Kyon: Big Damn Hero

Filler Arc III

Chapter Thirteen: Close of Business

Disclaimer: The novel series of Suzumiya Haruhi that began with 'The Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi' is the creation of Nagaru Tanigawa. No disrespect is intended by the posting of this fanfiction, as I do not own the characters or settings involved. I'm merely dabbling with another set of paints. TVtropes(dot)org is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported License, and so is every part of this fic that isn't the property of someone else.

Notes: Count the tropes! Save, collect, trade for swell prizes!


"Title: Admirable"

"He says it is 'like'
"No absolute value, there
"A strange inference

"Understanding is not full
"But to call it 'like' and know

"Incomplete knowledge
"With partial understanding
"Yet still sufficient"

"Snow, Verses: A Compilation" -- Committed to record: 2011.4.23


Wondering how to deal with the punishment he'd been assigned, and how it would impact what he considered to be more important aspects of his club life -- and his association with Tsuruya -- Kyon tossed his schoolbag on his bed and began to rifle through it in earnest. His books were there, Haruhi had left him a stack of study notes, half of them in unfamiliar handwriting, and then he found the 'protection' Mori had left him.

Gods above, she didn't really think that he and Tsuruya.... Or that he and Yuki.... Or that....

Color draining from his face, he desperately searched his room for some sort of safe spot to stash the unexpected box of individually packaged foil-wrapped 'protection'; this was not something he wanted his mother or sister to find! He finally settled for the ultimate hiding place, pulling out the bottom-most drawer on his dresser and hiding the small box beneath.

That done, he checked the notes for the assignment, spread his schoolbooks and papers across his desk, and promptly hunched over his cell phone, checking the messages he had missed while fighting the Sumiyoshi-rengo. A text from Haruhi, reminding him that he owed her. Two from Koizumi, outlining the details that he and Mori had already given him in person. One from Taniguchi, of all people, telling him that he had achieved the notoriety of being 'Kitago's greatest delinquent'. And one from Kanae, telling him she believed in him, whatever she meant by that.

A deluge of angry remarks and threats from his mother concerning his whereabouts followed. After clearing out the other texts, he messaged Haruhi back a 'thanks', followed by an apology for being grounded. That done, he proceeded to voice mail. One from his mother, demanding to know where he was, which he deleted. The next came from a detective he hadn't heard of, commenting that he would be by to take a statement from Kyon at some point.

Kyon pulled the card Tsuruya had given him with the Tsuruya family lawyer's contact information from his pocket, and decided to text her for her opinion on dealing with that one. The next voice mail was from his mother, which he deleted. A voice mail from Haruhi, cheerfully telling him she'd beaten the student council. One from Mikuru, saying she wasn't certain what was going on, but she hoped he would be okay, and she wished him luck. Another message from his mother, which he deleted.

And the final voice mail, unexpectedly, from someone he hadn't thought had his cell phone number. He knew she had his home number, but his cell....

"Hello," Sasaki's voice came from the recording, sounding the slightest, faintest bit nervous, "you should remember me, Kyon; it's Sasaki! Well, I'm certain you remember me, you aren't the sort to forget. Ah, this is a bit short notice, and I'm sorry for that, but...." She trailed off. He heard a car speed past on the message, followed by the dopplered effect of a horn vanishing away. "A...anyway! We really should meet at some point, and discuss things! I hope that you're well when you receive this message, so, take care, and please call me back, okay? I have some, um, friends who would really ... like to meet you." She sounded strangely stressed by that last remark. "Well, anyway, I hope to hear from you soon, so ... bye!"

He contemplated possible responses before remembering that he had resolved to ask Yuki about Sasaki. Yuki would probably be home by now, he thought. He dialed her home number from memory, some of his worry fading when the receiver picked up, and he heard the soft sound of her breath.

"Nagato," he said, glancing at the doorway, where his sister was peeking at him around the corner, "ah, if it's not too much trouble, there's something I would like to talk to you about tonight. Um, could you pick me up a bit before the ... session, so we could chat?"

"When?" she asked.

"Um ... thirty or forty minutes before you pick up the others?" he suggested.

"Understood."

He didn't want to hang up on the girl, but he doubted she would make the first move in that direction, and somehow, it felt like something important had gone unsaid. "So, I should say this, Nagato.... Thank you for today. Thank you for everything."

"You," Yuki said slowly, as though carefully testing the words out, "are ... welcome."

For a moment, he could only stare incredulously at the phone. Not 'it is no problem'? Not 'it is fine'?

But the humanoid interface wasn't done, either. "Also ... thank you."

For what? He couldn't think of anything he had done that was particularly noteworthy compared to everything she had done. "Anything I can do for you," he told her, instead of asking something that would shatter the moment. "You only have to ask."

Her voice softened, and he once again knew it meant much more than it sounded when she whispered, "Understood," and disconnected the phone. He stared a minute longer, imagining her in her apartment, kneeling by the phone, her cheeks pink-tinged as she daydreamed about him.... But he dismissed that thought. This was Yuki, after all. As much as he might wish that....

"What's up, Imouto?" he asked his sister, spinning his chair to face the door.

She charged into the room and glomped onto his side. "Tell me about saving the world!" she demanded, staring up at him with insistent eyes. "You wake up early, and you haven't played with me all week! I want to hear something good!"


Haruhi stared at her cell phone in disbelief. Okay, Kyon thanking her? Somewhat unusual, but in this instance, well deserved.

Still, the boy was seventeen years old. And he'd gotten grounded? That was beyond reasonable, in her mind. What next, Kyon's mother deciding -- again! -- to starve him, making those crappy bentos Kyon always got stuck with? Depriving him of dinner, as though that would accomplish anything?

More importantly, grounded from club meetings!? Haruhi was strongly tempted to call Yuki and demand the smaller girl allow a modification to Kyon's mother to make her more reasonable.

Grumbling as she paced back and forth in the clubroom, she belatedly realized that none of this was Kyon's fault, anyway. It was Tsuruya's. And as an honorary member of the brigade, Tsuruya had a duty to the full time members -- aside from which, Haruhi had warned the older girl that if Kyon got in trouble....

