Catch if Catch Can!
Ranma1/2 Fanfic
by Ryan Anderson

Note: I just sorta got inspired to write this little 
story about Shampoo and Ranma... I suppose you could 
call it a precursor to events that take place in Purple 
Haired Destiny. This is regular continuity, so it would 
probably take place not too long after the end of the 
Manga.

---

Ranma was bored. There was no question, as exciting as 
his life always seemed to be, for once, he found himself 
thoroughly bored out of his skull. For the past week of 
summer vacation, NOTHING had happened. No strange 
martial artists had wandered in and attacked him, Ryouga 
was lost, and with school out he never saw Kuno. Even 
Shampoo hadn't glomped him recently. The heat was 
oppressive, and it was like no one had the will to do 
anything anymore. His last fight with Akane hadn't even 
had had any of the usual intensity, as neither of them 
had wanted to go to the effort.

So, consequently, he, or make that she, since she'd 
recently doused herself with cold water in an attempt to 
ward off the heat, was walking aimlessly through the 
park, trying to soak up what little shade their was. It 
was strange, but Ranma really couldn't think of a time 
in the past year when he'd actually managed to go more 
than a whole week with out getting into at least a few 
fights with Akane. However, over the past week it had 
been like the tomboy was avoiding him or something... 
she had only hit him once, and not even very hard. Ranma 
supposed he should be thankful for that, Akane really 
hadn't had any reason to be mad him lately... Ukyo was 
busy with her business full time now that she was done 
with school for the summer, and with Shampoo 
conspicuously absent....

That gave Ranma an idea. He hadn't seen the bouncy 
Chinese girl for quite some time, maybe he'd pay her a 
visit. A small voice in the back of his head told him 
that that was probably the stupidest idea he could have 
come up with, but even if it did get him in trouble, it 
was _guaranteed_ to relieve his boredom. Besides, 
whenever Shampoo disappeared for any length of time it 
almost always meant she was up to something, and maybe 
if he dropped in on her unannounced he could head 
whatever she was planning off at the pass.

***

Shampoo was bored. The Nekohanten was practically empty 
today, as the heat kept people away, and it wasn't 
anywhere near dinner rush yet, so she was just lounging 
around at one of the shadier booths. If only something 
would happen that would relieve her boredom....

Shampoo glanced up idly, looking around the darkened 
establishment. With the shades drawn and the lights off, 
it was *almost* cool in here. Mousse was absently 
washing a glass, every now and then pausing to wipe some 
sweat off his brow. Shampoo gave a soft sigh, watching 
him. It was a good thing he couldn't see her, if he had, 
she'd never hear the end of it. Mousse just never seemed 
to understand that she didn't want his love, but she 
would have liked it if he could just be her friend. It 
was so lonely here, with no one able to speak her native 
language... and if the language barrier wasn't enough to 
keep her from making friends, all the girls here 
resented her anyway... just like back home. 

Everyone was always so serious here. Sometimes she 
wondered if she should just give up on Ranma and strike 
out on her own, go and see the world... but, when would 
she ever find anyone like Ranma again? She smiled 
briefly, indulging herself in a small fantasy about 
gazing into Ranma's deep blue eyes....

In every way, he was perfect. His skill at martial arts, 
his deep sense of honor... he even had a female side so 
he could gain a superior perspective on the world, and 
she could treat him as an equal. Well, that's wasn't 
quite true, Shampoo supposed, he wasn't quite perfect... 
in fact, he had one large, glaring flaw... he always 
ignored her and treated her like dirt. Shampoo's smile 
faded into a frown. Why wouldn't he ever take their 
relationship seriously? If he'd only just give it a 
chance, Shampoo *knew* he'd come around. They had so 
much in common; martial arts, fighting spirits, a lust 
for adventure... If she could just get Ranma to pay 
attention to her for longer than five seconds....

