# Kyon: Big Damn Hero

## Heroic Antics Begin Arc III

### Chapter Ten: School of Hard Knocks

Disclaimer: The novel series of Suzumiya Haruhi that began with 'The
Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi' is the creation of Nagaru Tanigawa. No
disrespect is intended by the posting of this fanfiction, as I do not own the
characters or settings involved. I'm merely dabbling with another set of
paints. TVtropes(dot)org is part of the public domain, I think? I actually
couldn't find a 'legal' section on the site!

Notes: Count the tropes! Save, collect, trade for swell prizes!

* * *

"Chapter Two: Asking for Help"

"Not everyone can handle an entire project single-handedly. Remember why you
have allies in the first place! Achieving something on your own is great, but
if the cost of failure is high, swallow your pride and spread the load
around."

"Methods of Victory" -- 'T.H.'

* * *

This time, when Yuki summoned him, he was both awake and expectant of it. The
bizarre teleportation effect she used was still disconcerting, but as he had
learned with time travel, easier when he closed his eyes. After arriving in
Yuki's living room, he cautiously opened his eyes.

Mikuru and Kanae seemed to have adjusted to the teleportation without any
trouble, though judging by the somewhat mournful expression that the older
girl was giving a pair of chopsticks in her right hand, she had been in the
middle of her dinner. "Nagato-san," she whimpered, "why don't you ever call me
first?"

Kanae merely flipped to the next page of the manga she was reading, seeming as
oblivious to the transition as always.

"You were not bathing," was Nagato's response.

Mikuru sighed and hung her head, muttering, "I'm still hungry...."

As much as Kyon liked the idea of seeing Mikuru -- again -- accidentally
pulled out of the bath.... He shook his head to banish the thought. "It
probably wouldn't hurt to call everyone first, Nagato," he said, giving a
shrug and smiling. "Unless it's an emergency again?"

"The situation is less critical," was her clipped response. She paused, as
Kanae finished her current chapter and looked around, blinking in surprise.
"However, due to recent focus, it would be beneficial for a readjustment of
priorities."

Kyon mulled this over for a minute, finally deducing, "Because the last
session went long, we need to choose something else to learn for now?"

Yuki gave her tiny nod in answer.

"I can't learn about sliding anymore?" Kanae asked worriedly, her manga
slipping from her fingers to fall on the floor by her side.

"It would be inadvisable without varying your experiences," Yuki said.

"So, this keeps us from being overwhelmed with too many years of experiences?"
Mikuru asked, shaking her head and looking thoughtful.

Yuki nodded again.

"Well, that's fine for me ... I think I've learned enough about sewing for the
moment."

Kyon frowned, pondering. What should he ask to learn? He had thought about
learning to drive, but somehow it seemed a waste of Yuki's power for something
so trivial.

"Um ... I guess if I can't practice the important thing right now, I'd like to
know something that let me keep from causing trouble to Sempai," Kanae
decided, giving an affirmative nod.

"Cooking!" Mikuru said decisively. "I could learn centuries of cooking
knowledge and never get it all! That's what I want!"

"That all aside," Kyon said, his eyes fixed on the humanoid interface as she
knelt, at the table, seemingly impassive, "do you know all of the things
you're teaching us? I mean ... it seems to me that you would have a hard time
making us learn things you weren't familiar with."

Yuki gave another nod. "In some instances, I must learn along with you," she
answered. "In some, my previously established knowledge suffices. All
interactions with Michikyuu Kanae so far have taken considerable study to
prepare."

"In that case," he decided, "I don't want to trouble you more than I have to;
I'll let you decide for me. Whatever you think would be beneficial for today."

"Understood," she answered. Once again, Kyon thought he saw that tiny trace of
a smile around her lips. "Is there anything else?"

He rubbed his wristwatch. "Nothing I can think of," he answered, smirking. "I
know that I want to focus on getting tougher the next time I learn martial
arts, but that'll need to wait a bit, won't it?"

Her eyes lowered to his watch, briefly, then returned to his. "Understood,"
she whispered, and this time, he realized she had meant a little bit more with
that word that he'd previously realized-- And didn't close his eyes quickly
enough to escape the nauseating transition of the world exploding away again.

* * *

It was a bit out of her way, and the immediate press to study had finally
faded, but she didn't mind swinging by the train station to wait for him
anyway. She was strongly tempted to yell at him for being late, but forced
herself to resist. She didn't like tsundere characters, and it seemed likely
that he didn't, either.

Despite the encouragement she had given to Mikuru, she wasn't about to
sabotage whatever chance she had with him, after all! Telling Mikuru to stand
up and then not leading by example.... Well! That would be stupid.

So when he got off the train, his step seeming lighter, she waited behind a
pillar until he passed, then fell into step beside him.

He noticed almost instantly, shooting her a sidelong glance and smirking.
"Good morning," he said, before she could say anything back to him.

"Morning," she agreed, smiling back. "How do you think you did on the test,
anyway?"

"I think I did really well, actually." He nodded. "Thanks to you. Oh, Golden
Week is the week after next, you know?"

"Of course I know!" she said indignantly. "Do you think I'd forget any special
day?"

"Of course not," he answered dryly. "Anyway, I just wanted to warn you that
depending on my sister and my mom's mood, I may end up going to visit my aunt
and uncle in the country."

"Oh?" Haruhi asked, frowning. That would be annoying ... but at least it was
still a week away. "Where in the country, anyway?"

"It's a small village called Hinamizawa," he answered, gazing skyward
absently. "On the north end of Honshu, not too far from the Tsugaru Strait."

"What's there to do out in the country, anyway?"

"Not a whole lot," he said with a shrug. "Mostly take a bus to Okinomiya, the
nearest larger city ... there's an arcade and some other things there, but I
end up having to babysit the cousins while the older folks go off and talk
about old times, play mahjong, go, that sort of thing."

"That sounds like a thrilling place," she said flatly.

"It's awesome," he agreed, rolling his eyes. "It's where my nickname came
from."

"Well, if you don't want to go, don't go!"