The only other person still there, Mikuru, was absorbed in her project, fixedly concentrating on finishing the greatcoat for Kyon. Kanae had left after Haruhi helped the girl with her homework, and Koizumi had left before the club meeting, citing a need to bring Kyon's schoolbag to him.

Well, she decided, punching up a quick text message outlining the situation, Tsuruya got Kyon into the mess he was in, so the green-haired girl could take care of it, too.

Or else she would.


She had always known her brother wasn't the most popular or amazing person in the world -- in other people's eyes. And that suited her fine, for the most part. She also knew that it was only a matter of time before everyone else in the world realized that her brother was a really cool guy, and then.... Well, she was afraid of losing her brother.

Maybe it was silly and irrational, but she knew it was something much bigger than the adventures she watched on television. More real than whatever Trope-tan was up to, at any rate. Kyon was destined for a life of adventure, she could feel it. Just like she knew when he said he was saving the world, he was being honest.

Well, not one hundred percent honest; he was exaggerating a tiny bit. But heroic adventures were absolutely happening, she was positive of that! She was a big girl, so she wasn't scared of the dark (as much) anymore. It had been a whole four months since the last time their parents were gone and the power was out, and she crawled into his bed to hide from anything scary!

Of course, that was before he had gone into 'adventure' mode, with his new light sleeping, so she had sneaked out when the sun rose, leaving him none-the-wiser. That was as good as making it not count, though!

So, she knew he wasn't telling the complete truth, but he was being relatively honest anyway, when he told her what he'd been busy with that day. She wasn't sure why someone would take pictures of girls in underwear, but Kyon had found and stopped the master pervert and his perverted underlings, then went across the city to beat up the Dark General and his footmen who were behind the scheme. He said Tsuruya and Yuki were with him, and she absolutely believed that! Kyon might not have known, but she was starting to believe that the abnormally quiet Yuki was actually a magical girl!

Especially when he told her how Yuki had subdued the most of the Dark General's footmen! She was especially proud of the way her brother explained that the Dark General wasn't killed or sealed away; he was ordered to redeem himself, and given a chance to do just that!

So, when he finished telling the story, she gave him a powerful hug, told him he was a good hero, and then their father came home.

Their mother had a bit of a temper, so she waved when her brother wearily went outside to speak with their father. Their mother stood in the doorway, observing the conversation, so she embarked on her very own brand of little-sister-espionage. The house had only the tiniest, most rudimentary of backyards, but it did have a backyard of a sort, so she sneaked out the back door and made her way to the side of the house, crouched near the surrounding wall. The tiny space between the house and the wall was just big enough to squeeze through, and was where Kyon traditionally left his bike.

Creeping all the way to where he had left the bicycle, she hid in its shadow, catching part of the conversation.

"...real need to follow the rules of the school, you know," her father was saying, somewhat crossly. He must have been in a bad mood; he almost never smoked at home, but he had a lit cigarette in one hand as he went on.

Kyon had a demeanor she recognized. Adults would never understand it, or had forgotten what it meant a very long time ago. Not quite defiance, just resignation; an admission that the adults wouldn't get it. He looked like he was just waiting for the talking to stop so he could move on to the next stage; waiting to stop being grounded. Her cheer was dashed instantly.

Why were her parents being so stupid about this? Kyon was a hero, wasn't he?

"Say something to your father," their mother barked.

"Right," Kyon said, straightening slightly. "Sorry. My bad."

"Are you even paying attention?" their father asked, running one hand through his hair. "This is pretty important stuff, you know!"

"Yeah, of course. Won't happen again," Kyon added.

"Hey," their father's voice became protesting. "Don't just pass this off with lip-service, Kyon! Listen, it's one thing to get into a fight. But this.... You've gone too far, and while I don't understand how the school administration thinks it's okay to let you get away with it, you got lucky!"

"Oh, lucky, that's me alright," her brother said dryly.

"Be serious for a minute! You got lucky! So, if they don't punish you at all, we're going to make sure you understand this is the sort of thing that can't be allowed to happen again!"

"Right," he agreed. "Ignore criminal actions, don't help fellow students in distress, and above all, never be there for your friends, is that it?"

"You should be there for your friends," their father disagreed.

"Your taste in friends is another question entirely!" their mother added. "If your friends are getting you into this kind of trouble, you obviously need new ones! Now, what about Sasaki-chan? She was a good friend, and a positive influence on you!"

She was taken aback at the way Kyon's eyes hardened at that. She'd never seen her brother angry, really angry. She'd accidentally ruined pieces of his clothing, once spilled glue all over his bed borrowing it without asking, dropped things on his feet being careless, and generally had no real respect for his boundaries. Despite all that, the worst he'd ever seemed was annoyed, giving her a gentle admonishment, a few times tapping her on the forehead with a single fingertip, like a much smaller child.

Now, she saw something much stronger in his eyes. Still not anger, but more than the annoyance he'd ever shown her. Their mother seemed oblivious to this fact, somehow.

That was adults for you, she supposed; they never did understand.

"Look," his father said plaintively, "this is all for your future, Kyon. We just want to make sure you don't destroy your chances!"

"Is this speech going to come up every time I do anything?" he asked. "No offense, but I got it last time, and you're just repeating the same points."

"I feel we must," their father growled, dropping his cigarette and stamping it out. "Because even though we did have this discussion, it doesn't seem to have sunk in."

"It did!" he retorted. "I was told, whatever else I did, get a ninety or better on assignments from this point on! Which I did. Granted, I also destroyed a crime-ring with Tsuruya-kun's help, but seriously, are you both unable to realize that? My grade went up from a seventy four to a ninety two between two tests! What do I get for my trouble? Yelled at. By both of you. What kind of message are you trying to send?"

"First of all," their father said, "you need to listen, and not talk back so much." He sounded angry now, too, she realized with dismay. Kyon was in a lot of trouble, and she didn't like that at all! Where was a hero who could rescue Kyon when they were needed?

"Secondly," their mother began, falling short suddenly as a sleek black limousine drew to a halt just before their house. Everyone turned to stare in surprise, except for Kyon, who merely arched one eyebrow higher.