But it seemed hopeless. Ranma never seemed to react the 
way he was suppose to her presence. She tried to entice 
him away, drug him into spending time with her, 
ANYTHING, but it never worked. Why couldn't she just get 
kidnapped instead of Akane! Then Ranma would come 
chasing after her for once. He'd done it on occasion, 
when the Bakeneko had captured her, and again when Pink 
and Link tried to take her out, but why in the world did 
Ranma want a weak girl that got captured all the time? 
Akane it seemed never fought back against anyone *but* 
Ranma... Shampoo would never be like that. She could 
have beat Pink and Link, but she had waited for Ranma to 
come and rescue her... It was so humiliating, but it 
seemed the only way to get his attention. She'd fought 
along side him plenty of times (usually to rescue Akane) 
but it was only when she was in danger that he seemed to 
even notice she existed. Couldn't he respect that she 
was (or, at least, had been) as good a martial artist as 
him? Sure, she'd admit now that Ranma could beat her any 
day, but she'd been slacking off lately, without her 
Amazon sisters to give her a proper workout. Still, she 
was good enough that she just didn't need his help all 
the time, like Akane did. Why couldn't he see her as an 
equal?

Shampoo put her head down on the table, giving a small 
"hmph" at the impudence of men. Wouldn't they ever 
learn?

Suddenly the door of the Nekohanten opened and instantly 
Shampoo was up and bouncing forward, putting forth her 
best "happiest person in the world" face. It wouldn't 
due for the customer to be greeted by anything less.

"Welcome to the Nekohanten... Aiya! Airen!" Indeed, it 
was him, quite possibly the last person Shampoo had 
expected to walk through her door. Feeling the joy that 
always seemed to bubble up with in her at seeing him (or 
in this case, her... but it hardly mattered what sex 
Ranma was, she loved him either way), Shampoo felt 
genuine happiness take the place of the forced smile she 
had put on. 

"Yo! Shampoo! What's up?" With a leap and a bound, 
Shampoo fairly danced over the air to Ranma, readying a 
Queen-sized glomp, special for this surprise visit. 
However, just as she was about to execute the move, she 
found Ranma was no longer where she had expected her to 
be. Shampoo spun to face the smaller red-head, her smile 
growing even larger. She'd played this game with him so 
many times before, and he never seemed to grow tired of 
it. He'd always dodge, she'd give chase... It was always 
so much fun when she finally caught him and he (or 
occasionally she) would squirm in her grasp.

With a quick feint to one side, then a quick move to the 
center, she had the startled girl wrapped in a 
wonderfully tight hug, pressing her one true love into 
her chest. "Airen! I so happy to see you! You come take 
Shampoo to date?" 

Ranma never said yes to her asking for a date, but every 
time she caught her, she felt she had to ask, just on 
the off chance that one day her heart might change. 
However, that day wasn't today. "What? No! I just uh... 
I just came by to uh... g-get out of the sun, that's 
all. Do you have anything cool to drink?"

Shampoo reluctantly let go of the small girl, giving her 
a curious look before leading her over to a nearby 
table. What was she doing here? For once, none of the 
other fiancee's seemed to be lurking nearby, and 
Shampoo's heart soared at the thought that she might 
actually have Ranma all to herself. "You wait here, 
Ranma... I get you special drink." She said, smiling 
back over her shoulder as she headed for the kitchen. 
She returned a moment later with a jug of lemonade and 
two glasses, which she placed on the table, then slid 
into the seat across from her. 

Pouring a glass for herself and one for Ranma, Shampoo 
took a long drink from hers while Ranma watched. It 
still hurt a little to think that Ranma wouldn't accept 
food from her without verifying in someway that it 
wasn't drugged, but then Shampoo supposed she had reason 
to be suspicious. With Kodachi as a suitor, one could 
never be too careful about what one ate or drank, and 
Shampoo had to admit she had tried drugging him a few 
times... She did hope that eventually he would forgive 
and forget that little incident though.

Apparently assured by Shampoo's own drink from the 
lemonade, Ranma finally tried hers, downing most of it 
in one gulp, then pouring herself another glass. Shampoo 
smiled across at her, in a rather predatory way. "So, 
Ranma... if not come here take Shampoo for date, why you 
come?"

Ranma just about choked on her lemonade. Setting it 
down, she looked around nervously. "I uh... well... I 
was just kinda bored, I guess... I figured that there's 
always something going on around here. Where's the old 
Ghoul, anyway?"

