blame on. Since the idea of _him_ being a scapegoat didn't
particularly seem like his idea of a good time, blaming someone _else_....
Well, that had a certain appeal to it.

"I don't have much information on those people from my own side of things," he
said slowly. "But if I approach you -- publicly -- for an information
exchange, I suppose you could fill in those gaps?"

"I'll check with Mori-san, but I believe so!"

Ichiro had no idea who that was. "Well, that's all fine by me ... but is this
really what happened?" he wondered. "I mean -- you're saying this is only a
problem because of this other group we worked with?"

"Partially," the smaller girl said quietly. "Another outside force acted to
cause further problems to your group and promote aggression between you and
our organization."

This was fascinating stuff! "Who? And ... what did they want?"

"To cause him stress and see how he would react," the girl replied, blinking.
"And cause further interactions for the purposes of observation."

"...you're telling me that all of these problems have the root cause of
someone wanting to see how one high school aged boy reacts to stress?" Ichiro
asked, squinting. That somehow seemed a very far-fetched story.

"Not just him, but his other girlfriends, too," the heiress clarified.

"...right," Ichiro said slowly. 'Other' girlfriends? "Thinking about things,
as confusing as it is, I don't need to understand if I can point to someone
else and let my superiors handle things. And if I can broker peace between us
with no further animosity, that's great, too. So, how would you like to handle
this, then?"

"Hmm, so, Saturday," the heiress said slowly.

The shorter girl shook her head a tiny distance.

"Oh-- Right!" the heiress exclaimed, miming a blow to her head. "I forgots!
Okay, then on Monday! On Monday, come to meet with my father at Tsuruya
Towers, and say you want to resolve things peacefully, and you think that
you've been tricked into fighting us. If you do that, even the kumichou would
hear you out -- and with Kyon-kun and Mori-san there to fill in the blanks,
that should suffice." She clapped her hands together, smiling. "So! If that
works, can you not try and kidnap Saki-nyan again? It's terribly upsetting
when these things happen, you know!"

"I ... can only imagine," Ichiro agreed. "I'll promise not to authorize any
further actions against you personally, but ... well, being largely a
figurehead, I can't guarantee there won't be other hot-headed upstarts who
might try something before we make an official deal. I sincerely apologize for
my lack of ability in that regard." Hell, he'd bow and scrape, if she asked!
From where he sat, fighting was pointless-- The most that he could possibly
accomplish by letting his men attack the pair was _really_ upsetting the Kowa-
Keigo.

Even if the boy didn't have superhuman abilities, Ichiro didn't have the
stomach to take hostages -- not when it would bring the wrath of the entire
Yamaguchi-gumi down on their heads. If they were at 'war', and the other group
was largely indifferent, content to let Ichiro's allies throw themselves away
on futile attacks....

Shaking his head, he swore, "The sooner we can get this resolved, the better.
I'll do everything within my power to achieve peace between our groups."

"Good!" the heiress exclaimed, bouncing to her feet. "Very good! I will see
you on Monday!"

Ichiro rose, nodding. "Understood," he replied. "And let me add, I'm very
happy that the heiress of the Tsuruya-gumi prefers such tolerant and forgiving
methods. I hope that our organizations can work together peaceably in years to
come."

She chuckled, face reddening slightly. "Aha, well, hopefully it will be a long
times before my father retires," she replied. "But yes, I would be happy for
peace, too!"

"Let me walk you to the door, just in case any of my men get stupid ideas,"
Ichiro said belatedly, stepping around the desk and opening the office door.
If this was a crazy dream ... it was worlds better than his reality!

* * *

Spending some time relaxing and chatting about inconsequential things with
Haruhi and Kyon.... Sasaki felt a bit guilty about taking time away from
Tsuruya, when she undoubtedly wanted to be with her fiance, too-- But ... even
if it was a bit selfish, and she couldn't have more than she had -- just being
friends....

And of course, afterward, everyone but Mikuru had left her place together, so
Sasaki didn't even feel _that_ out of place for being escorted home. After
all, they were going as a group!

"Thank you for inviting me to spend time with you and the others, Suzumiya-
san," she remembered to say belatedly. "Dinner was amazing! Asahina-san must
have spent considerable effort learning how to cook so well! I'm impressed
with your contributions as well, Michikyuu-chan!"

"Aw, ah, heh," the younger girl managed from Haruhi's side, blushing faintly.
"T-thanks, Sasaki-san! Um, but you can call me Kanae-chan!"

"And while we're on that subject, Sasaki-chan, just 'Haruhi' is fine -- we're
friends, after all, right?" Haruhi added.

Sasaki giggled, slightly nervous. "T...that's true. We'd have to be after that
... adventure we had together!" she mused, rubbing the wrist that she'd had
cuffed to Haruhi's. Now, _that_ had been a strange experience! "I think, other
than Kyon, it's been a long time since I had a friend I could consider myself
so close to."

"Friends," Haruhi corrected, smirking. "Now say it -- it's not _that_ hard.
'Ha-ru-hi'. Kyon says it all the time! And I never gave _him_ permission!"

"Didn't know I needed it," Kyon returned dryly, smirking.

Haruhi's confidence flashed to a brief look of surprise before she scowled.
"I'll let you get away with it," she agreed. "But, come on, Sasaki-chan."

"Alright, Haruhi-chan," Sasaki laughed.

"Hey!" Kanae cried, pouting. "What about me?"

"And you, too, Kanae-chan!" she agreed, nodding at the smaller girl, unable to
resist grinning.

"That's more like it," Haruhi said smugly, shooting Kyon a mild glare, not
able to conceal her amusement completely. He casually laced his fingers behind
his head and stared up at the sky, pretending not to notice.

Sasaki had to chuckle at the interplay, and Kanae giggled as well.