"That's why I'm telling you now," he said, his voice very patient. "My sister
can't travel so far on her own. So I may not have a choice in the matter."

"And your parents aren't going?" she asked, suspicious.

"Of course not," he answered, grimacing. "My mom doesn't like her brother
much. Naturally, I try to take after him as much as possible."

She snickered, rolling her eyes. Still, she was already wary of Kyon's mother.
Bad enough the woman gave him so much grief for doing a good deed, but exiling
him to a distant corner of Honshu to supervise his little sister while staying
behind with her husband for a week of vacation....

Suddenly, she thought she could understand the woman's motives, at least a
little bit. But in that case, the woman owed Haruhi -- and Tsuruya -- quite a
bit for the winter vacation!

Further thoughts were interrupted by the arrival of Taniguchi and Kunikida,
the taller of the two looking about anxiously, like a paranoid action hero.
The shorter of the duo looked vaguely ill, as though he wasn't pleased to be
involved, but somehow caught in Taniguchi's wake anyway.

"Taniguchi, Kunikida," Kyon said, by way of greeting.

"Yo," Taniguchi said quickly, casting about before giving the other boy a very
sharp look. "Okay, I'll make this quick."

Haruhi caught Kyon's languid blink, then focused her full attention on the
perverted classmate. "What now?" she asked in irritation.

He gave her an annoyed look, then turned his attention back to Kyon. "I'm not
clear on the why, but Yanagimoto really has it out for you, Kyon. Suzumiya,
too. If you two are a couple...."

"Never mind that for now," Haruhi said quickly, feeling her face warm up.
"What's this about Yanagimoto?" Sakanaka had mentioned her not long ago as
spreading the rumor that Kyon and Tsuruya were a couple. That was an easily
understandable fluke, and Haruhi didn't care for rumors if they didn't lead to
exciting and unusual things. High school romance tended to be deplorably
simple, so if there was something else....

"Like I said," Taniguchi grumbled. "I don't know all the details. But I'll
tell you this much -- Yanagimoto is spinning rumors like.... Like a.... Ah,
damn, I'm no good at these things. You make it sound easy, Kyon. Is analogies
the word?"

"What?" Kyon asked, mystified.

"Hyperbolic comparisons," Kunikida interjected. "Falling short of adynaton."

"Yes, well, setting aside the need for a dictionary or a translator, why not
just try it again in plain language, Taniguchi?" Kyon suggested, rolling his
eyes. "Especially since you look like you're terrified of being seen by
someone."

"Right, leave the prose for the pros," Taniguchi agreed. "Okay, Yanagimoto is
spinning rumors about you being a delinquent -- telling anyone who will listen
terrible things about you. I'll admit, there were so many they kind of blurred
together for me, but I've wormed my way into her good graces by pretending to
be totally blinded by her physical appearances, so believe me, I've heard a
_lot_."

"Brilliant cover," Haruhi commented, mimicking Kyon's typical deadpan. "No one
would ever suspect you of being that sort of person."

"Naturally," he agreed, giving her a smirk before schooling his expression and
turning back to Kyon. Kunikida sighed and hung his head; after shooting her an
amused grin, Kyon gave Kunikida a sympathetic look. "Anyway, she's trying to
say you're a violent brute, and that you're caught up in some crazy scheme
that Suzumiya cooked up -- and you've somehow roped in Tsuruya-sempai,
coercing her cooperation with some sort of compromising photo."

The amusement drained from Kyon's expression instantly. She caught _that_,
even if she didn't understand all the details yet. "Anything else?" he asked,
hitching his bag slightly higher on his shoulder.

"Eh ... something about you beating up a first year, Manabe Sato...something?"
Taniguchi said, squinting. "Supposedly you put him in a hospital two nights
ago, but no one knows why."

"I can set her straight easily enough," Haruhi decided, clenching one hand
into a fist. It wouldn't do for Kyon to 'persuade' a girl to be quiet, and
anyway, she was itching to do something on her own, what with Kyon being
wrapped up in Tsuruya's investigation. "She's only a gymnast, so it shouldn't
be too hard, right?"

Kyon shot her an appraising look, then shook his head. "I don't think that's a
good idea," he countered. "If she's trying to paint us in a bad light, is
force the answer?"

"Anyway, even if she's spreading the rumors, I doubt she's the one who's
actually creating them," Kunikida noted.

"Eh?" Taniguchi managed, surprised. "What, you've been paying attention, too?"

"Well, Kyon's been more distracted than usual, and the one other person I
usually eat with is so busy fawning over Yanagimoto-san I've got little left
to do but watch and think," the shorter boy said, somewhat reprovingly.
"Yanagimoto-san is most likely being led by someone to do this."

Kyon's brow furrowed, and he glanced around before giving Kunikida a
thoughtful look. "I don't suppose you've seen her with Yamane recently?" he
asked.

"Yamane?" Haruhi asked, trying to remember the name. It sounded familiar, but
she couldn't think of who it was off the top of her head.

"Yamane Jun," Kunikida mused. "Ah ... yes, now that you mention it Kyon, I
have seen them together quite recently."

"Figures," he grumbled. "Thank you for that update, then. Ah, everyone, sorry,
but I need to go on ahead and speak with Tsuruya-kun."

"Wait!" she protested as he readjusted his bag once more and burst into a
full-out run up the slope of the hill.

"You...." Taniguchi trailed off with a frown, staring after Kyon. "Holy cow.
When did he get so fast, anyway?"

Gritting her teeth, Haruhi threw herself into a run behind him, annoyed at how
slow she was to catch up. He hadn't run _nearly_ so fast when the brigade was
involved in the relay race! After dashing through the gate, Kyon slowed,
reaching a reasonable speed just as he trotted to where Mikuru and Tsuruya
were walking together, side-by-side.

"Sorry, Asahina-san," he said, slightly winded, bowing to the pair as Haruhi
jogged to a halt and glared at him, her breath short as well. "Ah, Tsuruya-
kun, could we speak in private concerning the investigation?"

"Okies!" Tsuruya said cheerfully, as always. "Got some new infos?"