"Oh, she back in Joketsuku for week, on tribal business. 
No one here but me and stupid Mousse." Vaguely, in the 
background, Shampoo heard a small crash, and she smiled 
to herself, hoping that maybe this time, as opposed to 
the thousands of other times she'd insulted him, Mousse 
might get the point.

"Oh..." Ranma actually looked a bit disappointed that 
her great-grandmother wasn't here, a sure sign that 
Ranma must be more than just bored. This was bordering 
on desperate.

Shampoo smiled again, standing up with a flourish as 
Ranma polished off her second glass of lemonade. Ranma 
and her had *a lot* in common, though he'd never admit 
it. And one of the things they had in common was that 
they both enjoyed the fast-paced life that they lived, 
always anticipating the next adventure, never satisfied 
with just staying as they were. Shampoo couldn't, for 
the life of her, figure out what made Ranma think for a 
second that he could be happy living in a dojo, just 
teaching classes all the time. It seemed absurd to 
Shampoo, she could see so much fire in him, he would 
never be content to just stay in one place. If only she 
could make him see... together they could make such a 
grand pair, fighting the enemies of the Amazons, 
traveling the world, getting in to exciting 
adventures... Why couldn't he see what she was offering 
him? Oh well, Shampoo said to herself, she'd just have 
to show him.

"Ranma, you want play game?" she said, giving her her 
best, most winning smile. 

"Ah, Shampoo, your 'games' always end up with me some 
how getting tricked into to doing something. Besides, 
games are for kids."

Shampoo's face fell, then reset itself in a more neutral 
fashion. "This game not like that! Shampoo promise! You 
like this game! And it good training too."

"I don't know Shampoo..."

"Shampoo make you deal. You catch Shampoo, you get 
lemonade for free. That game! What you say?"

"All I have to do is catch you? What, like tag?"

Shampoo looked at Ranma like she'd just said the dumbest 
thing on the planet. "No silly, is Amazon game to 
improve speed. It called 'Catch if Catch Can' but if 
Ranma think she too slow to catch Shampoo..."

The taunt had the exact effect Shampoo had been going 
for. "Hey! I can catch you any day!"

Shampoo was over to the door in a flash. "Then come 
catch if can silly! Bphttth!" she said with a laugh, 
sticking her tongue out at him.

***

Ranma was to the door in a flash, but Shampoo was 
already moving again, leaping up onto the roof and 
moving away at tremendous speed. Ranma just smiled as 
she leapt up after her, hot on her heels. Ranma might be 
a lot faster than her when it came to a fight, but 
running they were very evenly matched, Shampoo had 
always had a propensity for death-defying leaps and 
covering vast distances. This was not going to be your 
average game of tag.

Despite himself though, and the blazing heat, she found 
himself grinning as she followed closely behind Shampoo, 
shaving off corners and trying to gain on her. Running 
on flat ground, in a straight line, the two girls were 
probably evenly matched, but this was hardly ground they 
were running on, much less anything flat. The race soon 
became a battle of wits more than speed, as Shampoo 
tried to take courses that slowed Ranma down, while 
Ranma tried to shave off corners and find faster ways 
along Shampoo's same path.

Slowly he began to close in on the amazon, bit by bit as 
a they both began to tire, but he could still hear her 
laughing with such a pretty, innocent laugh... so unlike 
Shampoo. This whole game was making Ranma feel rather 
silly, it was like he was a kid all over again, without 
a care in the world as the two of them flew over the 
ground, so fast that most people never even saw them 
pass overhead. Despite himself, Ranma soon found himself 
laughing too, whether just from the plain absurdity of 
it all, or from the primitive joy that seemed to come 
from acting like a kid again. 

Ranma had been forced to grow up fast, facing the 
hardships of life on the road, his father had never 
really allowed him much time to play. In only a few 
instances through his childhood, such as playing with 
Ukyo, could he remember really feeling carefree, like he 
was now. It was like all the problems of the world, 
whether about fiancees, curses or martial arts, just 
fell away....

He was nearly caught up with Shampoo now, barely a 
hand's breadth away from being able to catch her, but 
suddenly the catching her didn't seem to matter as much, 
it was enough just to laugh and run, and lose himself 
for the moment.