"Ah, but more seriously," Haruhi said, her expression sobering. "Hmm, it may
not be simple, but I had a thought -- something that might make things a bit
easier for us all."

"What's that?" Sasaki returned, curious. "Considering what you all have done
for me so far, I can't imagine it would be too much to ask for!"

"I'm glad you say that, because ... what do you think about changing schools
and coming to Kitago with us?" Haruhi posed, looking completely serious.

"I--" Sasaki cut herself off before she could protest. What were her
arguments? She'd invested time and effort in her current school? Her mother
would be confused and irritated? It could hurt her grades to transfer so close
to the end of the quarter?

All of that weighed against:

She'd be taking classes with Haruhi? (And Kyon, of course!) And she'd _asked_
to work with them, hadn't she? If that was her first 'task,' given what they'd
been through for _her_....

"I'll get to work on that straight away," she declared, when Kyon and Kanae
turned to join Haruhi's curious stare.

"Really?" Kyon wondered, surprised as he scratched his head. "That's-- I mean
... just like that?"

"It certainly seems the most reasonable route!" she returned, shaking her
head. "Certainly, it would be less trouble for you and Haruhi-chan! Well ... I
hope it's not too much trouble, but once I'm transferred, can I ask for help
studying?"

"Naturally," Haruhi answered, before Kyon could even respond. "I study with
Kyon regularly! No _way_ am I going to let his grades slip to the point his
mom makes him drop out of the club!"

Then naturally, Sasaki vowed to herself, _she_ would be part of that effort,
too! That 'club' was _very_ important to her already! As scary and upsetting
as things had been lately, the promise of that instilled her with too much
confidence and happiness to let herself feel down!

They had reached the gate to her home at that point. Though she was eager to
rush inside and share her news, she also wanted to give her sincere farewells
to those who had gone through the trouble to walk here there!

After waving goodbye to the trio, she opened the gate, feeling light on her
feet. As soon as she had opened the door and kicked her shoes off, she
immediately announced to her mother, "I'm dropping out of my school tomorrow
to transfer to Kitago!"

"But ... Sasaki-chan ... why?" her mother asked, looking bewildered. "Your
current school is rated better!"

"Well, Kyon is there, and ... it came up that we should study together," she
said pragmatically. "Things at the current school haven't particularly been
working out as well."

Her mother put her hands on her hips, brow furrowing in concern. "This seems a
bit sudden, Sasaki-chan -- don't you at least want to finish the quarter?" she
objected, shaking her head slowly. "I do approve of that young man, but this
is a bit much!"

"Well...." She faltered, realizing that on the face of things, it _was_ a bit
sudden. And telling her mother something like, 'it's part of my initiation
into Kyon's organized crime syndicate!' wasn't likely to make things go
smoother. "I've decided to aim for the same college as Kyon in any case."

"But I think you might be able to do better than that! It's nice that you're
willing to put that effort into staying at his side, but shouldn't _he_ be
working hard and transferring to join _you_?"

She bit her tongue, her smile vanishing. "My current school used to be an all-
boys school until very recently," she reminded her mother. "While it has a
good reputation and I can generally fend for myself, I can also expect far
less harassment at the new school."

Her mother's protest died in her throat. "W...well.... I don't ... like that
you're being bullied out of the school you worked so hard to get into, but ...
I suppose I can't really _stop_ you from making your own choices on high
school...."

Not, Sasaki thought, that it would slow her down much! Unfortunately, even if
it wasn't really her classmates, there _were_ legitimate issues of
'harassment'.

"But, Sasaki-chan, why didn't you ever mention that other students were
bothering you?"

"I just ... didn't want to say anything until I had something else arranged,"
Sasaki managed, sighing. "But ... thanks to Kyon and his friends promising to
help me study...."

"Already with a study group arranged?" Sasaki's mother mused, raising one
eyebrow, then sighing and shaking her head. "Well, I suppose that's fine,
then...." Her expression suggested she wasn't convinced -- but wasn't going to
put up more of a fight.

Sasaki unleashed a tiny breath she hadn't realized she was holding -- success!

* * *

Tsuruya was almost astounded at how successful she'd been; she had been afraid
it would break down into a fight! Using Yuki like that, well ... it didn't sit
well with her. She could only _imagine_ how upset Kyon would be if she'd gone
to handle it alone, especially if she made a mistake.

Or her father and the kumichou -- she doubted they'd be pleased with her,
either. That whole affair had the chance of going wrong badly enough that if
she escaped, it'd be grounds for another distinction!

"Yuki-nyan," she said, relaxing in the back seat of the taxi headed back to
her mansion, "I don't know that I can ever pay you back! I hope dinner will
suffice for a start, but I am honestly in your debt!"

"It is nothing," the smaller girl replied almost without hesitation. Tsuruya
snorted and grabbed Yuki in a hug -- she was so cute! Like a doll! "I am his
subordinate, and he is your subordinate. Therefore, I am your subordinate,
too."

"Well, technically," Tsuruya allowed. "But in realities, I still owe you! So
-- what would it take to pay you back?"

"I am ... glad to help," Yuki replied slowly, leaning into the hug. "There is
no need."

"If that changes, you must lets me know!" Tsuruya insisted, grinning.
Releasing her from the embrace, she held Yuki at arm's length, looking her in
the eye. "Promise, okay?"

After a moment, Yuki haltingly raised her right hand, pinky finger extended.
"Promise."

Tsuruya nodded firmly, and linked pinkies with Yuki. "Where did you learn
that?" she giggled, as they shook on it, sealing the promise.

"Asakura," Yuki answered quietly.

"Hmm?" Tsuruya mused, tilting her head to one side. "So you talk with her a
lot?"