He nodded solemnly, flinching when he glanced back and caught Haruhi's gaze.
"It's all classified," he said, defensively.

"I understand," Mikuru said, sighing. "Oh, Suzumiya-san! I went shopping for
some things for ... um...." She trailed off and looked thoughtful, staring at
the sky for the moment. "Our own secret project?" she posed.

Haruhi stared at the upperclassman. "Are you trying a weak distraction ploy
like that to keep me from finding out what Tsuruya-san and Kyon are talking
about?"

"Eh?" Mikuru looked taken aback. "What? No, no! I just didn't want to spoil
the surprise for Kyon-kun! And they already left, anyway."

Glancing around, Haruhi realized with a groan that she was right. Somehow,
Tsuruya and Kyon had sneaked off while she was staring at Mikuru! "Alright,"
she grudgingly allowed. "What's this secret thing you've picked up?"

Mikuru hummed happily and reached into her schoolbag, rummaging around for a
bit before pulling out a small paper bag and holding it out for Haruhi.
"Here!" she said enthusiastically. "I thought about what you said it would
need, and ... well ... I had forgotten to pick them up earlier anyway!"

Haruhi took the bag and opened it up, reaching in and pulling out a button. It
wasn't too large for a man's coat, made of some yellowish metal. "Ooh," she
said, realizing what it was, her irritation vanishing. Best to take advantage
of the situation; Mikuru was right that she should be glad she had her own
secret project for the time being. "I approve! Good choice, Mikuru-chan."

"They're brass," she added, when Haruhi gave the bag back. "They'll just get
smudged before I finish, but once the coat is complete, if they're polished,
they'll shine bright, almost like gold!"

"Really?" Haruhi mused, smoothing her hair ribbons absently. "Hmm, that sounds
even better!"

* * *

"Okies," Tsuruya said, glancing around to check that no one else was in
earshot. "What's going on?"

"Looks like Yamane is spreading rumors about Haruhi and myself," Kyon
explained quickly. "So, do we even have a solid fix on who the ringleader in
this thing is?"

Tsuruya pursed her lips and gave a terse nod. "I checked all the records. It's
pretty obvious, really. I don't know if they're all in on it, but so far
everyone involved is a member of the idol research club."

"That kind of makes sense," he agreed. "Still. If Yamane's trying to make
trouble for Haruhi and myself, that means he's got a pretty good idea that
we're after him -- and that's going to make this a lot harder."

Tsuruya nodded again, frowning. "Okies. We gets the bosses first. Daimonji, or
Yamane?"

Kyon pinched the bridge of his nose in thought. "Daimonji is a third year," he
decided. "Like Ryuguu. Do you know which class?"

"Yep! 3-5; I've seen him around. Had a class with him last years. You sure
it's okay to ignore Yamane?"

"Probably not," he admitted, grimacing. "But ... well, Kunikida is watching
Yamane for the moment -- do you think we can finish this up today?"

"I'm not sure," she said, her smile fading. "If we get the bosses, then we
just needs them to give up their collectors, right? But ... what if they won't
talk?"

Kyon resisted the temptation to suggest threatening them with the Tsuruya
family's power. After all, as Tsuruya's trial, she could only rely on herself
and her chosen guardian. He could try strong-arming ... whoever ... himself,
but that was going to cause him further trouble, and anyway.... He blinked
with a sudden realization. "Tsuruya-kun, did Kasai have any subordinates?"

"Huh?" She smiled and nodded, pitching her voice low. "Several! But he's well
placed in our family now, so his subordinates are messengers and advisers,
talking to other families or acting as under-bosses of their own."

"If he were to order them, could they assist you without jeopardizing the
trial?"

Her smile completely vanished. "Um, yeah. But, they do important works! I
don't want to rely on them; it would cause a lot of trouble."

Kyon felt a grin forming. "But then, by that logic, if _I_ had subordinates,
they could help, too?"

She nodded, eyes widening as her smile returned. "Kyon-kun! You're so smart!"
she cheered, pumping one fist in the air. "Okies! We can take on the bosses,
and ask Haru-nyan to help out with the rest, right?"

"Exactly right," he agreed. "And I already asked Haruhi to bail me out with
the student council if she had to and I got in trouble."

Tsuruya's smile widened into an ominous grin. "Kyon-kun," she chirped, "when
lunchtime rolls around, I think it's time for us to get _results_!"

He felt himself grinning back, and wondered if his expression were as
dangerous as Tsuruya's. That question was answered when a first year boy,
humming to himself, walked around the bank of shoe lockers, emitting a
terrified squeak as the pair glanced at him in perfect unison.

"Oh!" she said suddenly, her smile shifting instantaneously to her normal,
warm friendly expression. "I talked to Mikuru-chan this morning. So ...
there's something I gots to talk to Haru-nyan about anyway. Hum ... do you
think at lunch you can handle Daimonji-san alone while I talk things over with
Haru-nyan? Technically, you're my subordinate, so I should be able to talk to
her, too, right?"

"Er," he said, his smile slipping. "Um ... let me tell Haruhi that we're going
to involve her in the investigation, first, but sure. Come to think of it,
I'll drag Koizumi along. Does that sound like a plan, Tsuruya-kun?"

"It's a solid plan, and I endorse it," Tsuruya agreed, grinning. "Good luck,
Kyon-kun!"

* * *

When the lunch chime rang, Haruhi strolled toward the clubroom in no
particular rush, until Kyon manifested at her side, seeming to appear from
nothing as he checked his wristwatch. Before she could even say hello, or ask
about the test he'd just gotten handed back, he said in a quiet voice, "We
don't have much time, but Tsuruya-kun and I decided to ask you for help with
our investigation."

She didn't fight the grin she felt forming on her face. "Oh, yeah?" she asked,
glad she was finally involved.

He gave a very serious nod in reply, glancing around the hallway before
saying, "I'm going to let Tsuruya-kun fill you in on the specifics ... but
we're going to give you something that will turn Yanagimoto against Yamane,
unless she's completely insane. After that, Tsuruya-kun and I are going to
confront some of the bosses of the group we're checking out, but we need you
and the rest of the brigade to be prepared to bring everything we've uncovered
in the field to the school administration."