A driver got out and rushed to the side door to open it, allowing the tallest, largest man that Kyon's sister had ever seen in real life to emerge. His hair was green, not quite unruly, but tousled. He wore an immaculate dark blue suit, with a shiny pin on one lapel. She couldn't make out the detail, but she was willing to bet it was identical to the pin on Kyon's collar.

The tall man studied the scene with a broad grin, showing off one pronounced, extended fang. He then reached into the car, helping the familiar figure of Tsuruya out. Tsuruya was dressed in the prettiest kimono she thought she had seen, pink and green, her hair up in an elaborate bun, her face carefully made up. Behind her, a man almost as large as the fellow she guessed was Tsuruya's father painfully got out. He had a pin, too; in fact, everyone from the car had one, even Tsuruya, on the collar of her kimono.

He moved stiffly, his suit almost, but not quite as fine as Tsuruya's father's. One arm was in a cast, and he had a crutch beneath the other. Three men in similarly less fine suits followed, and the driver closed the door, retreating to wait near the front of the car.

"C...can we help you?" Kyon's mother asked, studying the group in confusion.

"Tsu...Tsuruya-san!?" their father managed, staring at the green-haired man in shock.

"We've met?" the man asked, looking at her father thoughtfully, then nodding. "Ah, yes, you're one of Yoshida's aides, right? You works for the firm that competes with us, what is it ... Nishinomiya Heavy Industries?"

"That's right! Um, I'm rather amazed you remember me! W...what brings you here?"

The green-haired man waved a hand dismissively, reaching into his coat and pulling out a cigar. "Please," he said, leaning slightly toward one of his aides, who whispered something in his ear, "Yuuto-kun, call me Kenshiro." Nodding at her mother, he introduced himself, "I am Tsuruya Kenshiro. You must be the lovely mother of my daughter's friends."

With tiny, mincing, demure steps, Tsuruya moved to Kyon's side and took one of his arms in her own, bowing her head slightly, her cheeks coloring with a blush.

"Is this about something Kyon has done?" The woman's voice was strained, on the edge of another explosion of fury.

Kyon's little sister clenched one fist expectantly. Tsuruya had arrived! She would find a way to fix things!

"Curious," the man remarked, running his lighter beneath his cigar as he turned it over, then snipping off the end before lighting it. After a few thoughtful puffs, he remarked, "You calls your son 'Kyon'?"

"That's right. What has he done?"

"He has saved my family face," the man said, tapping his cigar, ashes falling to the walkway. "And so, I have come to thanks the boy who saved my daughter's reputation. Indeed, I wouldn't be surprised to finds more grateful parents, considering his great service to the girls at his school!"

Kyon abruptly bowed very low, a full ninety degree bow, and said, "I merely did what I felt I must in service to your family, Tsuruya-sama."

"Oh, stop that bowings immediately," Kenshiro grumbled. Kyon straightened nervously. "Kids these days ... put a man and his family in their debts, and then apologize for it? Really." The tall man shook his head. "It is we who should bow to you, Kyou-- That is, Kyon-kun. You are the caliber of man I look forward to seeing in my organization! Every time a new hires is made, I can only pray that they approach your loyalty and competence!"

"...um," Kyon's mother managed.

"...what?" his father echoed.

"But, I digress," the man continued, puffing his cigar again. "This is Kasai," he added, indicating the injured man. "My daughter's bodyguards. Without any obligation to do so, while Kasai was injured, Kyon bravely volunteered to take his place, ensuring my daughter's safety!"

With obvious pain, Kasai limped forward on his crutch a half-step, then raised his injured arm to remove his dark glasses. "I am greatly in your debt, Kyon-dono," he said, attempting to bow.

"Cut that out!" Kyon insisted, stepping forward and seizing the man's shoulders before he could injure himself worse in the attempt. "Um, I appreciate that, Kasai-san, I do. But as much as I respect that, I won't have Tsuruya's bodyguard hurt himself on my account! My parents were just punishing me for helping out, so you'll need to be in good condition soon."

"...ah," Kasai allowed, grimacing.

"Punished?" Kenshiro asked, shooting Kyon's parents an incredulous look. "Why on earths for?!"

"T...there was violence at school," Kyon's mother hesitantly tried.

"W...well, we are worried for the boy's future," his father added.

Kenshiro looked significantly unimpressed. "Right," he said, shaking his head. "Yuuto-kun, I don't mean to tells you how to raise your son. That's not my place, and I understand that. All the same, his future is secure with the Tsuruya corporation. Bodyguard, advisor, whatever it is, I assures you that college or otherwise, a job awaits Kyon with my company whenever it's required. You work in finance, yes?"

"T...that's correct," Kyon's father said, nodding quickly.

"I could use a man like you in the Tsuruya Corporation," he said, nodding. "Yoshida's getting on in years, and you're not doing your own career any favors by staying with him. The old man's tenacious though. Even if he's slipping, he'll never retires. That's quite a shadow to choose to live under."

"Even so," the man replied stubbornly, "what is loyalty if I sell it out? I work for Nishinomiya Heavy, and I take pride in my work! Even if ... it may be something of a dead-end job...."

"Loyalty, eh? I like that," Kenshiro approved. He turned to one of the men at his side, in a brown suit. "Aida-chan, buy Nishinomiya Heavy Industries. Transfer Yuuto-kun and Yoshida appropriately."

Kyon's little sister grinned as her father's eyes bugged out, and his jaw dropped open. Well, of course she knew Tsuruya's family was rich.... Really, if they just paid attention to her when she tried to tell them things like that, or that Kyon was a hero, things would have gone so much more smoothly!

"That will be a conflict of interests," Aida said apologetically.

"Eh, then liquidate all Nishinomiya Heavy assets we can't legally retain; sell the structure back to the original shareholders, but use a tertiary holding to retain ownership until reorganization is complete. No sense making anyone lose a jobs over it."

"Understood, Tsuruya-sama," Aida said, bowing. "Paperwork should be complete by Tuesday."

Clenching his cigar in his teeth, Kenshiro gave the man an absent nod. "Now," he said abruptly, "I hope whatever 'punishment' Kyon-kun must endure, he's still given the chance to meet with my daughter! After his service to our family, well, she's quite taken with him, and I can't blames her!" He abruptly roared in laughter, barely catching the cigar before it tumbled to the ground. "At any rate! We wanted to gives our regards, not interfere with a family moment. So, now that our gratitude has been given, let us withdraw!"