"We communicate," Yuki agreed, as they let their hands drop. "Her insight is
... different. Likewise, on some occasions she requires my input to understand
things."

"So you two work together and share what's going on? That's great! I bet Nono-
chan would be happy to hear that! She adores the chibi, so if you're
friends...."

She trailed off, distracted by a thought as the taxi pulled to a stop before
the driveway of Tsuruya's home. The driver turned around, but before he could
even announce the fare, someone knocked on his window. Tsuruya started as he
rolled his window down, and the voice of her fiance softly announced, "I'll
cover the charge."

"...oops," she allowed, wincing.

* * *

When she wasn't busy enjoying the benefits of persistent observation and
improved communication, Kuyou was experimenting with the grand alchemy of
cookie creation. Even if she retained records of the entire process from start
to finish at the sub-atomic level, doing it again and watching the resultant
interactions remained fascinating.

And when it was done, she could observe the effects of eating it on her
biological form -- a new novelty, thanks to Mikuru and Kyon explaining how to
chew things. It was a bit of a shift from what she was used to, just letting
the mass fall in ... but at her current form's projected scale, that didn't
work very well. So the 'chewing' and 'swallowing' thing made sense!

The thing that puzzled her was the fact that she'd offered Kyon cookies, but
hadn't gotten to participate in the entanglement she'd observed him engaging
with others. Ryouko hadn't offered much insight into that, other than agreeing
that Kuyou's logic for causing the effect _seemed_ sound.

Then again, Kuyou's counterpart went off on a grumbling tangent about not
really understanding _why_ Kuyou wanted it to happen, until she explained that
neither of them could determine if it was positive or negative without
participating in it. Then the data entity grudgingly agreed that Kuyou had a
point, and based on Nagato Yuki's reactions, they should try and observe more
directly as well.

However, Ryouko's current physical size (and status as a projection) made her
a poor candidate.

From within a shadow song where she had assembled the components required for
'baking' (that amazing transformative process!), Kuyou pondered. The shadow
song was very small; it would take light only a half-dozen million rotations
to cross.

Some day, she would have to show it to Mikuru, and ask her for guidance. The
time-entangled being had explained that the important thing was the
proportions. That worked well for Kuyou. Measure could be tricky; everything
was at such a fine scale compared to what she was used to that it was very
difficult to judge. If she only compared it to itself, then it was much
simpler!

Despite that, when she tried to merge simple masses of sugar, brown sugar,
flour, and everything else she needed -- spheroids only as far across as light
could travel in a mere thousand rotations -- it didn't work the way she'd
hoped. That was a sufficient quantity, wasn't it? Except that strange effects
that were much less pronounced when Mikuru did it became evident.

After mixing in the other components at the correct ratio, then arraying it in
a layer the correct distance from the sun for the right amount of time, she
ended up consistently getting something very cookie-_like_, but it somehow
wasn't quite _right_, either.

She'd tried to ask Ryouko if she had any insight, but the entity had only
returned, "Sorry, we need to work on that communication gap; it looks like
you're trying to work with a ball of sugar that's twenty times as far across
as the Earth is wide."

Well, Mikuru had said that proportion was the key, so Kuyou still didn't
understand why that would be problematic.

So she surveyed the masses as they collided and mixed at her direction -- and
sure enough, at that scale it didn't work.

Scale was so hard without reference!

Annoyed that it still wasn't working the way she wanted, she decided to meet
with Ryouko to consult with her again. Being physically present often helped
when communication wasn't working well. Thanks to Sasaki's observation, she
needed to wait until a time when she wasn't present around Kyon; she was
confident that an opportunity would arise soon enough.

In fact, from what Kuyou could observe via Ryouko, Kyon had just finished a
session of the entanglement that Kuyou wanted to try with Suzumiya Haruhi and
the Other that tried to harmonize -- Michikyuu Kanae.

She felt the all-too-familiar surge of clarity that accompanied the Chorus
synchronizing her to the location in space at Kyon's side. He froze, preparing
to leap from the rooftop he was standing on, looking at her curiously.

"Chuou-san?" He shook his head, one hand rubbing at the side of his face.
"_Suou_-san, I mean -- sorry about that. My sister's.... Well, I guess you
know."

Kuyou tilted her head very slightly to one side, thinking. Kyon's sister --
'Imouto-chan', or 'Magical Radiant Nonoko', according to Ryouko -- was
interesting to observe and interact with. "I like Imouto-chan," she said,
feeling the words out.

Yes, that was accurate.

...it didn't hurt that she enjoyed Kuyou's cookies, even when Kuyou was
doubtful they were as good as Mikuru's.

Kyon raised his eyebrows, then smiled. "I can't really be surprised that my
sister gets along with beings like you and Ryouko can I? I said at one point
she reminded me of Haruhi enough I shouldn't worry about her so much ... and I
guess that's true!"

Kuyou nodded firmly in agreement.

"Anyway," Kyon said, shaking his head abruptly. "What can I do for you, Suou-
san?"

Hmmm.... She hadn't observed a plan to achieve her desired effect. She turned
to Ryouko, perched on his shoulder. The blue-haired data entity blinked, then
returned a data packet that she had marked as potentially interesting, but not
enough to raise alarms.

After decoding it, Kuyou explained, "Nagato Yuki and Tsuruya Haruka have
engaged with potentially hostile forces."

Kyon twitched slightly, his gaze hardening. "Really?" he growled. "Alright--
I'm confident in Yuki-chan, but if they're in danger--"

"No danger," Ryouko chirped. "Yuki-chama decided to go with Churuya's plan to
try and appeal to the Sumiyoshi-rengo's sense of reason! They're on their way
back from Osaka right now!"