"The student council, eh?" she asked, her smile fading. "You say you're
bringing me in, but now it sounds like a police drama, and I was just given a
lousy desk job."

"Well," Kyon said after a thoughtful moment, "I guess if you don't want to be
involved--"

"Stupid," she countered, elbowing him in the ribs before he could continue. "I
didn't say I wouldn't help! But your half-assed explanation raises a lot of
questions -- what the hell are you actually investigating, anyway?"

"I have to admit I'm not really comfortable talking about it," Kyon answered,
grimacing.

She raised an eyebrow at that. What bothered Kyon, anyway? That question
answered itself quickly; two of the three times she'd seen Kyon genuinely
upset, it involved a threat to his friends. "I still want to _know_," she
warned him.

"Tsuruya-kun will explain it to you," he said, shaking his head quickly as
they rounded the corner of the stairwell and the club room door came into
sight. "In the meantime, I need to borrow Koizumi, if you don't mind?"

"What for?" she asked, cocking her head slightly to one side. "Or is that
something I can't know, either?"

"The simple answer is that thanks to Yanagimoto, I'm going to be playing 'bad
cop', and Koizumi can be 'good cop'," he said, smirking at her.

She opened the door, unsurprised to see Yuki at the table, opening up the
laptop she typically used and not looking toward the door. Kyon took a seat
opposite from her, and Haruhi took the spot at his side. With uncharacteristic
speed, Kyon unwrapped his bento and tore into his lunch, finishing just
moments before Tsuruya slid to a halt outside the doorway, Mikuru and Kanae in
tow.

Koizumi was only a few steps behind her. "Hello," he said cheerfully, as
Tsuruya gave a sharp salute and marched to sit next to Kyon. "Oh, serious
faces today, is it?"

"So it seems," Haruhi allowed. "Koizumi, you're being assigned to help Kyon
out today, so ... good luck!"

"Er," Koizumi managed, setting down his lunch and giving a questioning glance
to the other boy.

"Yeah, good luck, Kyon-kun!" Tsuruya agreed, handing Kyon a sheet of paper
with a photograph attached to it with a paper-clip. "This is Daimonji."

"Class 3-5, right?" Kyon asked, rising from his seat and studying the picture.
"Ah, of course ... even says so here. Okay, thanks, Tsuruya-kun. I'll leave
things here to you and Haruhi, then."

"Got it!" she said brightly. "You'll make a good saiko-komon!"

"Ooh, good idea," he mused, while Haruhi felt her mouth drop open. Why would
Tsuruya give Kyon a title as a yakuza advisor to a major boss? Before she
could ask, he fished an elaborate jeweled pin from his pocket and stuck it to
his tie; a golden crane with tiny diamond eyes on a sharp green five-sided
backdrop. Haruhi stared while Tsuruya gave him an appraising look, then mussed
his hair, loosened his tie, and untucked his shirt.

"Hands in your pants pockets," she instructed him. "Shoulders back, head down,
don't smile unless you're menacing someone."

Haruhi was joined in staring by Mikuru and Kanae. "K...Kyon-kun," Mikuru
managed, "you look like a delinquent!"

"Perfect," he said, glancing at Koizumi, who merely blinked, his smile
unwavering. "You're going to do most of the talking. I assume that the
Organization is reasonably aware of what we're doing?"

"I haven't a clue!" the clean-cut boy replied cheerfully. "I suppose you can
fill me in on the way? I feel a bit clueless about this right now...."

"Welcome to my world," Kyon said, giving a shrug, limited by his hands in his
pockets. "I'll fill you in on the way. In the meantime, let me know if I'm
failing to look delinquent enough, okay?"

He strode out the door confidently, then Koizumi straightened himself up and
made sure his tie was neat before following.

The door clicked shut quietly behind them. "What the hell was _that_!" Haruhi
exploded, standing up so quickly her chair fell over. "Kyon can't be getting
intro trouble by acting like a delinquent! Tsuruya-san, I don't say this idly,
but if you cause trouble for Kyon, I will be _very_ upset with you!"

"T...they were really hot like that," Kanae stuttered, her eyes wide and her
cheeks pink. "Ooh...."

Tsuruya shrank back slightly, rubbing the back of her neck with one hand and
giving a nervous chuckle. "Um ... let me show you what Kyon-kun and I are
investigating," she said. She reached into one pocket and produced an SD card.
"Your computer can read this, right?"

"Negative," Yuki answered, looking at the card. Haruhi was certain that the
normally impassive girl showed a tiny bit of interest, despite her usually
inexpressive face. "However, the laptops are appropriately equipped."

"Okies, Nagato-chi, then you handle this," Tsuruya said, handing the card to
the smaller girl.

Yuki gave a very tiny nod and accepted the card, loading it into the laptop
and clicking several times before she blinked at the screen. "Well?" Haruhi
demanded, when nothing was said. Yuki blinked several more times, then turned
the laptop screen toward Haruhi.

* * *

"I ... see," Koizumi managed in a voice that quavered only slightly. "And,
Suzumiya-san is aware?"

Haruhi's scream of rage echoed down the corridor before Kyon could respond.

"She is now," the pseudo-delinquent replied flatly.

"Right," Koizumi said, shaking his head. "Daimonji-san in class 3-5, then?"

"Yeah. You'll be talking to him, and I'll be the muscle."

"If your image weren't already set, I'd strongly suggest switching our roles,"
Koizumi said after a moment, as they turned the corridor to the third year
classrooms.

"Really?" Kyon asked with obvious skepticism, glancing at him sidelong.

"Well, yes," the esper replied, frowning. "I have had a small amount of
training in self defense, and you have more knowledge of the situation."

Kyon stopped where he stood, then shook his head, pointing to the pin on his
tie. "You know what this means?"

Koizumi stopped walking as well, and grimaced, his smile completely vanished
for the moment. "No," he admitted. "My area of instruction outside of the
school curriculum was centered almost entirely on things that were of interest
to Suzumiya-san and the Organization."