Kyon's father sputtered helplessly for a long minute, able to manage a jerky, shocked nod. Leaning heavily on his crutch, Kasai solemnly bowed his head to Kyon. "We are all very grateful, Kyon-dono."

While his parents were watching, Tsuruya added, "I am especially grateful! So, thank you very much, Kyon-kun. I only hopes that I haven't caused you any troubles." Before he could move away, she released his arm and planted a chaste kiss on his cheek, her blush intensifying as she followed her father into the car, shooting one last smile over her shoulder before she stepped in.

As suddenly as they had arrived, the well-dressed group drove away.

"Anyway," Kyon said, fingertips tracing the spot on his cheek where Tsuruya had kissed him. "You were reminding me that I don't have a future?"

"Go to your room!" his mother abruptly snapped, shooting him a death-glare. "You're still grounded from attending your club!"

"Of course," he drawled, sticking his hands in his pocket and strolling casually into the house.

Torn between running into the house to ask Kyon the million questions bouncing through her head and watching further, his little sister finally decided to spy on the parents instead. When her father finally recovered himself, he managed, "D...do you think maybe Kyon has a better idea of what he's doing with his life than we gave him credit for?"

"Maybe," her mother grumbled. "But I don't like it! That's not the kind of life I wanted Kyon to have!"

"He's not exactly a child anymore," her father countered. "And as polite as Tsuruya-san was about the entire thing, he is pretty much the wealthiest man in the city. Starting next week, he's going to be my boss, too!"

"Fine," her mother allowed reluctantly, as though it were being pulled from her. "That Tsuruya girl ... I don't know her, but she has to be a better influence on him than that Suzumiya troublemaker! Even so, she obviously comes from a cultured, refined family. If anything, we need to strive even harder to make sure that Kyon's not a delinquent; if his future is with her, he'd better be well behaved enough to not shame her family, right?!"

"Dear," her father said, his voice a bit pained, "I don't think you quite grasp the concept of letting Kyon make his own decisions."

Deciding she had heard enough, she crept back through the narrow passage to the back of the house, stepping into the kitchen. Kyon was there, glancing to one side when he saw her, and raising an eyebrow. He had just finished pouring himself a tall glass of milk, and pointed to it. "Want one?"

She nodded, and he poured her a glass as well. Once he had finished gulping his down, she asked, "Kyon-kun, are you going to date Tsuru-nee-san?"

He rubbed his cheek, frowning. "I'd rather not be killed by a furious Haruhi, so probably not," he said, shaking his head quickly. "She's just a really good friend."

"Hmm, so friends kiss like that?"

He winced, looking away. "Not usually," he admitted. "Look, if Haruhi finds out about that, she's going to get really jealous, and might blow up the world."

No trace of embellishment that she could sense, surprisingly. "Then I won't tell her," she assured him, holding up a hand with one pinky extended. "Promise!"

He grinned and ruffled her hair before linking his own pinky with hers. "Thanks, Imouto," he said. "I'll owe you one for that."


As per his request, Yuki summoned her primary protection target forty minutes before she planned to summon the others for the nightly error-correction session. She noted that his ability to withstand the transitions of teleportation had improved, because he very quickly recovered from disorientation.

She assumed the neutral state of kneeling at his side expectantly. He frowned and ran a hand through his hair.

"Nagato," he said, turning to look at her, "you'll tell me if I rely on you too much, won't you?"

She considered the words, but did not understand how interaction with him could reach a level she would term 'too much'. It was meaningless; a situation that was unlikely to occur, barring the Integrated Data Sentience Entity or Haruhi changing her on a fundamental level. "Yes," she said.

He looked uncomfortable, and she rose, moving to the table. In expectation of his arrival, she had already prepared tea.

In the silence, he joined her at the table. She wondered if he was going to say anything, but didn't particularly mind in any case. It was time spent in his presence, if he spoke or not.

"Is everything okay?" he asked, once she had poured him a cup of tea.

The subset of data contained within 'everything' was too vast for her to consider, and with no link to the IDSE, it would take longer than the remaining time before summoning the others to determine. Narrowing the scope of 'everything' further to only include events he would understand still included too many variables to consider easily. However, only one non 'okay' event was required to return an answer:

"I am fine," she said.

He sipped at his tea and set it down, leaning forward to stare at her eyes. She was confident that she had betrayed no physical cues that would suggest anything other than what she had said. One of his hands rose, and he pointed a single finger at her, pressing it against her forehead gently. She blinked, checking her local libraries to understand the meaning of the gesture: an adult's admonishment of a child.

"I may not understand a lot, Nagato," he said softly, "but I can tell when you're not being honest. After all, I said if I could help you, ask! But you never do." He sighed, letting his hand fall to the table. "So, let me know when I can do something to make it up to you. You really saved our hides today against the Sumiyoshi-rengo, you know. I can't help but feel the need to repay that."

She contemplated, running simulations and checking local references. However, despite her consideration, she kept returning to the conclusion that all else aside, she could not accurately predict his behavior. But in any case, Tsuruya had confirmed what she could not simulate.

So: "Do you like me?"

His eyes widened in surprise for a moment before he chuckled, scratching the back of his head nervously. "Y...you know, the first time I ever spoke with you here, I actually had the idea that you wanted to ask me to your apartment to talk about things like this? I guess ... I hoped that, yeah, a beautiful, intelligent girl like you wanted to confess to me...." He swallowed, another sign of nervousness, and shook his head, dropping his hand to the table.

"I'm sorry, this isn't answering your question. Yeah, Nagato ... I'm no good about talking about this. I do like you. I like you a lot, but you've known that for a long while, haven't you? Isn't that why you made that other world, where you and I could be together?"

"I did not know," she answered. Her facial reaction parameters triggered unexpectedly as the capillary loops there were active beyond the norm. Temperature correspondingly also increased. Her local index suggested that the physical reaction was consistent with embarrassment, shame, or being in love. "That world was rejected."