Kyon froze, blinking repeatedly. "I ... see," he said, frowning. Straightening
up, he ran a hand through his hair and sighed. "I trust both of them, but why
didn't they tell me anything? And I don't really want to interfere ... but
damn it, I can't _not_ worry!"

Kuyou nodded. "Worry about important entities," she agreed.

"Alright -- thanks for the warning, Suou-san. I should probably go meet with
Tsuruya-hime once she gets back to her place so I can try and talk things over
with her -- at least make sure she's okay.... Well, no, I'm sure she'll be
fine thanks to Yuki-chan, but that's not the point."

Kuyou could help with that! She held a hand out, offering, "Travel?"

He hesitated a moment, then gave her a warm smile -- now _that_ was an effect
more interesting than even making cookies! What an amazing sensation! She
wanted to feel it again, so when he took her hand and she warped space, she
was extra mindful of the precautions that Yuki and Ryouko had explained human
bodies needed against some of the subatomic particles that evidently weren't
helpful to most physical forms at that scale.

It was worth it, though!

* * *

After Kuyou transitioned the pair of them to the roof of Tsuruya's house, he
gave her another smile. He wasn't even feeling the teleports at all, anymore!
"Thanks, Suou-san -- and ... since Ryouko didn't say anything herself, thanks
for letting me know about Tsuruya-hime and Yuki-chan doing this."

Though, teleporting to a rooftop might normally be a bit odd, if they were on
another rooftop to begin with, it wasn't _that_ strange.

He hopped to the ground, not surprised when Kuyou followed him. He was _also_
not surprised when Shinobu appeared -- that woman was absolutely a ninja --
and gave him a polite greeting. "Kyon-dono, I'm afraid that Haruka-chan isn't
in at the moment. Is there something I can help you with?"

"Er, I know that Tsuruya-hime is out," Kyon sighed, scratching the back of his
head anxiously. "Ah ... I was hoping to wait until she got back from Osaka to
talk to her."

"Ah," Shinobu said quietly, looking mildly anxious. "Haruka-chan does mean
well," she said softly.

"I know ... and this isn't about giving her grief," Kyon agreed, wondering --
not for the first time -- what exactly her relationship with Tsuruya _was_.
"I'm just worried, you know? We rely on one another, and while it's great she
relies on Yuki-chan, too, I wish she'd let me know.

"Or ... maybe I'm overstepping my bounds. I'm only a saiko-komon, aren't I?"
he realized with dismay. "I suppose if my oyabun makes a decision and doesn't
feel the need to tell me, I don't have a right to question it?"

Shinobu hesitated, then raised a hand to her lower lip. "As.... That is, as a
saiko-komon, your subservience to her should be absolute," the maid agreed
quietly. "But does _family_ not come first? As her fiance, _you_ are correct,
and it is _I_ who have overstepped my bounds by suggesting otherwise." The
woman gave a small sound -- an awkward half laugh. "I must apologize, Kyon-
dono -- you are handling this rightly."

"E...er, thanks," he said, taken aback.

"Is there anything that I can offer to help you, in the meantime?" the woman
asked, one hand dabbing at her eyes. Looking to Kuyou, she pursed her lips.
"Or perhaps you, young lady? You must have been in a kitchen recently --
you've gotten sugar and flour all over yourself."

Kyon realized he hadn't even noticed in the evening light ... that girl did
seem to love her cookies. Now that she was standing beneath a light on the
Tsuruya estate, the powder across her outfit, face, and hair was very obvious.

Kuyou's head tilted slightly to one side, a fine dusting of her baking
ingredients sifting down from her hair.

Well, he supposed she'd needed to learn how to eat. Probably, forgetting to
bathe frequently could be an issue, too. "Do you want to take a bath, Suou-
san?" he asked. "There's probably time for that, really."

She gave an abrupt nod and reached out, taking Ryouko from his shoulders and
cradling her gently. The small data entity flailed her arms, then said, "We'll
be back!"

If Shinobu thought it was strange that Kuyou appeared to be holding an
invisible entity, she didn't say anything -- though Kyon was relatively
certain she was just trying to keep Kuyou occupied and distracted for when he
met Tsuruya.

Well, that was reasonable enough, all things considered, wasn't it? Though, it
wasn't like he was going to _yell_ at Tsuruya.... He wasn't angry, just ...
worried. And it wasn't like she and the others didn't worry about _him_, after
all, was it?

He settled in to think about things and wait. He could see Shinobu really
worried about Tsuruya ... well, she wasn't the only one!

Still.... Feeling a bit restless, he bounded up to the rooftop of the archway
leading into the compound, watching for her return. Only a few minutes passed
before a taxi pulled up to the driveway, and he hopped to the ground, knocking
on the driver-side window. He couldn't see them through the windows, but
considering Shinobu's care at being discreet about things, quickly paid the
driver anyway.

It was strange to have as much money as he did, considering how rarely he
spent it, but he _was_ getting paid regularly, after all! In short order, the
driver was headed away, leaving him alone on the street with Tsuruya and Yuki.

The shorter girl looked up at him without flinching, while Tsuruya blushed and
giggled nervously. "Shall we go in?" he asked, gesturing to the gate.

"Ah, y...yeah," Tsuruya chuckled. "Um, so.... What brings you by, Kyon-kun?"
she asked as they walked to the gate and it opened for her.

"Well, I was worried about you," he said with a shrug. "I mean ... that's
really all there is to it."

"I...it was nothing, though," Tsuruya said, shaking her head. "No reason to
worry about me!"

"Well, worrying doesn't have to be reasonable to happen," he countered.
Looking around to see that no one was eavesdropping, he added, "And anyway,
Suou-san and Ryouko already told me what you were up to."

"A...ah," Tsuruya sighed. "Um...."