With a crestfallen look, Kyon looked at the pin on his tie. "Well ...
hopefully Daimonji recognizes it. Long story short, it's a symbol of Tsuruya-
kun's family. If Daimonji knows what it means, he should be terrified of us.
As to self defense training ... well. I can take care of myself with him.
Trust me in that, just like I trust you to be able to talk to Daimonji,
alright?"

"As you wish," Koizumi allowed, taking a moment to compose himself and putting
his smile back on. Friendly, not too menacing. Kyon's irritation left his eyes
slightly shadowed, which only amplified his 'delinquent' appearance. "We make
quite the pair, though. I hope this works."

Kyon allowed a tiny smile of his own.

* * *

Humming slightly to herself, Yanagimoto watched Taniguchi happily scurry from
the room in search of the canned drink she had requested. He was really not
that bright, but made for a useful pawn ... in a way, his feverish devotion
was kind of endearing, too. His looks weren't despicable by a long shot, and
even though he wasn't terribly athletic, he was still amusing.

Not as smart as his short friend, or as clever. But not all bad, and he was
probably the most informed person in the school as to Haruhi's background.
Well, most informed person who wasn't in Haruhi's clutches, at any rate.

She tapped her fingers across her desk absently, glancing toward Haruhi's
empty seat, and the seat in front of it. She didn't particularly like causing
the boy she only remembered as Kyon trouble, as he was in many ways a victim
himself.... However, Haruhi needed to be taught a lesson, and Yanagimoto was
going to see that it was done.

Dismiss _her_ club after trying it a single day with those disdaining remarks,
and then found her own supposed 'club'? And it wasn't as though she were the
only person slighted, either!

Well, thanks to Yamane Jun's hard work, solid evidence of her wrongdoing was
slowly but surely coming to light. As long as she could keep Kyon busy for
Yamane, Haruhi's club would be finished off for good. Already the school rumor
mill was alive with the stories Yamane -- poor boy -- had relayed to her. And
his own innocent photography club ... victimized by Haruhi ... well, soon
enough that would end, too.

Her ruminations were interrupted by Taniguchi's return, looking over his
shoulder strangely before he shook his head and gave her a can of soda. "Here
you go," he said with a wide grin. "Anything else, Yanagimoto-hime?"

She tried not to snicker at him. He tried way too hard ... but it was kind of
cute, anyway. "Really, Taniguchi-kun, you didn't have to get this for me," she
told him, taking the can.

"I live to serve!" he proclaimed without a single visible trace of hesitation.
"So, what's the latest news?"

And on _that_ note.... "I haven't heard anything new," she told him, shaking
her head. "I suppose I could ask around.... Hmm, Taniguchi-kun, why don't you
wait here a bit? I'll see if I can't find anything else out, alright?"

He nodded at her and then strolled to Kunikida's side, slapping the shorter
boy companionably on the back. Yanagimoto shook her head again and rose from
her seat, taking her soda with her. Yamane wasn't in the classroom at the
moment -- he was working on the investigation to reveal the full depravity of
Haruhi's plot, which had already turned Kyon into a full-blown delinquent.

Mostly, she just needed a break from Taniguchi, and more than that, she didn't
want to spend all of her time being a gossip. It might have been one of her
gifts, but she had no reason to earn herself a label as that kind of girl. As
she walked across the classroom, she caught Sakanaka giving her an unfriendly
glower, and coolly stared the other girl down. Stuck-up little rich girl ...
joining the chorus because she didn't have what it took to be an athlete?

She was so caught up with looking over her shoulder at Sakanaka that when she
walked through the door she was totally unprepared to have one of her arms
seized by Nagato Yuki. "What do you think you're doing," she hissed
indignantly, whipping her head around to glare at the shorter girl. There was
no _way_ a literature club member was going to win a fight of physical
strength with her!

Her other arm was just as quickly seized by Tsuruya, Haruhi's latest victim,
according to Yamane. While Tsuruya grinned, one fang glinting, Yuki was
totally impassive. Tsuruya might beat her in a fight, she wasn't certain ...
and they had strength in numbers. "Come with us," Tsuruya said concisely. "We
gots something to show you."

Uncomfortable about it, but not entirely willing to create a bigger scene, she
reluctantly allowed herself to be dragged through the school until she found
herself in a dim stairwell, one that led to the roof, according to signs. The
roof was closed to students, and she was about to start her protests in
earnest, when she realized that standing before the roof access door was none
other than Haruhi herself.

"I should have known," Yanagimoto growled. "So, getting your accomplices to
drag me to some quiet corner of the school? What next, you threaten me with
violence? I'm not scared of you!" The two girls released her, but stayed
between her and the only escape route, down the stairs.

Haruhi's eyes narrowed slightly. "I don't really know what you have against me
or Kyon," she said simply, holding a digital camera up. "But that's not the
point, here."

Yanagimoto grimaced, steeling herself. "I heard of what you did to the
computer club president," she snapped. "And how you're coercing Tsuruya-sempai
to help you out!"

The girl at the top of the staircase rolled her eyes and pressed some buttons
on the camera. "Whatever, the computer club thing happened over a year ago.
And I'm not coercing Tsuruya-san, she came to _me_ for help."

"That's true!" Tsuruya said, far too cheerfully.

"What?" Yanagimoto shook her head at the claim. "Never mind that. What's your
supposed point?"

"You think Yamane's your friend?" Haruhi asked coolly. "Did he tell you that
Kyon took something from him? An SD card, maybe?"

She nodded grudgingly. More than one ... all of the boy's best compositions,
according to what Yamane had said.

Haruhi suddenly turned the camera around, the display facing Yanagimoto. "This
is what was on Yamane's card," she explained. "Still think he's your friend?"

She felt the blood first drain from her face, and then all collect there, as
she stared at the image and a sensation of slowly creeping horror began to
rise from her ankles. It rattled her knees, leaving them weak, then scratched
her spine, making her shake, and finally settled in the back of her skull,
leaving her world spinning as an enraged shriek escaped her lips.

* * *

"Okay, so ... how do we ask him to leave the classroom?" Kyon pondered, as
they approached the door to class 3-5.

