---

Ranma slowly made his way through the bushes, looking back 
over his shoulder to make sure no one had see his stealthy 
departure from the Furukian high field. Man, if Nabiki 
found out that he was doing this, he'd never be able to 
afford the negatives.

Suddenly he was tackled with incredible speed by a blur of 
movement, which soon resolved itself in the form of one 
excited Chinese girl.

"Ok Shampoo, lets get this over with... what do you want?" 
Ranma said, after sitting up. Shampoo promptly glomped 
onto him, and for once (after looking around to make sure 
no one was watching) he hugged her back. Slowly she raised 
her head from his chest.

"Airen... How much longer we have to keep pretending? 
Great-grandmother is impatient with charade. Say it go on 
too long. We must go back to village!"

Ranma gazed into her beautiful eyes, seeing the hurt there 
and couldn't help but feel like a complete heal. "I'm 
sorry Shampoo... but I can't leave Akane! If I did, I'd be 
breaking the family's honor, and I can't do that. 
Especially with mom here! You've seen how set she is on me 
marrying Akane."

Shampoo pouted a bit. "But Ranma! You already marry me! 
You forgetting about time we spend in China? You say you 
love me!"

"I know Shampoo, I know! I do love you... its just.. 
well... I want to be near my mother. I've been away from 
her so long, I just can't stand to disappoint her."

"Ranma...." Shampoo looked on the verge of tears now. "I 
no can take this anymore! This acting like we not really 
married... I know you say it good training, but I no like 
it! Please Ranma, Please come home with me!"

Ranma gave a deep sigh, thinking back to that time in 
China... He'd, or rather she, had been going to bathe in a 
hot spring when Shampoo had surprised her. They had 
fought, and finally Shampoo and him had fallen into the 
spring... and when they reached the surface he'd had to 
explain to Shampoo that he was actually male... They'd had 
some good times after that, when he'd sneak away from his 
pop to spend the night with her... but it had always 
seemed like a sort of game, with her chasing them by day, 
and him being with her at night... It had been a lot of 
fun, but Ranma had always just sort of seen it as one more 
"technique" to learn on the training trip... he had really 
thought he'd never see Shampoo again when he went to 
Japan, little did he know that she had been far more 
serious about their relationship....

Which led him to his current problem. He had convinced 
Shampoo not to tell anyone about their history together, 
and gradually things had developed as they had (he hadn't 
known she was such a good actress, those tears had looked 
so real) and she'd brought her great-grandmother to meet 
her husband, and it was finally dawning on Ranma that he 
had gotten in way over his head by "playing" with the 
Chinese girl earlier. So far, he'd kept it a secret, still 
meeting her occasionally for some "fun" but he had 
secretly hoped that she would one day just give up and go 
back to China...

Especially now that he had Akane. There was just something 
about Akane that he couldn't place, and he wanted to 
explore a relationship with her so badly, yet how could he 
when he had already done what he had done with Shampoo? 
Shampoo had always remained faithful to him, had taken his 
curse in stride, did everything she could for him, and 
what did he do in return? Treat her like dirt. What was he 
to do?

"Shampoo..."

"Ranma, just say you love Shampoo one more time, and I 
leave you alone."

Ranma sighed. "Hai, I love you, Shampoo."

Suddenly there was a gasp and both of them looked up, 
startled to find Akane standing behind a tree not far 
away. Inwardly Ranma groaned, having known that eventually 
this day would come... Now his little reality was going to 
come crashing down around his ears.

Akane was in tears. "How could you! I thought you cared 
about me! But no, you were just using me! Fine go on, be 
happy with that little harlot of yours! You bastard!"

Ranma leaped to his feet. This wasn't suppose to be how it 
happened! "Akane! Wait, Please! Let me explain..."

Shampoo just sat there on the ground, looking up at him 
curiously. "Well, cat-out-of-bag now. Why you bother 
trying to comfort violent girl? Come home with me. Airen."

As Akane ran off in tears, Ranma felt his heart breaking. 
What had he done? Had he just given up his one chance at 
real happiness for some cheap sex with Shampoo? It was too 
late now, he'd never get her back... 

Then suddenly something came back to him, the way Shampoo 
had asked him to say "I love you" again... she had known 
Akane was there! How dare she! "You! You... you bitch! You 
tricked me!"

Shampoo recoiled from the intensity of the insult, 
completely bewildered now as to why Ranma was mad at 
*her*. "Ranma... Why.. why you call Shampoo that?" Tears 
began to well in her eyes. "Shampoo just want husband to 
come home! It not right that you keep chasing other women 
so! I try to play 'long with you game, but you just keep 
ignoring me! I not toy Ranma!"

Ranma had done it again, he realized, he'd hurt yet 
another person he cared about... Looking into Shampoo's 
eyes, he could feel the hurt she was feeling reflected in 
them, and he couldn't believe he had done that. He'd used 
her, and now he was treating her like dirt again... she 
had every right to hate his guts. "Shampoo.. I..."