"I'm not ... here to give you a hard time or make you feel bad," he said
quietly. "I just ... care about you a lot. Both of you. Even though I know
you're really good at what you do, and that Yuki-chan can keep you safe, I
still worry. It doesn't matter that it's safe or not, and...." He trailed off.
"Actually, how did it go?"

"Really well!" Tsuruya said quickly, closing the gate behind them. "Um -- so
we should have a meeting on Monday and have everything put behind us!"

"That is great," he agreed. "I ... wish I'd known it was that easy!"

"...you're really not mad?" Tsuruya asked softly, looking anxious.

Now _that_ was a surprise.

"I ... just learned today that seeing Tsuruya-hime's face when she's not
smiling makes me sad," Kyon mused, offering her a weak smile of his own. "But,
no. How could I be mad? Didn't I try and do the same thing? Well -- something
really close, anywa--" He was cut off as the taller girl suddenly crashed into
him, her arms wrapping around him.

"Sorry," she said again, her face pressed into his chest, fingers gripping his
greatcoat. "I just ... I had to do _something_ about them upsetting my
precious people! They were stressing you, and so...."

"I...it's fine," he said, still a bit surprised. "I mean ... you did it
because you cared, right? I guess-- I guess I'm just glad it came to light,
though.... And next time, let us know -- we can have everyone ready to help
out!"

"Sorries," Tsuruya sighed, still not moving to let go.

"Really, Tsuruya-hime," he said gently, looking up beseechingly at Yuki, who
was watching the pair of them -- did she look _amused_? "...Yuki-chan ... did
you know it was going to work out like this?"

She shook her head gently. "Investigating IDSE tampering," she said quietly.

_That_ was unexpected! "And you didn't tell us?" he asked, frowning gently.

Unexpectedly, Yuki looked away, silently stepping forward and joining the hug
with Tsuruya. "...sorry," she said quietly.

Kyon sighed, shaking his head as Tsuruya giggled, shifting to one side and
making room. "Oopsie?" she posed.

"Well, let's just be careful and none of us do something like this again," he
chuckled. "And I suppose we should thank Suou-san for pointing this out, huh?"

"Yes," Yuki agreed, while Tsuruya nodded wordlessly, the pair finally
releasing him from the hug.

"Really ... that was the only thing I wanted to talk to you about," Kyon said,
shrugging. "But, I guess it _is_ a lesson I have to be sure to apply to myself
as well."

"Will you join us for dinner?" Tsuruya asked. "I have to repays Yuki-nyan for
her help, after all ... and maybe Suou-san, too?"

"I already ate, but I would be glad to keep you company," he offered. Shaking
his head, he muttered, "Shinobu-san decided Suou-san needed a bath after her
last baking experiment. But she might want something to eat, too, right?"

"A bath?" Tsuruya wondered. "Hmm.... Except for the cosplay, I've never seen
her in anything but a school outfit and a swimsuit. Does she have extra
clothes?"

Somehow, Kyon doubted it. "Good question...."

* * *

Yuki didn't mind whatever Tsuruya's cook brought them. Mikuru was a better
cook by far, but the food was still 'good' in any case. It was also with Kyon
and Tsuruya, even if he only had tea. Kuyou's presence wasn't unwelcome
either; Yuki had already told the other entity she regarded her as a friend,
and that much was still true.

After all, even if Kuyou's interaction in this instance was slight compared to
what had been done in the past, she'd helped the others out substantially.

The four of them were seated comfortably at the table, both Kyon and Tsuruya
rather distracted by Kuyou. The other entity had washed -- incidentally
washing Ryouko with her -- and then Tsuruya's maid had determined that her
clothes needed to be washed.

Yuki or Kuyou herself could have handled that without troubling the woman, but
Yuki found the results interesting -- if not quite as fascinating as Tsuruya
and Kyon seemed to. After she'd come out of the bath, Shinobu had helped Kuyou
dress in one of Tsuruya's many spare kimono, and spent some time putting a
flower in her hair.

"Kuyou-nyan, you look like a princess!" Tsuruya finally judged, snapping a
half-dozen pictures with her phone.

Yuki's references suggested that wasn't far off, and likely Ryouko (perched on
Kuyou's shoulder) had suggested Kuyou sit the way she had, kneeling instead of
crossing her legs beneath her.

"It ... isn't a bad look," Kyon agreed hesitantly, offering a smile. "Reminds
me of her costume for Haruhi's flash-mob, actually."

Kuyou perked up slightly at that.

After enjoying the meal -- technically, the company, more than the food, but
Yuki had read that both components made the meal -- Kyon checked his PDA and
grimaced. "Alright," he sighed. "I should probably get home. As much as we
talk about worrying people, I imagine my parents must be getting worried about
me, too."

"Help?" Kuyou offered, drifting to her feet with a hopeful expression.

Tsuruya giggled again. "I'm glad she's our friend -- even when she's not a
chibi, she's adorable, isn't she?" she remarked.

"Er, I guess," Kyon allowed, nodding. "Thanks for the offer, Suou-san --
that'd save me a bit of trouble."

"I will go as well," Yuki decided. Friends did help friends after all, didn't
they?

"Alright--" Kyon broke off as he rose, and Tsuruya lunged at him -- not
knocking him over, but occupying his attention before she kissed him. Kuyou
watched with wide eyes, obviously keenly interested.

"Um," he coughed, once Tsuruya finally broke the kiss. "Uh-- Thanks...."

"No problems," she returned with a wink. "Hmm, we need to tell Haru-nyan what
really happened today, but.... Well! Tomorrow I will give you a rides to
school, as we always do on Fridays!" she determined, nodding.

"Okay," Kyon said, a little unsteady as Yuki took one of his hands and nodded
to Kuyou.

She took his other hand without hesitation, and Yuki observed that Kuyou took
painstaking care to avoid lethal levels of radiation for the transition --
straight to the porch of Kyon's home.