Soon though, it had to come to an end. With a quick 
dodge, Shampoo ducked under his outstretched arm and 
leaped over a fence, only to finally stop running and 
turn to face him, breathing hard. Ranma came down 
opposite her, and the two of them faced off. Shampoo had 
a huge grin on her face, looking generally pleased with 
the world, and Ranma couldn't help but echo it. This had 
been just what he had needed, an escape from the boredom 
without that release being something serious and life 
threatening.

"I've gotcha now Shampoo, give up?" She asked, circling 
The taller, purple-haired girl.

Shampoo, having regained her breath, just smiled back. 
"It not over yet Ranma! You still have to catch me!"

With a sudden rush, Shampoo leaped *toward* Ranma, 
catching her off guard. She then executed a series of 
simple attack moves, all of which Ranma blocked pretty 
much purely by instinct, but they forced the smaller 
girl into a defensive position, and as soon as she was, 
Shampoo vaulted over her and leaped away again, using 
Ranma's head for a spring board.

Ranma, blinking from the suddenness of the turn around, 
smiled and once more took up the pursuit.

***

Akane paused for a moment, wiping sweat from her brow. 
Damn its hot out, she thought to herself, and where is 
that baka Ranma, anyway? Going to the store was supposed 
to be his job today, but oh no, he had to go off and 
leave it to her. Ranma was so irresponsible, never 
bothering with other people's needs, and only doing 
things for himself. 

"He's probably out swimming with Shampoo and Ukyo." 
Akane said to herself, imagining an ice-cold pool with 
longing, even if she couldn't swim. Rage quickly began 
building up within her that she was stuck lugging 
groceries around when it wasn't even her job on a day 
like today.

She heard the laughter first, but they were already upon 
her as she turned around to look for its source. Two 
people blew by her, so fast her hair and dress rippled 
in the wind of their passing. Turning quickly back to 
the front, she could just make out two dust clouds 
disappearing in the distance... When suddenly she 
realized who those voices belonged to: Ranma and 
Shampoo.

Lightning quick she dropped the groceries, leaving them 
forgotten on the ground as she took up chase. With her 
typical battle cry of "RRRRAAAAANNNNMMMAAA!!!!" a giant 
mallet appeared in her hand. He'd gone too far this 
time, not only leaving *her* to do all his work, but 
going off to have fun with Shampoo of all people! And 
then, to run by her, *laughing*... It was like they were 
taunting her with how much fun they were having with 
each other! Well, she'd make sure he was sorry....

***

Ryouga stopped, looking around at his unfamiliar 
surroundings. "Argh! Where am I now?" he shouted to no 
one in particular. Why could he never get where he was 
going? Ranma, that was the answer. It was all Ranma's 
fault. It was Ranma's fault that he'd gotten lost 
chasing after him, and now he hadn't seen his darling 
Akane in over a week! He felt like he was going to go 
insane if he didn't find her soon...

"Oh Akane... When I find you this time, I'll tell you, I 
swear I'll tell you my feelings for you..."

Suddenly joyful laughter filled the air, and Ryouga 
couldn't help but sigh... somewhere, people were 
happy... Why couldn't he ever be?

As if the Kami where trying to show him once again just 
how unfortunate he was, suddenly something impacted the 
back of his head, knocking him flat. Slowly, painfully, 
Ryouga struggled back to his feet looking after his 
assailant, but just as he was about to look up, another 
laughing individual leapt off his head, implanting him 
in the pavement once more.

"Wha... What's going on here?" Ryouga muttered trying 
once more to pick himself up. But once again, he was put 
in his place by a foot to the back of his head. This was 
it, he decided. That was the last straw. The Kami were 
all set against him, obviously, so he was just going to 
lie here forever... but then, he heard *her* voice.

"Oh, gosh Ryouga I'm really sorry!" In a flash he was 
back on his feet, watching Akane fade into the distance 
with her mallet at ready. "Akane? Akane!!!" With a 
joyous yelp, Ryouga decided that maybe life was worth 
living, if only so he could be with his Akane again. 
With a new surge of strength, he ran off after her.

