Lately, it seems that modern video games impress me less and less.

I'll save the "What's become of our arcades!?" rant for a later date, and focus on the console titles for the moment.

Basically, it seems to me that a lot of new titles lack a certain magic that older (pre 2000) titles used to have. It wasn't the 'classic' gaming thing, where you could pick it up and play, and the objective was to eat all the dots. It wasn't the idea that the score was the objective.

I'm not talking about things that old. But I look at well made games like Castlevania: Symphony of the Night. I've got a handful of flaws I can point out about that game, most of which could actually be considered to be my own fault, since they involve knowing where to go and what to get there. Anyway. Castlevania: SotN is a fantastic game that's relatively straight-forward. You walk, you jump, you hit things with your stabbiter, and so on. But then it builds on that. You can get a whole bunch of nifty items. You can get dozens of different weapons. You can find all these secrets.

SotN is a game with a lot of things to find, and is very rewarding to explore. Even if you never figure out the magic spells. But then you look at the PS2 Castlevania with such a forgettable name I can't even remember what it was.

I don't remember much about it except that it was very very uninteresting. Also, I was paid 5 dollars to take it. No, seriously. EB was running a promotion that gave you 5$ extra on each game you traded in if you bought one of their five 'hot new releases'. I had enough games to trade in that the extra 5$ per game gave me 5 extra dollars after picking up the new Castlevania. Wouldn't have picked it up otherwise, and when I finally got around to opening it (some months later) I promptly traded it in for cash value at the EB again (netting a cool 13$, which shows you how much the game depreciated in value over the course of about three months).

It seems to me that a big deal is made about innovation in gaming. But there's a whole lot that's either TOO innovative, and just so complicated/clunky it's not even worth it, or so non-innovative you have to wonder why.

Too much in gaming these days is rehashing or bad sequels. It's not that sequels are bad. It's just that ... well ... most sequels are bad. And games, as a rule, are far, far, far too trendy.

For example: "Like Devil May Cry with...."

I'm reasonably sure that if a gamer wants to play Devil May Cry, there's nothing keeping him from picking up ... Devil May Cry. And if they want a sequel, I've been told one already exists. This is where the lack of innovation comes in.

Are gaming publishing companies afraid to break new ground for some reason? I could see that. A lot of 'ground-breaking' games are pretty suck-tacular. But many of them are cool, too.

And as far as thinking they're taking the safe road by exploiting a popular genre, they'd probably get much more reward for more risk. From what I can see, knock-offs and clones tend to sell worse than even crappy 'revolutionary' games.

But I guess it costs a lot less to develop games based on something you've seen in action, versus something you make up yourself.

Either way, bottom line, I find myself caring less and less about more and more of the games that are coming out lately. I seem to prefer fewer titles.

I guess that's a good thing, though. Goes easier on my wallet.

So.

I told Sterling I was dropping out of his Mage campaign tonight.

I guess he took it pretty well. Seemed more annoyed with me than anything else.

I suspect he sees me as whiny. Which I probably really am.

But there are issues that are unresolved.

I think, at the core, my main problem is that I really want to be able to have fun and play Mage with my friends. But I can't have fun with the character I've got. I was locked into it early on, though, and Sterling wasn't flexible about changing things around after the fact (which is fair, reasonably), but I don't think he understood my reasons for wanting to change my character.

My character was, and I guess technically still IS just another Walker. Except that Walker's character does everything bigger, better, and with more flair. I can cause agg damage by cutting string! Walker carries a sword of flaming holy energy around at all times!

Jim's character is more demeaning, though. I think that the worst part about Jim's character is that the player could be really helpful to me, a relative newbie to the system. But the player won't because the character wouldn't, and when Jim is DONE playing, he immediately goes to play online, and is really too busy to help me out.

He offered tons of great helpful advice AFTER I got horribly screwed over. But really, my character can cut string and throw rocks. Jim's character has energy pistols.

I just can't stand up to a fanatic (Walker) and Jim's super-awesome- everything-is-coincidental-despite-my-better-efforts Technocrat with a Clarity of 5. I really want my character to be something. But all he can be is Walker's shadow, and when I do something different, Jim will always do it better anyway. So why bother?