He shook his head and gave Yuki a grateful smile. "Thanks, Yuki-chan," he said
earnestly, tugging gently to try and get her to release his hand.

Instead of letting go, she shifted closer and rose on her toes. He balked at
first, then gave a resigned half-shrug and leaned down into the kiss. As
always, she felt like her body might float away while she enjoyed the contact
with him--

Her internal chronometer momentarily desynchronized for the duration, and she
finally released his hand. She wasn't good at expressing herself, but could
tell he could read her attempt at a smile anyway. "That ... was a little
awkward with Suou-san still holding my other hand," he mumbled sheepishly.

She couldn't really understand why he'd think that-- Still, Kuyou had waited
long enough, so moved to take Yuki's place. "W-wait!" he protested, eyes going
wide. "That-- Uh, I mean--"

"It is fine," Yuki said, mildly puzzled by his resistance. Hadn't Kuyou done
enough to help them already?

"W...well," he hedged, still held by Kuyou's grip as he tugged at his collar
with his free hand, trying not to look down at her upturned face. "That.... Oh
... fine," he sighed, shaking his head and giving a weak smile.

He mumbled a familiar phrase before gazing down-- Yuki had some sympathy for
the other entity when their lips contacted and her eyes become unfocused,
drifting shut. The boy ended up putting an arm around her before she could
collapse, struggling to process the sensation. From her revised perch on the
dark-haired entity's head, next to the decorative flower Shinobu had picked
out, Ryouko exclaimed in surprise, hopping toward Yuki.

Instead of letting her fall, Yuki caught the tiny form -- impervious or not.
Haruhi had mentioned positive reinforcement anyway, and hadn't Ryouko been
well-behaved lately?

Kyon finally broke the kiss, holding Kuyou in his arms until she found the
strength to stand, smiling widely. Well, _that_ was an easy enough reaction to
read. Not that she had to, given Ryouko's reaction to it across the link she
shared with Kuyou.

"There," Kyon declared, stepping away. "That ... will probably need to be
brought up with Haruhi, too," he said, his face slightly red. "Oh ... boy."
Then he muttered that phrase again and shook his head before saying, "Good
night, to both of you -- and ... thanks again, Suou-san, er.... I guess Kuyou-
san, and Yuki-chan."

How interesting. The designation that wasn't her, shifted into that slightly
different alignment, provoked a reaction not _entirely_ unlike the mild
physical entanglement from earlier! He took Ryouko from Yuki and stepped into
the house, waving to the pair before he vanished.

Kuyou abruptly snapped to attention once he was out of sight, blinking once
before turning an inquisitive gaze to Yuki and asking, "Where is, 'the special
hell'?"

"Unknown," Yuki admitted.

"I must find it so that when he goes there, I can go with him."

Yuki nodded in agreement. "We will search together," she promised.

* * *

As much as Kyon was getting used to waking up with other people in his bed --
something strange to wake up to, after all -- he continued to be impressed at
how often he could still be surprised.

Mikuru and Yuki? No complaints -- that was actually a really fun pair to wake
up with!

The time traveler cuddling Kuyou's 'chibi' form to her chest, and Yuki holding
Ryouko the same way?

That was not expected -- but he had to admit, even the once-murderous data-
entity managed to look cute and harmless, just dozing in Yuki's arms.

Was it possible to overdose on cuteness? If it was, he'd probably already died
of it.

Mikuru's eyes fluttered open slowly and she squirmed, pulling the small black-
haired figure tight against her chest. Kuyou blinked silently, and Kyon had to
suppress a moment of jealousy. "Good morning, Kyon-kun," Mikuru said quietly,
offering a shy smile.

"Good morning, Mikuru," he replied. Looking over, he saw Yuki's eyes open as
well, only Ryouko evidently asleep. "Good morning to you, too, Yuki-chan, and,
um, Kuyou-san."

"Yes," Yuki agreed, as she usually did.

Kuyou nodded silently, and he heard the warning step of his sister's footsteps
before they vanished -- Ryouko dropping a short distance to sprawl on the bed
at his side as he sat up.

"Waah," the small data entity noised, climbing upright.

Did she even need to sleep?

"Morning!" his sister cheered, bursting into the room, looking around quickly.

Realizing she was trying to catch the other girls in his bed -- something she
wasn't going to pull off -- he rolled his eyes. Well, she was causing the
mornings to be a little less fun than they could be, but maybe that was
actually for the best.

"Morning, Imouto," he said, picking up Ryouko with one hand around her
midsection. He was really getting too used to this.... "Don't forget to give
her back before I leave," he warned, handing her over.

"Yay!" Ryouko and his sister cheered in tandem.

"Thank you, nii-san!" the girl echoed, winking as she picked up the small form
and dashed to her room.

At least his mother was busy with something downstairs this time. Sighing, he
shook his head and tried to think of what he still had to do later that day.

* * *

Considering the previous evening, being joined by Kyon and Tsuruya at the
train station was a positive follow-up, in Haruhi's mind. Tsuruya was the one
left out while they were spending time with Sasaki, after all.

"Morning!" she greeted brightly, waving at the engaged couple.

"Good morning, Haruhi, Kanae-chan," Kyon answered, nodding.

Tsuruya echoed him, waving to the slider at Haruhi's side and grinning. "You
decided to walk from the station instead of taking the limo?" Haruhi asked,
once the group of them started the long march up the hill.

"It's fun once in a while, but spending time with friends is better," the
heiress answered, smiling. "Did you want to ride in it?"

Well, Haruhi didn't _mind_, but she'd done it enough with Tsuruya that she
could understand the novelty wearing off.

"Not a big deal," Haruhi shrugged, taking Kanae's hand in her own. "I think
you're right!"