"That world, maybe," he said in a soft tone, reaching one hand across the table and grasping the hand she had left on the teapot. She had the strength to easily resist, but did not. He plucked her hand free and clasped it gently between the two of them. A great deal of focus and attention went to the amount of heat, the sensation of physical contact, the minute, practically unobservable transfer of static electricity conducted between the two of them, and every other aspect of the connection. "But never you."

"At this juncture," she said, "I will attempt to communicate something to you, though I am uncertain as to the accuracy of the transmission. Words remain a weak vector for communicating vital information. Despite the lack of adherence to social norms and the correct protocols for this procedure, I am attempting to convey to you the positive emotive content of my current condition and regards for you." Her local library didn't contain more helpful contextual notes, and her social monitor was largely dependent on the IDSE, which she was no longer connected to. She briefly contemplated attempting to access Haruhi's memetic library for comparison, but decided against it; this was something she was going to attempt on her own.

"The outcome is uncertain; no accurate prediction can be made," she continued, raising her eyes from their clasped hands to meet his. "Regardless of the fact that determination is unclear, I have resolved to continue due to the content of the emotive concept I wish to relay. Despite the fact that I have no comparable metric, I am currently unable to conceive a greater intensity than the one I experience at this moment in relation to you."

He stared at her, and she realized almost immediately that the transmission had failed; he didn't understand.

"I attempted to use more words," she added, when he didn't speak. "It appears that the data was not conveyed accurately."

"C...can you try it again with less, maybe?" he asked, giving her a hopeful, somewhat forced smile.

"Yes," she agreed. "I like you. A lot."

"Oh," he said, his smile relaxing as he bowed his head slightly. Visible physical cues for tension faded from him. "I'm glad," he told her. "You have to believe that I like you too, though. Because ... I do. Even if it puts us at odds with your former bosses."

"I ... have a request," she said, struggling for words she had no protocols to relay.

"Yeah?" he asked, looking up. He appeared happy to be able to do something for her. "What can I do for you?"

Her lips moved silently until she found sounds close enough to what she wanted to communicate: "Kiss."

"U...uh, w...well," he started, stuttering nervously, his eyes darting away even as his grasp on her hand tightened. "W...we really.... I mean, if this gets back to Haruhi, she'd get really mad, but...." He sighed, slumping slightly and shaking his head. "Who am I kidding? I'm going to burn in a very special hell for this -- but it's worth it. Just to warn you, though ... I don't know if I'm any good at this."

He shifted his seat, moving to her side after releasing her hands. She watched him expectantly, her body remaining still as she had no practical experience with initiating the process. Hopefully he had a better understanding than she did. He took a quick breath, then turned her face toward his, tilting it upward with a fingertip beneath her chin. A wealth of focus was invested in every point of contact as he brushed some hair from her face, and whispered, "Close your eyes."

She did as he instructed, even though that would hinder her ability to observe the act, then his lips pressed against hers.


He wasn't certain what to expect from the matter; while he didn't think Yuki had any experience with kissing, either, he had no idea what kind of things she could just choose to learn, seemingly instantly. Their lips touched.

Hers were amazingly soft, but transmitted a strange shock to him. He could feel the hair on his scalp try to stand up straight in response to the surge, but before he could really think about it further, Yuki shifted about. Her hands rose, one going about his back, the other curling around the back of his head and pulling him more deeply into the kiss.

Those amazingly soft, gentle lips opened, and another jolting charge of something ran through him as her tongue parted his lips. After that, things got very hazy for Kyon.

Some minutes later, he wasn't sure, as he didn't have the energy to check his watch, she finally released him. She had wormed her way into his lap, one arm still about his back, her other hand sliding down to rest on his shoulder as she stared at him with her usual expression.

Almost, anyway. Her amazing abilities aside, her cheeks were pink with a blush, and her breath was coming quickly, if not quite in hurried gasps. Her eyes had thawed, and instead of studying him with the intensity of frozen helium, he felt inexplicable warmth from her gaze. Her head tilted to one side, until she was resting it on his shoulder as a pillow.

He felt he had to say something about the experience, but it took him a long moment to find the words. "That was amazing," he managed, giving her a nervous smile.

"Enjoyable," she agreed. She stirred slightly, as though to move away from him, and he realized his arms had gone about her while she was in his lap. Were they making out? He reluctantly let her go, as she smoothly slid free from his lap and retook her place at the table, refreshing his tea.

He checked his watch, realizing they had only a few minutes before she was supposed to be summoning Kanae and Mikuru. Probably best not for that to happen while they were.... He shook his head. What was he doing, anyway? He drank the tea she had poured him, worried about what the future would bring. This wasn't the kind of person he was, to play around so callously behind someone else's back. This was something that he couldn't let Haruhi find out about, so it would be for the best if it was simply something he didn't let happen again.

He nodded to himself, resolved to apologize to Yuki for it, but knowing he needed to be firm.

"I would like to kiss again in the future," she announced, her eyes scanning something outside the windows of her apartment.

"Absolutely," his mouth betrayed him. "I would, too."

She gave that not-quite-a-smile look that she had, when he knew she was happy, and his resolve was crushed instantly.

"I am glad," she said, before she reached out with one hand, fingertips resting against his wristwatch. "I ... want ... permission to modify this device."

"Er ... okay?" he allowed cautiously, uncertain what she had in mind.

Nothing much of anything appeared to happen, but she drew her fingertips back, evidently satisfied. "I will include teaching this new functionality in your chosen training tonight."

He studied the watch, but it didn't feel or act differently. "Okay," he agreed. "Is it about time?"

She gave her tiny nod, reached out with the same hand, grabbed space itself, and twisted. Kanae appeared abruptly on the floor to his left, wearing her pajamas and snoring softly. Mikuru appeared sitting at the table to his right, looking up and shooting Yuki a wary glance as she set a pad of sketching paper down.

The underclassman's bare feet were near Kyon, so he tickled her cautiously, prompting her to giggle before groggily waking up. "Is it that time again?" she asked, yawning as she sat up. "And is it safe to practice sliding again, yet?"

"Yes," Yuki agreed. "You may return to your initially selected training material."

The girl threw her arms in the air. "Yay!" she cheered.

"I'm happy with cooking right now," Mikuru demurred.