"I will politely ask him," Koizumi suggested, studying his 'delinquent'
companion. Already Kyon had garnered unsettled looks from passing students ...
and just as worryingly, more than a few enthusiastic and interested smiles
from various girls. Best not to let that get back to Haruhi, though Kyon
fortunately seemed to be totally blind to such things.

Maybe it was a mixed blessing, in the end.

"And if that doesn't work?" Kyon asked, glancing at him.

"You crack your knuckles and say 'please'."

"Sounds good. On you, then."

Koizumi nodded, leading the way into the classroom with his most pleased grin.
Daimonji was almost identical to his photograph, a generally average looking
boy with neat, black hair and unremarkable features. His eyes flicked to the
doorway, passing over Koizumi, then locking on Kyon.

Before either could approach, he gave a sigh and a mild shake of his head.
Leaving half of his lunch uneaten, Daimonji solemnly rose from his seat and
approached the pair. "You're here to meet with me?" he asked, before Koizumi
could speak.

Kyon nodded. Koizumi added, "If it's not too much trouble?"

"Yeah, sure," Daimonji grunted. "Come on."

Neither of the brigade members were pleased that he had seized control of the
initiative, but Daimonji led the way down the hall and into the nearest boy's
washroom. After glancing at the stalls to verify they were empty, Kyon stood
by the door, leaning against it and blocking easy entrance. Daimonji glanced
at him, then leaned against the wall by the sinks, sighing again.

"Okay," he said suddenly, glance flicking between the two again before he
reached into his blazer and pulled out a narrow manila envelope. "I can see
how this is going down; I'm not happy to have been part of it. I'm hoping that
we can talk this out like reasonable people, and I won't end up with a broken
nose or a bleeding scalp."

"That's a good wish," Koizumi said, nodding cheerfully. This sounded
promising, at least. "Now, am I to understand that you're offering your
cooperation with us?"

"I don't know what authorities you answer to, but lets be brutally honest --
I'm a third year student. I'm not going to flip out like Ryuguu and pick a
fight over this, not if I can get out relatively unscathed. It's early in the
year. If I work at it, I can finish at some other school, still go on to
college, and as long as I'm careful about it, still end up with a respectable
career."

Kyon nodded wordlessly, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning against
the door more heavily when someone tried it. "Occupied," he growled, sending
whoever was on the other side scurrying away.

"This sounds reasonable to me," Koizumi allowed. "I cannot vouch for anyone
else's opinion, but I think it's safe to say that we will hear you out."

"Okay. So ... this envelope has everything I've collected -- all my master
copies, and so on," Daimonji explained. "I'm no spy. There's no hidden backup
anywhere -- except for the one kept by the boss."

"And the ringleader is...?"

"Yamane Jun," Daimonji answered with a shrug. "He became the president of the
idol research club in February, when our old president left. He started the
entire racket and split us into cells. There was him, and three under-bosses.
Myself, Ryuguu, and Manabe. Ryuguu managed sales, the rest of us managed our
collectors. The other third year collectors are named in this envelope."

Koizumi took the envelope from Daimonji's fingers, but didn't open it.

"We have the first years," Kyon commented. "If you say 'cells', then only
Yamane and the second year collectors know who they are?"

Daimonji nodded. "That's right. The club has a few bonus members ... people
who caught wind of what was going on through internet searches or whatnot.
Before everything was established, he set it up so that half of the members
are just rubes who don't really know what's going on, and half are actually
doing the dirty work. I'll admit; I was lured in by the promise of easy
money." He shrugged, grimacing. "That's not an excuse, and I know that. But
... it's hard to back out of an organization once you get started, and ...
sometime, not too long ago ... Yamane lost it. And not just a little bit!"

"Go on," Koizumi said, smiling as he tucked the envelope into his own blazer.

Daimonji chewed his lower lip and glanced at Kyon, then spread his arms in a
shrug. "Not sure how else to explain it ... but he had a real fixation on one
of your classmates."

"One of mine?" Kyon asked, raising an eyebrow.

The third year boy nodded. "I mean, pictures of a classmate, that's fine.
Maybe somewhat scandalous pictures of a classmate ... sure, that can happen.
But Yamane took it a step further."

Kyon's expression flickered darkly. "Who," he growled.

Daimonji looked away uncomfortably. "Dunno her name," he admitted. "Yamane
just worships her and says that you're the one who ruined everything. He calls
her his 'Tenshi'. Occasionally he mutters about her 'scent'. When this all
started, I thought it was low-key and sensible enough, right?"

Koizumi didn't really see where the third year boy was coming from, and shook
his head slightly in negation. When someone tried to push the door open, Kyon
slammed one fist against it, causing the entire thing to shudder with a
snapped, "Occupied!"

"W...well ... yeah, okay, I should have known it was wrong from the start,"
Daimonji sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose with his right hand. "It was
the money, really. He arranged everything, and Ryuguu had a good connection
with ... someone, I don't know who, really."

"They're not in the picture anymore," Kyon said resolutely.

Daimonji winced. "Uh ... that's great. Anyway, I want out with minimal harm to
myself, all told. What kind of deal can we make?"

"I want to know everything about the master copies Yamane has that you can
tell us," Koizumi said. "Where are they kept?"

"Guy's crazy, his house could be full of backups," Daimonji said with an
apologetic shrug. "Maybe a safety deposit box somewhere. I know there's copies
of everything he has on the computer in the idol research clubroom ... but
there could be more -- a lot more. I just want out. You two ... seem to know
what you're doing, so I'm guessing that he's pissed off the wrong people.
That's fine. I just don't want to be a part of it, anymore."

Kyon nodded thoughtfully. "What are you planning on doing from here?" he
asked. "Do you have an exit strategy, or are you expecting us to help you
out?"

"I...." Daimonji licked his lips nervously and shook his head. "I was kind of
hoping this would be more like a police drama, I guess? That one of you offers
me a deal with the D.A., and I can plea bargain.... You know?"