***

Shampoo giggled as she dodged around yet another corner, 
eluding Ranma's grasp by mere inches. At last, she 
thought. Finally Ranma is paying attention to me! And 
having fun! Now was the prefect time to execute the 
final phase of her plan.

With a mighty leap, Shampoo flew over the next building, 
landing quickly and spinning around, waited for her 
Airen to leap into her arms....

***

Ranma almost had her! Her hand had missed grabbing 
Shampoo's ankle by a bare centimeter as the amazon 
launched herself completely over a building. Taking a 
moment to wipe the sweat from her brow, Ranma prepared 
to follow, hoping that this "game" wouldn't last too 
much longer in this heat. Suddenly though, from behind 
her, Ranma heard a voice that she knew only too well....

"Ranma!!!" In and instant Shampoo was forgotten as 
Ranma's brain hard locked trying to come up with an 
excuse that would appease the violent tomboy... but it 
was no use.

"Oh, uh... er... hi Akan*mrf*..." she started. She 
didn't even get the chance to explain herself though, 
because just as she turned to face her new opponent, a 
large mallet implanted itself in her face.

"And just WHAT do you think your DOING Ranma?" Akane 
yelled at the smaller girl as she tried to pick herself 
up of the ground.

"Oh, n-n-nothing Akane, honest! Shampoo and I..." Had 
she been able to think clearly though the haze of pain, 
Ranma would probably have mentally kicked himself for 
mentioning Shampoo at all....

"Shampoo?!? Oh, I see Ranma, you were off chasing after 
that bimbo!" 

"No! I wasn't! Well, not really..." Ranma replied trying 
desperately to find someway to salvage the situation.

She was never given the chance, however, as suddenly the 
wall next to them exploded outward, showering them with 
dust and rock shards. As the cloud of debris cleared, an 
enraged Ryouga glaring down at the startled pair. 
"Ranma! How dare you cheat on Akane with Shampoo! I'll 
teach you!"

***

Shampoo sighed from the roof as she watched the general 
melee that insued. So close, dammit, so close... just 
one more building and he would have been hers! With sad 
eyes she watched as she was completely forgotten by her 
red-headed husband-to-be, as Ranma was chased away from 
her by an ever growing group of attackers and would-be 
lovers. Normally, she supposed, she'd be one of them, 
but not today.

For once, she didn't feel like chasing after Ranma. 
Watching how fast he had completely forgotten she 
existed hurt more than she ever expected. Hadn't they 
just been having fun a second ago? What was so special 
about Akane that he would forget everything for her in a 
moment's time?

Shampoo crushed a tile of the roof she was sitting on 
beneath her fist as the frustration and anger at being 
tossed aside so welled within her... Yet just as 
suddenly the feelings slid away, leaving her feeling 
lonely and empty. Her anger wouldn't make Ranma pay 
attention to her, she'd tried that approach, and it only 
seemed to work for Akane. Sullenly, she watched her love 
run off into the distance, and felt tears welling in her 
eyes, which she forced back. 

No, she thought, I am an amazon warrior, I will not cry 
over my failures. With a heavy heart, Shampoo picked 
herself up and jumped to the street below. Someday, she 
vowed, someday she'd make him see her....

***

Ranma was finally alone and back in his proper male 
form. The warm summer night eased his mind into quiet 
contemplation as he stared up at the stars from the 
dojo's roof. Thinking things through had never been his 
strong point, he knew, for in a fight one didn't have 
time to think, only instinct and feeling mattered. Yet 
more and more he had found himself coming up here, 
contemplating the complicated events surrounding his 
life.

Today just seemed one more thing to add to the pile of 
things he had no answer for. Just about ever night these 
days he'd find himself up here before long, sitting 
alone with his thoughts, his pile of things he had no 
answer for. He'd dig through everything he knew in order 
to find an answer for that pile, and most of the things 
in it were linked so he felt if he could just find one 
answer, the rest would follow. 

When he had first started coming up here he had idly 
wondered why he thought he could find the answers just 
sitting around and thinking. Shouldn't he be going out 
and looking for them? but somehow he just knew that the 
answers for these questions that had no answers would 
not be found anywhere else, and if there was one thing 
he had learned from his study of martial arts, it was 
that you had to trust your gut feelings.