"Tsuruya-kun says I get even better at martial arts," Kyon said, shifting his shoulders in a helpless shrug.

"Understood," Yuki said, beginning to raise one hand again.

"Wait," he protested. "I have one quick question, Nagato."

Her eyes fixed on him and shimmered, but did not blink.

"Um ... what ... do you get out of this, exactly? I know to us, we each go ... somewhere else to practice. What about you?"

She said nothing, just looking at him as her rarely seen blush returned.

He felt his own face color, and realized that he might already know. Even if he didn't remember it.... Yuki had certainly known how to return a kiss, despite the fact that she didn't seem to know how to initiate one. "A...actually, forget about that that for now," he said quickly, when Kanae and Mikuru both turned questioning stares at the pair of them.

Was that relief he saw in Yuki's eyes?! "Initializing," she announced, sending reality away.


With nothing else to do all day, Kyon quickly became bored. Admittedly, left to his own devices he probably wouldn't have chosen to leave the house, but with his mother's angry decree, he wasn't even allowed to leave his room, except at mealtimes and to use the washroom. The high point of the day was that Miyokichi had come to visit his younger sister, and the two weren't forbidden to visit him.

Having a spare deck of cards and long experience with children, he expertly lost nearly every hand to the pair. His little sister fell for it completely, but he was starting to think that Miyokichi was realizing that he was throwing the games in their favor. In his mind, it was just practice, since he was going to be surrounded by an endless sea of younger cousins once he reached Hinamizawa.

"I win!" his little sister exclaimed, as Kyon once again managed a losing hand. "I'm going to get us some snacks!"

She bounced up off his bed, rousing Shamisen, and dashed out the door, humming happily. Miyokichi turned to look at him thoughtfully, and tossed her cards onto the discard pile. He gathered them and began shuffling, glancing up at her as he asked, "Something on your mind, Miyokichi-chan?"

"I have a problem," she confessed, giving a small smile.

He shuffled as he nodded, studying the girl. She looked as physically mature as Kanae or Yuki, and most of the time she acted as mature as well, despite the fact that she and his sister were the same age. Dressed in the knee-length skirt, smart blouse, and with her dark hair styled more carefully than his sister usually bothered to, he could easily imagine she had a lot of problems with boys who thought she was older than she was asking her out. Or worse, boys who did know, and didn't care.

"What's that?" he asked.

"I...it's something you might understand very well," she said shyly. "It's actually one of the reasons I, um, rely on you, you know?"

He didn't ... and he wasn't sure he liked where this was going, either. But he nodded anyway. "Sure," he said.

"S...so," she said, starting to stutter as her face colored with a blush, and her index fingers began to poke at one another before her. "Um, um, that is...."

He braced himself. What would it be this time? Was she going to be a vampire? Magical girl? Maybe a member of another group like the Organization? Anything but a confession, he was sure he could handle. Please, he asked any god listening to his prayers, don't let it be a confession!

"Um, Kyon," she blurted out, looking up and locking eyes with him, her gaze watery and shimmering, her cheeks glowing with a blush, "when you have a nickname, are you stuck with it forever!?"

He raised one hand to his face and massaged his forehead. Okay, that went better than he had hoped. "Ah, well ... I am, but you don't have to be," he said, dropping his hand to his side. "Would you be happier if I called you Miyoko-chan?"

Instantly her expression brightened, and her blush faded. "That would be nice!" she said cheerfully.

"Snacks!" Kyon's sister announced, bearing a small tray of crackers into the room. "Kyon-kun, Miyokichi! Help yourselves!"

"Hey," Kyon warned his sister. "You should be a bit more respectful of your friends, Imouto! Has Miyoko-chan asked you to stop using that nickname, recently?"

"Yes," his sister allowed with a pout. "But, I still call you Kyon-kun, even though you don't like it -- I think everyone should have a nickname!"

He turned to the taller girl and asked, "What kind of nickname should we give Imouto? I like 'Okkuu', since she's annoying ... maybe 'Imoukuu'?"

Miyoko giggled, narrowing her eyes and giving Kyon's sister a thoughtfully considering stare.

"I'll be good," his sister grumbled. "I forgot to get water!" She ran off.

"Thank you!" Miyoko cheered. "Um, um, can I ask you another favor, maybe?"

"I guess," he said, shrugging as he dealt out the next hand of cards. "I can't guarantee that I'll be able to help you, but it wouldn't hurt to try, right?"

"W...would you go to see a movie with me?" she asked shyly.

"I won't be free until after Golden Week," he said, frowning. What was this?! A date? "So, it would have to be an evening showing ... will it still be playing, then?"

"Yeah! It's a foreign film I've really been dying to see!" she said brightly. "But, I couldn't think of anyone else to ask!"

He crushed the thought that it was a date: "What's the title?"

Her cheeks took on a decidedly pink tinge again, and she demurely looked away. "Um, it's called 'Saw'."

Right, he remembered. Miyoko liked gory horror movies. She didn't need to be supernatural; she was strange enough as it was. "Yeeeaah," he drawled, considering, while she tried to give him her best puppy-dog look.

"Please?" she begged. She was going to be very dangerous once she learned to use her looks more effectively ... or if she just developed a bit more. Mikuru might have real competition, then.

"I'll think about it," he told her, shaking his head as his sister came back into the room. Maybe he could convince Haruhi to come along ... she'd probably like weird things like that, too, and that would make sure that she didn't get the wrong idea about the younger girl and Kyon.


He woke early on Monday morning, his cell chirping a text message notice as he sat up and looked around. A request from Tsuruya to meet him before school? That sounded fine, he thought, finishing his morning routine in time to see his sister poke her head out of her room with a pout. "I'm heading to class early," he told her, tousling her hair in passing. "Tell Miyoko-chan I said hello when you see her!"

"Okay," his sister reluctantly agreed.

There was a bento waiting in the kitchen, but only one, and his mother was nowhere in sight.

"Figures," he sighed, leaving it for his sister and leaving the house. Before he could grab his bicycle, a familiar limousine pulled to a halt before the family home, and he shrugged, approaching it when Tsuruya popped the door open and excitedly gestured him in.

"Good morning," she chirped, handing him a bento. "How are you today, Kyon-kun?"