I tried to come up with ways to change my character, but those changes, I realized, were essentially trying to ignore everything my character can do, and everything my character IS, just to make a new character. I'd be throwing away literally everything my character is and can do, just for a few cheap tricks, just because if my character can't do SOMETHING (anything!) that everyone else in the party can't already do better anyway.... I don't want to play a game to have a character that's the same as everyone else. That's my real life. I play games to escape.

Being forced into a situation where I'm in the back seat? Fuck that noise -- I could put in overtime at the office for the same experience, except get paid for it.

The GM was unfortunately very unflexible when it came to asking him for help about this -- first off, I wanted rotes, and he never found the time to help me out with that. I eventually came up with some on my own, but what my character can do is really limited, and (as has been established) others can do it better anyway. He did lend me the Verbena clan book, which was nice, and had neat stuff in it. But Walker still out-did me on that front at every turn.

I tried other things to help round my character out ... but all he could offer was information. My character SHOULD have been able to bridge the gap in communication between Major's character and Jim's character, etc., but couldn't. And the reason for that is because Jim knows more about the game than I do, even though my character is supposed to know more than his. And Jim decided that because I knew less about the game than he did, my character obviously did too. Why would I want to keep on playing? Half of the characters in the campaign hate or mock mine anyway.

I have a single merit, actually, which no one else has. Green thumb. My character is good at making things grow. It cost me two freebie points. Jim's character actively builds machines to kill my plants. It costs him zero points to do so.

I give up.

That was my last shot at the entire Mage system, but with this much bad blood, it's not happening. Not now, not ever.

I'm pissed.

I have aquired all 39 episodes of Mysterious Cities of Gold.

This is awesome beyond mortal comprehension.

I loved that show when I was a kid.

I think.

I love it now, though. :)

In other news, I appear to be GMing adequately, but not often enough. >_>;;

Time to take care of that, and adjust the TDAT site.

FRAWRESS VICTOLY.

Worked my first 2:00 PM to 11:00 PM shift today.

I think I took ... 15 calls. Resolved about 20 e-mail cases.

<_<

_>

Spent the rest of my time playing Cybots and C&Cing; fanfiction.

Now I've got just four days left of my work-week. I LOVE this.

Also. Paid my cell-phone bill, just hours before the cutoff time and the late fee that would come with it. O_O And my DSL bill, though, that wasn't in any danger. The kind people at DSL extreme are the best ISP I've ever worked with. I really hope I can keep them when I move out.

Hmm. Which I'm considering doing soon. In about 3-4 months, essentially. I've decided that I really don't want to live with my Grandmother anymore. :/

Looking like I'm running out of luck for aquiring a roomate, though. I thought David would be a cool roomate, but apparently Mandy and Alloni are going to ask him to move in with them ... and while Sterling would be the most awesome roomate ever, he could more comfortably live on his own, so, why bother?

Le sigh.

But, realistically, my new job gives me enough money to live fairly well on my own. I think. I could probably afford either a one bedroom, or better, a studio apartment by myself. That might be pretty sweet. Maybe even a place that allows pets. Definately plants.

Oh, gotta get a plant for work....

Well, gotta get up at 7:00 to go to work in the morning (the one downside to the late shift), so I'll ... just stay up late C&Cing; one more fic, THEN go to bed. :D

Saffron,

I remember when I met you. I remember when you said goodbye to your brothers and sisters, and came to live with me and my family. I remember that it was the last time you got to see your family.

You were brave, adventurous, tolerable of an annoying teen going through his worst, and always there for company when I wanted it.

I'm sorry I wasn't there for you the last few years. I know that this can't mean much ... and means too little now. But I wish I'd stopped in and said hello a time or two more. Skitty is holding up. He's a fighter, always has been. But he's going to miss you, old buddy. And I will too.

I don't think I'm ever going to forget saying goodbye. I can't imagine what it was like for you -- or it you even understood what was going on. If I'd had the money, I'd have seen to it that you got better. And if you couldn't get better, then I'd have seen that you were at least comfortable until the end. We grew up together, Saffy. I only hoped that you knew it was me saying goodbye in the end. I just hope, somehow, that you weren't scared, and alone.

And if the humane society can save you where I failed, I hope you get a good family, and they treat you well -- as well as you deserve. I'm sorry. I wish I could have done something. I'm so sorry.

May you still find joy, and respite from fear. Be happy, old buddy. And fare well.