Today's incident didn't seem all that important on the 
surface... it was the same kind of zaniness that seemed 
to happen all the time around here, and everything 
seemed to have gone back to normal. P-chan was sleeping 
in Akane's bed, Akane had bashed him over the head a few 
more times then sent him into the koi pond, everything 
seemed normal... but Ranma's instincts told him he was 
still missing something.

Then it hit him... Shampoo! He'd never caught up to her 
and, for once, she hadn't been part of the general melee 
that insued. What had happened to her? Ranma couldn't 
believe that he had so completely forgotten about her... 
she was probably still at the Nekohanten waiting for him 
to come pay his bill.

Suddenly there was a soft thump of someone landing on 
the roof next to him, and in an instant Ranma was on his 
feet, ready for whatever was thrown at him next. He 
instantly relaxed (a little) upon noticing it was only 
Shampoo. However, he was puzzled by the fact that she 
didn't seem to be her normal glomping self... in fact, 
she looked almost... sad?

"Nihao Ranma..." she said, meeting his gaze evenly.

"Shampoo! Ah, you've come to collect the money I owe you 
for the lemonade, right?" Ranma asked, feeling like he 
was still missing something here....

"No Ranma, you... you did catch Shampoo... Not worry 
about money." Shampoo looked away, suddenly seemingly 
fascinated by the roof tiles.

Ranma was completely puzzled now. How had he caught her? 
He didn't remember ever even touching her since the game 
started... "Uh, Shampoo... I don't understand. How and 
when did I catch you?"

Shampoo looked back up at him, a smile on her face. 
"That not important now, Ranma... You enjoy game? Maybe 
someday, we play again?"

Ranma was still puzzled by Shampoo's rapidly changing 
moods, but at least she didn't seem sad or upset 
anymore. And he had enjoyed the chase. "Sure Shampoo, 
anytime."

Shampoo's smile became sly on hearing that. "Hmpf. Next 
time, Shampoo maybe catch *you*, and next time, I not go 
easy on you!"

Ranma returned the smile. "Sure Shampoo..."

"Ranma, Shampoo go now. You come to Nekohanten when you 
ready for rematch." and with that she was gone as 
quickly as she had come, disappearing into the night. 

Ranma smiled and shook his head at the phenomena that 
was Shampoo. As if he didn't have enough problems trying 
to figure out Akane, Shampoo was a complete enigma. 
Friendly and loving, then suddenly fierce and deadly. 
She seemed so... primal, so much like a force of nature 
where she threw everything that she was into everything 
that she did. There seemed to be no halfway with 
Shampoo.

Ranma shrugged once more before sitting back down and 
looking up at the stars again. Just one more thing to 
add to his pile of things he didn't have an answer 
for....

---
End

Author's notes:
Well, this little story really doesn't have too much 
point in the greater scheme of things, except as a sort 
of answer to all those soft romantic pieces about Ranma 
and Akane everyone seems to be doing lately. I just 
wanted to show the more playful side of both these 
characters, which is so often downplayed. They really do 
have similar, yet different, personalities. One's that 
could mesh so well if just given the chance...

Well, I'm now going to be getting back to writing PHD 3, 
and with any luck I'll have that done by next week. C&C 
is always welcome, even if its just to tell me that this 
story was dumb and pointless. 

Oh, and just a few notes on other projects I'm currently 
working on: 
I'm planing on actually getting back to my first fic, 
Love's Labors Lost (a Tenchi fic) one of these days, I 
know its been eons since I posted the first chapter... I 
also started writing a fanfic about Akane, as I figured 
I'd been giving the girl so much flak in my writing I 
had better write a story staring her... though don't 
expect a Ranma-gets-Akane fic by any stretch of the 
imagination. ;) Also in the works: a sequel to "5 of a 
kind" (original story by James Allen, I believe) 
focusing on Shampoo and her Ranma (gosh, you think I 
write enough Shampoo stories?) and I've been thinking of 
writing an Ukyo story too... We'll see ^-^

Thanks for reading!! 

Ryan Anderson
andersor@cs.colorado.edu
http://ucsu.colorado.edu/~andersor/tenchi/ryoko.html