"My day's been getting better since I woke up," he assured her, rubbing at one eye. He had missed breakfast in his rush, but at least he had lunch. "Thanks for looking out for me, Tsuruya-kun."

"Glad to hear it!" Tsuruya cheered. "But looking out for you is parts of my job, you know? The boss has to look out for her henchmen!"

He snorted, nodding. At least whatever else happened, he would have a place with the Tsuruya family, as her father had told his family. "Well, I appreciate that," he allowed. Though, thinking about it, he wasn't really certain he wanted to spend the rest of his life as a major member of an organized crime syndicate.

"So," she said, reaching into the blouse of her school uniform and pulling out an envelope, "here's your pay for this week's work!"

Surprised, he accepted the envelope, resolving to open it later, when she wasn't watching him. He was relatively certain that was the polite way to handle things, anyway. Wasn't there some ritual dialog to go along with the payment? He really didn't want to mess this up.... "Um, I am grateful to receive this," he said, bowing his head and hoping that was close enough.

"It's something you earned," she assured him. "Anyways! I want to talk to you about Haru-nyan, okies?"

"Sure," he agreed, pocketing the envelope. "What's up, then?"

Tsuruya looked thoughtful, gazing up at the roof of the car for a minute. "So ... I should tell Haru-nyan about my family, shouldn't I?"

"Well, she's going to want to know everything," he agreed. "She knows about the part at school, but the rest, with the Sumiyoshi-rengo...." He sighed. "Yeah, she'll want to know that, too."

The tall girl nodded, turning to look out the window as the scenery streamed by. "Do you think Haru-nyan will be mad at me?" she asked in a quiet voice. "That I made Kyon-kun my subordinate?"

"I don't think she'll mind that much," he said slowly. "I mean ... to her, the brigade comes first. So as long as she can say that the brigade ranking is more important than the ninkyo dantai ranking, she'll only be upset that she didn't get to be involved."

"You know," she said, giving him a weak grin, "becoming part of the family is supposed to means cutting ties with your old family. But, my father is a good man, maybe sometimes a bit soft. He says that in the Tsuruya branch, it's okay to have two families, even though his is supposed to come first. So ... it might make me look a little bad if it got out, but I don't minds." Her grin blossomed into a real smile. "I get to claim a little bit of Kyon-kun for myself, right?"

"Y...yeah," he agreed uncertainly, wondering why he had let himself become so entangled with so many girls. Haruhi was going to murder him into oblivion, once she found out. Might as well enjoy it while it lasted. "Really," he said, "if you ask Haruhi to join the brigade full time instead of just as an honorary member, I know she'd be happy to let you in. She'll think that means you're her subordinate, which means she won't mind you outranking me so much."

Tsuruya burst into laughter at that, nodding vigorously. "I'll do that!" she said cheerfully. "Then you and Haru-nyan can tell me more about the time travelers, aliens, and espers that Mori-san mentioned existed!"

"And sliders," he added, as the school came into view ahead of them, and the car pulled to a halt.

"Ooh, those too?" She burst into laughter again. "This is gonna be fun!"


After getting to school early, Haruhi was surprised to find Kyon already waiting in the classroom, flipping through pages of finished homework and looking bored. "Hey!" she called, slapping his back companionably. "How goes life at the family penitentiary?"

"Well, mom's being unreasonable," he replied, shrugging. "Tsuruya-kun tried to help me out, but my mom has pretty amazing stubbornness, so I'm still grounded." When she scowled, he hefted a bento and added, "At least thanks to Tsuruya-kun, I won't starve."

She felt mollified by that, somewhat, and grudgingly nodded. "Breakfast," she said suddenly, shoving a sealed plastic container at him. "I don't get why your mom thinks that starvation is good for discipline."

He accepted the cold breakfast gratefully. "Dunno," he said around mouthfuls of the rice and vegetables. "Doesn't matter. Anyway, like I warned you, I'm being sent to Hinamizawa for Golden Week."

Her expression shifted to a pout, and she crossed her arms over her chest, scowling out the window. "That sucks," she grumbled. "So, you're not allowed to come to club meetings, and you're going to be gone for an entire week because your little sister wants to go to visit your cousins?"

He chewed thoughtfully for a long minute, and then said, "Yeah. I heard her calling my aunt and uncle last night, so they're expecting me, now."

Haruhi drummed her fingers on her desk, then sighed. "I'm hardly going to be able to monitor the school for suspicious activity, if we're always having lunch meetings. But if we don't meet for lunch, then I'll--" She cut herself off with a fake cough. "I mean, you'll hardly ever get to be with the rest of us!"

"Yeah," he sighed. He shook his head abruptly. "Well, in a way, I guess I'm just glad that ordeal is over. That kind of thing shouldn't happen too often, right?"

She thought about it for a bit. Pictures of her and her classmates being taken while they were undressing.... For some reason, it bothered her a lot more than it would have a year or so ago. Back then, she was indifferent to normal people seeing her take off her blouse; she remembered one instance where Asakura Ryouko had to bodily heave Kyon, Goto, and Kunikida out of the room because they weren't fast enough when she started to change.

But then, Kyon had become more interesting, and she realized if she gave everything away, there wouldn't be anything to entice him with--

A squeaking noise escaped her throat when Kyon pressed his right wrist against her forehead, frowning as he pressed his left wrist against his own. "You have a fever?" he asked. "You're all red."

"It's nothing!" she said quickly, realizing her face was hot with embarrassment. Okay, she decided, she could be a little honest at least; Kyon deserved that much. "W...well, actually," she allowed, as he lowered his wrist, one eyebrow raised at her, "I was just thinking how embarrassing it would be if those pictures got out...."

"I didn't really look at them," he said, shrugging. "I mean ... I caught a glance at a few of them, but it wasn't something I was really looking for."

Her face remained red; she'd had time to scan through quite a few of them. Not that she was trying to see what her classmates looked like in their underwear, or anything like that.... "Y...yeah," she agreed. "It would be pretty wrong to take advantage of a classmate like that."

For some reason, he looked bothered by that. "So ... what about those 'knockout' pictures of Asahina-san that you took?" he asked.