"It may be possible to arrange that," Koizumi allowed, glancing back at Kyon
and giving a small nod. "However ... you are correct in that it would be in
your better interests to leave. My suggestion, then, would be to have a good
reason to go home. Do not attempt to contact Yamane, or your subordinates.
Just ... go home, make sure your story is in order when official questioning
comes along -- and it will -- and if you want to save face, see about
withdrawing before you are expelled."

Daimonji abruptly straightened up with a sharp nod. "I appreciate that. All
the same, the way things are going ... you should make your move quickly."

Kyon grunted, stepping away from the door and walking to one of the sinks to
wash his hands. Koizumi gave the third year student a nod of his own, and
Daimonji sauntered slowly toward the door, hands in his pockets before it
suddenly slammed open, revealing Okabe, still in his track suit, breathing
heavily. Behind him was a trembling first year boy, who went wide-eyed at the
sight of Kyon, squeaked in alarm, and streaked away at full speed.

"What's going on here?" the teacher demanded, scanning across the boys with
narrowed eyes.

"Oh, my," Koizumi managed, his smile not slipping. "We can't have privacy in
the washrooms anymore?"

"It's fine," Daimonji said, sighing. "These second years were helping me out.
I've been feeling ill all day ... if you don't need me for anything, I'll go
to the nurse's office and see about going home."

Okabe frowned, studying Daimonji, but allowing a brief nod before his eyes
went to the boy who was washing his hands. "Kyon," he snapped. "What's with
that appearance?"

Kyon finished washing his hands and then ran his hands through his hair,
roughly slicking it back into order. "Well," he said, glancing back at his
teacher with his typical, placid expression, "I'm in a washroom, I was washing
my hands, and as you can see, my shirt is untucked. I don't believe it takes a
genius to explain the functions of a toilet, but if you _must_ know, I spent
some time in that stall there," he said, nodding toward the stall furthest to
the back. After drying his hands, he tucked his shirt in and straightened his
tie, checking his reflection in the mirror before turning back to Okabe. "Is
something wrong?"

Okabe looked doubtful. "I heard that someone was being threatened in here," he
said. "Someone was holding the door shut."

Koizumi shrugged. "Perhaps you heard incorrectly?" he suggested.

The teacher took a deep breath. "I've been hearing unflattering things about
you," he warned Kyon.

"Really?" Kyon asked. "I thought I did pretty well on that last math test."

"I'll see you in homeroom," Okabe finally decided, shaking his head and
walking away.

As the door swung shut, Koizumi turned to face the brigade vice-commander.
"That," he said, "was nothing short of _astounding_. You heard him coming?"

"No, we lucked out," the other boy allowed. "Now. The question is, with the
time we have left ... go straight after Yamane, or check in with Haruhi?"

"I vote for cooperating with Suzumiya-san," Koizumi said resolutely.

"Don't complain to me if we cut classes to deal with Yamane," Kyon warned,
pulling his cell from his pocket as he re-entered the hallway.

* * *

Kanae wasn't certain what had upset Haruhi so much. She also had no idea what
her sempai and Koizumi had run off to handle, but guessed they were related.
Mikuru was likewise comfortably oblivious to the reasons behind the rage and
rush. So, while slowly enjoying her lunch along with a cup of tea from the
upperclassman, Kanae lost herself in the final volume of Caravan Kidd.

It was usually her favorite manga, being old enough that -- evidently -- it
tended to be consistent throughout every reality that she slid to. She really
would have preferred to watch the Trope-tan anime, but that seemed _wildly_
divergent between realities ... though, production value was almost always
very high in every world she'd seen.

Mikuru hummed and took half of the table up with a giant roll of paper,
carefully measuring outlines and making marks. Kanae was curious as to the
nature of the project ... and as soon as she finished her manga, she planned
on asking the upperclassman what she was up to. The door opened and Kanae
looked up as Haruhi marched to the laptop Yuki had left turned on, Yuki,
Tsuruya, and an unfamiliar girl with a glowing red face just behind her.

"Hello!" she greeted the quartet cheerfully.

"Ah," Mikuru managed, rising to pour tea for everyone. "Who's our guest?"

"Yanagimoto Ai," the girl introduced herself with a grumble. "Temporary ally."

Haruhi introduced Mikuru and Kanae in turn, naming them, "Chief Mascot" and
"Mascot Trainee".

Kanae wondered if that meant she would get fun costumes like Mikuru. Hopefully
another maid outfit, since her sempai really seemed to like those!

"Okay," Haruhi said, "now to wait for Kyon to tell us what he got!" Before
anyone could ask clarification, Haruhi's phone began to chime. "Ah! It's
Kyon!"

"What was that song?" Mikuru asked. "Is that a new ring-tone?"

"It's from an older DDR soundtrack," Yanagimoto noted, her expression still
dark. "It's called 'God of Romance'."

Haruhi's face reddened and she shot a death-glare at Yanagimoto. The other
girl ignored it, sipping at her tea.

"Kyon," Haruhi snapped into her phone, "what's going on?"

She listened to his explanation, her eyebrows rising. "Okay," she allowed.
"Bring it here, then we'll take down the final boss! It's obvious, really!"

"What's going on?" Kanae asked, setting her manga down.

Tsuruya raised an eyebrow of her own. "If it's a final boss, I gotta be there
too," she said resolutely.

"I don't particularly want to miss it myself," Haruhi grumbled. "Ah, but,
Kanae-chan, Kyon and Koizumi are finally starting to wrap things up.
Yanagimoto is going to help expose the big boss and we'll resolve everything."

That wasn't really much of an answer, so Kanae just gave a knowing nod and
turned her attention to Yanagimoto. "You play DDR?" she asked.

"Not really," the second year girl answered, seeming to only just notice Kanae
for the first time. "It's a pretty fast song, but one of the gymnasts I
admired had a routine set to it not long ago."

Just as well, Kanae decided, DDR was fun, but every world had a wildly varying
selection of tracks, so she never got very good at it. "So, you're a gymnast,
then?" she asked.

"Yeah ... you should ask your president about it. She joined our club for one
day before she ditched us."

"It was boring," Haruhi noted unapologetically.

"And this club is more interesting?" Yanagimoto asked skeptically.