But it was too little too late. With a sob Shampoo bounded 
away from him, and he quickly lost sight of her. Slowly 
Ranma slumped to the ground, feeling like he was the 
lowest scum on the planet, and in retrospect, maybe he 
*was* the lowest slime on the planet. Kuno just chased two 
women whom he loved, Ryouga was just looking for affection 
by sleeping with Akane disguised as a pig, even Happosai 
didn't actually hurt anyone when he stole panties... but 
Ranma was worse than all of them, because he hurt those he 
loved, instead of making them feel good. And right now, he 
really hated himself.

It was fitting that it started raining as Ranma wandered 
around Nerima. After what he had done, there was no way he 
could go home, and the rain matched his, or now her, mood 
perfectly. Finally, tired and soaked, she slumped down in 
an alley, shivering with the wet and feeling like she 
should just curl up and die. All her grand plans had been 
for nothing, and now everyone she cared about hated her. 
By now word of her transgressions must have reached the 
entire town, and she knew she'd find no friends here any 
longer.  She'd already dodged Ryouga twice (before it 
started raining) when he was out looking to punish her for 
doing that to Akane, and Ranma had been sorely tempted to 
let him. It would have been easy, she thought, just step 
into a punch, instead of away from it, and let Ryouga's 
massive strength crush her head like a grape. Then, it 
would be completely over, and she could stop hurting 
everyone...

"Ranchan? What are you doing her?"

Slowly Ranma glanced up, her eyes meeting one more person 
who she'd wronged terribly. Ukyo stood peering at her from 
the end of the alley, and sheepishly Ranma realized she'd 
chosen the alley behind Ucchan's to sulk in. 

"Ranchan! I think you'd better come with me, you look half 
frozen, and I bet you haven't eat yet, have you?"

Good old Ucchan, thought Ranma. Giving herself a self-
depreciating look. She must not have heard about his 
transgressions yet, but it was only a matter of time. Poor 
Ucchan only wanted to help him, and what had he given her? 
A life full of rejection and pain... He didn't deserve her 
friendship.

Ucchan, seeing that Ranma had heard her but was ignoring 
her, marched into the alley and grabbed the startled red-
head by the ear, dragging her into the restaurant. Sitting 
her down on a stool, Ranchan still refused to look her in 
the eye. With a sigh, she began to cook an okinomiaki for 
her fiancee.

Ranma felt even worse after being dragged into the Ucchan, 
because now he was taking advantage of yet another person 
he cared for. 

"Ranchan... what happened? You can tell me..." Started 
Ukyo, eliciting an icy glare from the sullen girl who 
seemed dead-set on remaining really depressed. "What, 
another fight with Akane?"

Ranma shook her head. "No... much worse... Ukyo, I've done 
something horrible! Shampoo and Akane are never going to 
forgive me!" Ranma suddenly began animated as she leaned 
over the counter, her eyes pleading for forgiveness from 
Ukyo, even though Ukyo quite frankly had no idea what 
Ranma was talking about.

"Uh, I'm sure its ok Ranma, you know that Akane always 
flys off the handle for the littlest things."

Suddenly Ukyo's hand was pulled away from her work on the 
okinomiaki grill and clasped in Ranma's hand, forcing her 
to look her in the face. "Ukyo... Will you... Will you 
come with me? I have to leave here... tonight. Please 
Ucchan... I've always loved you deep down, if you could 
just come with me, I'm sure we can build a life away from 
all these wacko's...."

Ukyo's heart skipped a beat, as at first she was sure she 
had heard him wrong, but gradually, Ranma's words began to 
sink in. He loved her! He wanted her to go away with him! 
She felt her heart swell as though it would burst. 
Finally, after all her hoping and dreaming, her fondest 
wish was coming true! "Of Course I'll go with you Ranma! I 
love you!"

"I love you too, Ucchan..."

***

Ranma stared up at the ceiling, a small smile on his face. 
Briefly he glanced over, making sure that his bed partner 
was still asleep as he absently patted her bare back. 
Someone did love him, Ukyo would never turn away from 
him... they'd get out of this town, away from memories of 
what he almost had with Akane and start all over again, 
and she could work to support him, and he was sure, where 
ever they settled, that he could find some new girls to 
keep around... He'd never be alone again, he swore. He 
*was* lovable, and just because Shampoo and Akane didn't 
love him enough, he'd make sure Ukyo did... and whoever 
else he could trick into falling in love with him along 
the way... maybe he would call up Kodachi, she had been 
great in bed that last time...

---
fin

Ok, this is a completely evil fic that I'm shocked I just 
wrote. I started writing it with just the idea "hey, what 
would happen if Shampoo *had* had a relationship with 
Ranma while they were in China? And things just sort of 
developed from there as I wrote for the hour of time 
required. I don't know at what point I decided to make 
Ranma a totally despicable pervert, bent on having all 
women worship him to fulfill his own ego, but that's kinda 
they way it ended up. Anyway, this is just a spam fic, but 
feel free to c&c anyway.