"Hey-- Hey," a voice wheezed quietly, Taniguchi jogging up from behind the
pair and clapping a hand on Kyon's shoulder.

Haruhi glanced at the boy. "Not with Yanagimoto today?" she wondered.

Taniguchi grimaced, falling into step at Kyon's side as he dropped his hand to
his side and shook his head. "Nah," he sighed. "It's kinda complicated,
but.... So, did you know that Sakanaka has a crush on...." He trailed off.
"Actually, I probably shouldn't say. Girls don't like that to be spread
around, do they?"

Scowling, Haruhi nodded. "I know who," she said warning. "I just can't imagine
how someone like _you_ could figure it out!"

"Aw, come on, Suzumiya!" he protested. "I'm already in trouble with
Yanagimoto-hime -- I don't need you giving me a hard time, too!"

"'Hime'? No, never mind that-- Why are you telling me about this?" Kyon
wondered. "I mean, good for Kunikida and all, but what makes you think I can
help?"

"And how'd you piss _Yanagimoto_ off?" Haruhi demanded, irritated. Sakanaka
and the gymnast were her friends, after all!

"_We_ can help, Kyon," Taniguchi corrected, raising his arm and putting it
across Kyon's shoulders, pulling the other boy close.

"Really."

"Absolutely," Taniguchi agreed, nodding vigorously. "Now, the problem is,
Kunikida's fallen for someone else, okay? Now, help me out, but who do you
think it could be? What girls have you seen Kunikida around?"

Haruhi blinked -- Taniguchi had figured that all out? She couldn't see
Yanagimoto telling him, but from _him_, that was _amazing_!

"I don't even know what you're talking about," Kyon said in irritation,
plucking the cloth of Taniguchi's sleeve and pulling the other boy's arm off
him. "Seriously -- this is your area of expertise, not mine. The only girl
I've seen him pay attention to outside of, er, Asahina-san and Tsuruya-hime is
a classmate from middle school."

Taniguchi made a sharp 'tsk' noise, snapping the fingers of the hand Kyon had
just brushed off and scowling. "Any chance he would run into her outside of
school?" he pressed.

Haruhi shook her head, interrupting him before Kyon could answer. "Hey, what
good does knowing this even do?" she pressed.

"Well, then I know how hot this girl is and which attributes to point out to
Kunikida, of course," Taniguchi said, as though it were the most obvious thing
in the world.

Kyon sighed, one hand rising to press into his face over his eyes. "You are
really something else, you know that, Taniguchi?" he groaned.

Puffing with pride, the other boy grinned. "You're right-- You're right! Okay,
then-- I'll handle this, Kyon, you obviously need to focus on other stuff!"

Haruhi shook her head in time with Kyon, the pair of them releasing a
synchronized sigh as the boy with the slicked-back hair charged up the hill
like a man possessed.

"I don't even know where to begin," Kyon grumbled.

"Hehe, you two are so alike," Kanae giggled, squeezing Haruhi's hand.

"Too cute!" Tsuruya agreed, laughing aloud.

"It's probably best not to worry too much about him," Haruhi said doubtfully.
"Don't let it worry you, anyway, Kyon."

"I'll try not to," Kyon agreed. "Though, I guess it's nice to sometimes see
craziness that doesn't have to involve us, you know?"

Haruhi gave Kanae a sidelong glance as she giggled, undoubtedly recalling
Haruhi meeting with Yanagimoto and Sakanaka. "It does make for a change in
perspective," she agreed, nodding reluctantly. "Anyway, we should get to class
sooner than later."

Shrugging, he added, "It's not like any of our problems are going to solve
themselves, after all."

* * *

As steamed as Taniguchi had gotten her by being so insensitive, Yanagimoto had
pointedly not even read his texts. Instead, she'd spent most of the afternoon
on damage control with Sakanaka. She'd thought the singer was _interested_ in
Kunikida, but the entire affair, with Sakanaka barely even touching her
parfait....

She wasn't just a little sad -- she had it _bad_ for Kunikida.

It was starting to get to the point where Yanagimoto wanted to hit the guy!
What was so great about Sasaki anyway? Yanagimoto wasn't certain why, but had
a grim certainty that she was way more trouble than she was worth -- that girl
would cause whatever guy she ended up with _worlds_ of difficulty, she just
_knew_ it!

When she got to class, still ignoring Taniguchi, Sakanaka's desk was still
empty. That was worrisome; was Sakanaka so broken up she was taking a day off
from school? She was almost always one of the first to arrive!

Yanagimoto wasn't sure she could blame her if she was skipping, though. She
_knew_ she could blame Taniguchi.... Well, maybe that wasn't _entirely_ fair.

For his part, her boyfriend sat at his desk, mumbling to himself. What,
practicing an apology?

She wasn't sure how to feel about that yet. Maybe after she heard it....

At least they were early enough that most of the other students hadn't arrived
yet. Sakanaka _could_ just be late.

Kyon and Haruhi were at their desks, chatting quietly about something. While
she was a _little_ curious, Sakanaka (and thus, Taniguchi) were her focus for
the moment.

Kunikida, naturally, was the next student to walk in through the door.
Taniguchi glanced over, then slapped both palms onto the surface of his desk,
springing to his feet. "You!" he called out, pointing at the smaller boy
menacingly.

Yanagimoto nearly fell out of her _own_ seat, so couldn't particularly blame
the shorter boy for flinching in alarm. "W...what?" he returned in confusion.
"Do you need to borrow my assignments that badly?"

"Well," Taniguchi said in a more reasonable tone, "I actually didn't have a
study partner last night-- But _that_ isn't the point!" His voice rose
dramatically, and Yanagimoto found herself grudgingly realizing that he
probably _would_ be good at voice acting. "Kunikida, are you a man, or aren't
you?"