"You bet," Haruhi replied, throwing back her entire cup of tea in a single
gulp. "Stick around a while, you'll see."

Kanae's sempai knocked at the door, and Mikuru folded her paper in half,
hiding the markings. "Come in!" she called.

Koizumi opened the door and entered, followed by the sempai. "Ah? What
happened to delinquent-mode?" Tsuruya asked, hopping to her feet and moving to
Kanae's sempai's side.

"Ran into a teacher and needed to look normal," he answered.

Tsuruya nodded sagely and plucked the pin from the boy's tie, moving it to his
lapel. "There," she said decisively.

Koizumi glanced at the other boy, pulling an envelope from his pocket.
"Daimonji has been taken care of," he said. "Well, mostly. Mori-san will take
care of things from the administrative end, and the Organization will be ready
to take care of everything else we need done once we've finished this and can
deliver a full report to them on ... what's going on."

"Good," Haruhi said, nodding. "Excellent work." Her gaze went to Kanae's
sempai, and one eyebrow rose. Mikuru was running a length of string across
him, measuring him and jotting notes down on a pad of paper. "So, was there
any violence?"

"Weirdly enough, we lucked out and Daimonji folded like a cheap suit," he
answered, shrugging. "We just came in and-- WAAH!" He stared wide-eyed, at
Mikuru, who was merely humming to herself as she pulled her hands back from
his leg and jotted another note down on her pad of paper.

"That..." Haruhi started, before she fell short, narrowing her eyes and
staring at Mikuru intently. "That was pretty bold, Mikuru.... I'm not sure how
I feel about being that forward, but I think it'd better not happen again any
time soon!"

"Did.... Did Asahina-san just molest Sempai?" Kanae wondered, not sure if she
had seen it right, or it was her imagination.

"What?" Mikuru asked, blinking as she looked around at everyone else in the
club, all with eyes fixed on her. "What happened?"

Yuki blinked several times, then explained, "Asahina Mikuru was merely
measuring the length of his inseam."

"Exactly," Mikuru agreed with a nod, looking confused. "Did it seem like
something else happened?"

He coughed, his face red. "Um, anyway," he managed, "we thought we'd give that
to you and see where we should go from there."

Haruhi opened the envelope, pulling out a sheet of folded paper and a small
stack of SD cards. "What's this, a list of names?" she asked, frowning.

"The third year collectors," Koizumi offered.

"Tsuruya-kun has the first year collectors," Kanae's sempai added. "All that's
left is Yamane and the second year collector names."

"And he's going down," Yanagimoto added. "I don't follow whatever madness is
happening in this room, but I know that one fact! That's the only reason I'm
here."

"Right, well, then let's go get him and finish this off!" Haruhi declared,
grinning.

"Ah...." Koizumi looked uncomfortable, his smile weakening. "Is that wise?"

"I think you should leave this to me and Tsuruya-kun," Kanae's sempai said,
shaking his head. "Haruhi, you and Koizumi need to be ready to deal with the
student council president."

Haruhi glowered at him, then nodded reluctantly. "Alright," she sighed. "I get
the stupid desk job. Go be an action hero."

"Yeah, because that's exactly what my academic career needs," he replied,
nodding. "And my mother -- can't forget her."

"You're the one who told me to stay here and prepare to bail you out," she
warned him.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Yanagimoto interrupted. "However,
I do know that Yamane will let me into his club room, and lunch is going to
end pretty soon -- if you're going to do anything, we'd probably better
hurry."

Tsuruya leaned close to the boy and eyed him critically before producing a
hairbrush and straightening out his hair. "You know Yamane better than I do,"
she said, while he obediently held still and neatened his appearance up. "So
you want to talks to him?"

"I imagine I'm not the only one who wants to get a word in," he allowed,
glancing at Yanagimoto. "But, yeah, let's get this over with."

"Fine," Yanagimoto muttered, moving toward the door.

"Wait!" Haruhi barked, standing up and slapping her palms on the desk in front
of her. "Yanagimoto ... I still don't know what your problem with us is ...
but we're going to talk about it later."

Yanagimoto lowered her face, then grudgingly nodded. "We'll see about that
_after_ Yamane," she allowed.

Yuki closed her book and rose, setting it on the seat she had just vacated. "I
will go also," she announced quietly.

With that, the four left the classroom. Koizumi sighed, taking his usual seat
and eying the empty cup that Yanagimoto had left behind. Mikuru turned her
attention to her paper, unfolding it again and measuring against the numbers
she had collected from Kanae's sempai. "A coat doesn't have an inseam, Mikuru-
chan," Haruhi mused.

"I might make other things," Mikuru answered absently, absorbed in her current
project.

"Hmm.... I think you should measure Kanae-chan next." Haruhi gave a decisive
nod. "She's your trainee, you know!"

"Oh! Do I get a maid costume?" Kanae asked excitedly. This part of the
conversation she could follow.

Koizumi quirked an eyebrow, and rose to pour himself a cup of tea.

"We've already done that," Haruhi dismissed. "Plus, I think Kyon's developing
a maid fetish, and he shouldn't look at you that way."

Kanae pouted. "I wanted a maid costume...."

"What about a stewardess? Yeah, with your kawaiiko features and small frame, I
think you would look even more moe in uniforms."

"Ooh, that might be fun! But I'm not a kawaiiko, I use 'I'." She pondered.
"Would Sempai like Kanae-chan more if she referred to herself in the third
person?"

Haruhi made a choking noise, then crossed her arms in an 'x'. "Negative!" she
said, shaking her head quickly. "Too burikko ... and if you become a natural,
it'll be a kawaiiko overload. Anyway, Mikuru-chan, did you hear me? A
stewardess outfit for Kanae-chan!"

"I'll get on that next," Mikuru murmured, rolling up the papers she had
finished marking, then unfurling a bolt of cloth and producing a pair of
scissors.

"I swear," Haruhi grumbled, "when she's really invested in a project, she's in
a whole different world!"

"Well, Suzumiya-san, should we prepare our arguments for the student council?"
Koizumi suggested.