Dying efficiently is not my forté.

I started coughing up something I've never seen before. Chunks of dark gray matter, sometimes nearly black in color. There was almost always blood in my snot when I blew my nose. Worried, I went to my doctor.

She said she didn't know what I had, but took a scraping from my throat for the lab. Hopefully it's nothing at all.

In the meantime, I'm ill. Fever off and on. Dizzy constantly. Can't sleep. And now? I've got some form of mucus exiting the tear duct of my left eye in my sleep. So my eye is irritated (yeah, this is aggravating my insomnia something fierce) and bothering the hell out of me. I've got no appetite.

At least I've got some medication for the symptoms, so I can pretend to feel better.

Blech. I can't wait until I'm actually better, though. -_-

DRAMA! DRAMA! DRAMA!

My roomate is in Hawaii. Apparently, he ran out of money and needs help while he's there visiting his girlfriend from Australia. He left me no way to get in touch with him, only orders to do so in a voicemail.

Annoying, and the information he gave his aunt to contact him turned out to be invalid. Then I get a call (at 11:15 PM, while I'm asleep) from his girlfriend's parents asking for her to give them a call.

I don't know what's going on, but I think it's both amusing and tragic that I'm catching fallout for whatever shenanegans are going on.

Oh well. Life goes on.

My Birthday was Monday. I had a party on Saturday (my Mom invited some friends over to dinner). That was nice, and I got an iPod. :D

And then my computer died last night. I'm tired of living in an apartment complex without grounding. Replacing my mother-board/CPU every three months is annoying, and not exactly cheap, either.

So much anger.

So much rage.

Stupid World of Warcraft. I get ONE fucking day off in the next two weeks, and that's today. I figure I'll play WoW on my day off and finish that quest I've been putting off on my warrior forever.

Big mistake. It turns out that as a level 29 warrior, I can't complete it without getting a group into an instance. This isn't a huge problem, but it's an instance no one would ever have a reason to go to, put somewhere where the players who are the right level for it would never bother to be.

So I wasted my entire single fucking day off because the 'soloable game' that Blizzard promised is only soloable by the time the quest (and reward) are obsolete anyway. My choices are ... what, power-leveling and just grinding until I can solo a level 29 elite with two guards? Making the guild help me out?

I give up. If Blizzard was trying to punish people who play the Warrior class for making such an idiotic move, they succeeded.

But I also just wasted my one fucking day off trying to have fun.

I'm furious. I'm about to delete that character ... but that would require logging in, which I no longer have time to do because all of my playtime was wasted sitting in front of a god-damned cave waiting to find out if anyone else was (ever) going to go in and was willing to help me out, or wanted my help.

Then I switched to my rogue for a bit ... and my level 9 rogue crits harder than my level 29 warrior. His DPS is double what the warrior was at the same level.

So angry at wasting time..... Wanted to unwind, but no. And now all my friends are level 40 and higher, so I can't play with ANY of them. It's so awesome being the guild leader, AND the guild lowbie.

Anger.

After taking some time to think about it, I've come to the conclusion that most likely I won't be changing my mind and continuing World of Warcraft.

It's gone beyond, "Am I having fun?" and to, "Can you enjoy the game knowing that one of your best friends thinks this game is more important than you and the majority of your mutual friends?"

The answer is no. I keep getting flashbacks to Everquest, when I focused on that game and ignored the majority of my friends for it. I hate how destructive I was of my own life, and seeing someone else do the same thing (even for a different game) depresses me to no end.

I doubt I'd ever be able to play without being reminded. And I don't think I want to play with someone who's only made uncomfortable by my presence.

I can't believe I willing played a game that would cost me a friend.

I wish I could go back in time and just not buy it.

But I can't.