Everyone in the class was staring at the pair by that point. Great voice or
not -- what the hell did Taniguchi think he was _doing_?

"I-- What is this about?" Kunikida asked, mildly indignant. Usually he was the
peacemaker, so Yanagimoto could understand why he wasn't sure how to respond
to ire directed at _him_.

"You know, you're a smart guy," Taniguchi said, heaving an exaggerated sigh
and shaking his head. "I'm glad you let me copy your homework and all, but
you're still a man, and that means it's your responsibility to be a good guy!
If you make a nice girl cry because you're ignoring her and mooning over some
girl you met in middle school -- well, if Kyon's too busy to give you a much-
needed bright slap and wake you up, I'll do it myself!"

Yanagimoto groaned, slapping the heel of one hand to her forehead. Kyon wore
his normal unimpressed look -- though it somehow also managed to say, "leave
me out of this," without him uttering a word.

What the hell! This was grounds for a break-up-- Yanagimoto didn't mind
Taniguchi being dramatic and boisterous, but this was just plain _stupid_!

"I-- What?" Kunikida managed, now completely off balance.

"Recover your pride! Stand up for honor, justice, and making cute girls
smile!" Taniguchi barked. "And since you need a wingman and some practice --
let your aniki Taniguchi help you out! So -- forget about that girl, and if
not for you, then for _her_...." Taniguchi rose to his full height and pointed
a finger directly at Kunikida's face, intoning, "Try and get to know some
other nice girl better! Like, maybe someone who can sing, and went to a party
with you!"

"You-- What, you mean, Sakanaka-san?" the smaller boy blurted out, eyes nearly
crossing as he stared at Taniguchi's fingertip.

"Yes!" the taller boy declared, pulling his hand back and pumping one fist
before moving instantly to the shorter boy's side, leaning close and stage-
whispering, "Also, listen, I'm in trouble with my girlfriend, so help me out,
huh? I hope to get back on her good side with a double-date, alright?"

Kunikida blinked several times.

"Sakanaka-san?" he repeated, seemingly stunned.

Yanagimoto felt her face warm up as nearly everyone else in the class gave
slow nods of understanding. She wasn't sure if she wanted to kill Taniguchi
for the embarrassment, or forgive him on account of covering for Sakanaka--
With _that_ production, he had really made it seem like the entire ploy was to
get back on _her_ good side, not just to get Kunikida to pay attention to
Sakanaka. Hadn't he made displays that were _almost_ as embarrassing
throughout the year already?

"...wish I'd recorded that," Haruhi muttered, shaking her head. "How come you
couldn't act that well when we were filming the movie, anyway?"

"My apologies to the idol star of that film, but she didn't motivate me the
same way," Taniguchi said with a shrug, trying his best smile at Yanagimoto.

_That_ nearly made Yanagimoto roll her eyes -- no way did she compare to
Mikuru! Still....

Flattery _and_ problem solving?

Smirking as though he were some kind of hero, Taniguchi sauntered over to his
desk and dropped into his seat.

Realizing what her own role in the whole mess logically implied, she flatly
said, "In order for me to be seen with you in public, it would take at _least_
two other people, right now!"

Sakanaka stepped into the room just then, still looking downcast. Her mood
must have improved slightly, because she seemed concerned at hearing that,
offering Yanagimoto a sympathetic look, though her attention quickly went to
Kunikida, still standing paralyzed halfway to his desk.

"Uh--" the smaller boy managed, faking a cough and shaking his head. "Um,
Sakanaka-san, i...it seems that our respective friends are having some ...
difficulty."

"Er." Sakanaka's answer was timid, using none of the range of her singer's
voice. "I-- Um, yes," she agreed belatedly, nervously glancing at the rest of
the class. "I...it's unfortunate." She hesitated on the verge of saying more,
but bit her tongue, glancing across the other students again.

Even if it _was_ less than half of the class, it was still a bit of an
audience! Haruhi had even taken Kyon's phone and surreptitiously started to
record!

Almost flooring Yanagimoto, the shorter boy stepped closer to Sakanaka -- he
was only slightly taller than the singer -- and said, somewhat haltingly.
"W...well, maybe we could help them? They ... are our friends, and I have to
look out for, um, poor Taniguchi, after all!"

"Huh?" she responded, bewildered. "Er-- W...we should, I suppose, but, um,
how?"

Yanagimoto was tempted to break in, but Kunikida -- once Taniguchi had prodded
him enough -- managed to maintain some momentum. "T...that is, we could, um,
go out ... with them, so they could make up-- Er, if you'd, uh, go out with
me--"

"Yes!" Sakanaka yelped, standing straight, eyes wide as she stared into
Kunikida's face. "That's-- Naturally! That would be wonderful, wouldn't it?
Er, to help our friends?"

"R...right," Kunikida agreed awkwardly.

Yanagimoto heaved a sigh, glancing over to where Taniguchi appeared to be
winding himself up again-- Okay, enough was _enough_! "Right," she declared
quickly, "well, sorry we're so clumsy at this, and thanks for being our
friends; let's meet up after class and go to the cafe together. Um, if
Taniguchi-baka behaves, maybe we can form a study group!"

"Okay!" Sakanaka agreed unhesitatingly.

"I-- A study group ... could be nice," Kunikida agreed, still slightly off
balance.

Yanagimoto couldn't blame him!

Seemingly satisfied, Taniguchi settled back into his seat, even smirking
despite the 'honorific'.

Kyon shook his head in disbelief before turning his attention to his homework;
Haruhi just grinned, giving Yanagimoto a wink when no one else was looking.

Well ... maybe she'd underestimated Taniguchi, and the fastest way to Kunikida
was just being blunt? She'd have to give him points for that!

* * *