She shifted her shoulders and turned to stare out the windows. "I was never that kind of person," she mumbled. "I mean, I guess...." Ugh, stupid Kyon, bringing that up! Now she was going to feel terrible about that all day! She steeled herself and shot him a glower. "Thank you," she muttered. "I didn't realize how bad that could have been."

He wasn't looking at her, though, he was staring at the floor between his feet, his expression downcast. What did he have to be upset about?! He'd done the right thing and stopped her! Or ... was he disappointed in her, still?

"I'll find a way to make it up to her," she decided, crossing her arms over her chest. "That's my job as the leader of the SOS Brigade! Right?"

"Yeah," he answered, nodding, but not shifting his gaze. He shook himself, smacking his forehead with the heel of one palm. "Sorry," he said, shooting her a wry grin. "I told you once I thought you were at your best when you were looking out for others, and I think that's still true."

She couldn't help but sit up perfectly straight and thrust her chest out a little with pride. "Of course!" she cheered. "And speaking of helping others, as much as I want a full report on what you and Tsuruya-san were up to, hmm, I guess we'll just have to study at lunch. Do you think Tsuruya-san would be willing to stay with the club and explain things after school? She is supposed to give me receipts, after all."

He raised his eyebrows, considering. "Yeah," he said, nodding after a moment, as the classroom door opened and a trio of girls from the choir club trooped in, chatting amiably. "I think she can explain quite a bit."


Heading home, strangely early, thanks to being 'grounded', Kyon found himself accosted by Taniguchi and Kunikida on the walk to the train station. "Hey, you two," he said, nodding as they fell into step together.

"Nice to get a chance to speak with the legend himself," Kunikida said, smirking.

Taniguchi nodded, running one hand across his slicked-back hair. "I'll agree to that. You know, the entire school is still talking about you!"

"My notoriety increases," Kyon observed. "Really, I just wanted a normal life. I kind of wish I could have it back, actually." Though, for the sake of Yuki, he didn't regret ending up on the course he had.... Come to think of it, for Tsuruya, too, and it wasn't like he could complain about the way Haruhi acted around him that much, either. He worried that she wasn't being completely true to herself, but she seemed happy....

"What's not to like?" the pervert asked, looking at him askance. "I mean, the ladies love you, you've rounded up all the best looking ones into your club, your grades are coming up, the ladies love you, word on the street is that you've been regularly fighting crime in dark alleys or something, super-hero style, the ladies love you, you're a badass martial artist now, the ladies love you, you were a super-athlete in physical education today, the ladies love you...." He frowned thoughtfully, then added, "Just that last point alone should satisfy any normal, healthy male, right?"

Kyon felt suddenly ill. Taniguchi considered his outlook to be that of a 'healthy male'? What did that say about the way Kyon considered himself!? Was he a pervert, too? He resolved to talk to Mikuru about something that had been nagging him since that morning.

"You don't look very good," Kunikida noted. "Something bothering you?"

"Just an unpleasant thought," Kyon said, shaking his head. "Never mind that. Um, I guess I don't have much to complain about."

"Well, it must be something. You're with us, instead of your club today."

He waved a hand dismissively. "It turns out that even if everyone at the school thinks you did well, your parents tend to get pissed off when you go on a rule-breaking rampage and dangle someone out of a window until they wet themselves."

Taniguchi chuckled, adding, "Man, that was the most epic thing I've ever seen -- Goto, our class rep, recorded it on his cell-phone. There's already a few clips on the internet of it! It starts from right when you and Nagato Yuki are pulling Tsuruya-sempai back in through the window, and ends right when you bring Yamane Jun back in."

"He will not be missed," Kunikida opined, shaking his head. "I always thought that Taniguchi here was the epitome of perversion, but I guess he was outdone!"

"Hey! I resent that!" Taniguchi protested, frowning.

"How are things between you and Yanagimoto, anyway?" Kyon asked.

Taniguchi's frown deepened. "We're going on a date on Showa Day, the Friday before Golden Week kicks off," he mumbled. "You don't think she thinks I'm a pervert, do you?"

"She agreed to go on the date, didn't she?" Kunikida asked, smirking. "If she does think you're a pervert, she'd have to be one too to say yes."

"Actually," Taniguchi chuckled, grinning, "she asked me. Crazy, huh?"

"Stranger things have happened," Kyon decided. "But, good for you, Taniguchi."

"Haha, thanks, Kyon! How are things between you and Suzumiya? You were looking pretty close this morning!"

"No comment."

"Pssht. Fine," Taniguchi grumbled, thrusting his hands into his pockets. "At least I'll be going out on a date with Yanagimoto. Sometimes you make me feel like a sidekick character...."

"You, a sidekick?"

Kyon and Kunikida exchanged amused smirks, while Taniguchi gazed into the sky.

"Yeah, kinda," Taniguchi said. "You know how in harem anime, or most shounen anime, the male lead has two super-generic friends who go to school with them? They're usually a little different, but are just background characters. Might as well label them 'A' and 'B'."

Kyon raised an eyebrow and confessed, "Actually, no offense, but I always looked at you two that way. The ... girl-centric friend, and the smart friend."

"Why, thank you," Kunikida said, chuckling. "I admit; I considered you the same way! The girl-crazy friend, and the weirdness-magnet."

"Yeah, okay," Taniguchi grumbled. "I get the snarky friend and the condescending friend."

"It's not all bad," Kunikida assured him. "You're dating, after all, right?"

"And she's a gymnast, isn't she?" Kyon added. "That should work out really well for you."

Taniguchi narrowed his eyes at the pair. "I am so going to focus on romance over physical intimacy, just to prove you wrong," he swore. "Anyway, see you two tomorrow."

Kyon and Kunikida stopped at the intersection and watched him walk away. "Hey, Kyon," Kunikida said, glancing at the taller student sidelong. "Did we just inadvertently encourage Taniguchi to behave sensibly on his date?"

"I think we did," Kyon agreed, rubbing his chin. "I guess I'll count that for today's good deed."

"Hehe, I suppose the hero must track his quota, eh? I'll consider that a sidekick point for myself. Take care!"

Kyon nodded, smirking as he watched Kunikida turn the opposite direction from Taniguchi, and walk away.